I have all the confidence in the world that Barack Obama will be elected President on November 4th. This confidence does not stop me from making phone calls or canvassing for my local--Omaha NE, or should I say Obamaha--Barack Obama campaign office. On November 4th, from 12-3, I will go wherever that office needs me to go. Nebraska, despite being deep red, has a few dents in its republican armor and I would like nothing more than to see a small see of blue on election day in my little burb and if it helps Jim Esch and Scott Kleeb get elected, even better.
My concerns are directed to the future, specifically towards those people who think that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim terrorist or Marxist or Commie or whatever. I bring this up because of something that happened yesterday...
Omaha, Nebraska is perhaps the biggest small town in the United States. We have a population of more than a half a million people but I swear to you, everybody knows everyone. For example, I went to high school with Jim Esch, he was a senior when I was a junior, he was senior class president, and, if memory serves, voted most likely to run for public office--I was voted most likely to start my own cult, I have no idea why.
Anyway, because Omaha is such a 'small town' people think nothing of injecting themselves into conversations at restaurants, bars, grocery stores, wherever. I don't care for this, but will admit that I have done it myself on occasion. The other day I was having lunch with a friend who has only very recently shown interest in politics. I'm proud to say that he will be voting for Barack Obama. While I would love to take all the credit, some must be given to the Daily Show.
Here we are, at lunch, having a political discussion, when, from the booth over my shoulder I hear a woman say, "I won't vote for Barack Obama, I don't trust him." I see my friend's eyes staring past me so I turn around, "Pardon me?" I say. "I don't trust him," says this woman, "I would have voted for Hilary but I won't vote for Barack."
Had my friend not been there, yelling would have commenced because I am something of a firebrand, but my friend brings out the best in me, he's that good of a guy.
"Why don't you trust him?" I ask.
"Because," she said, "He's a secret Muslim who supports terrorists and a socialist and I don't like the people he hangs around with."
"Ah. Well, if that's the case, what are you going to do after election day if he wins?"
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well, your reasons for not voting for him aren't that he'll screw up the economy or that he's got terrible foreign policy. You think he's some sort of sleeper agent who will destroy the country."
"YES!" she said.
"Well, then on November 5th, if Barack Obama is president, you'd better run."
"What?"
"Oh yes, I know that Barack Obama is none of those things, but there's no way I can convince you of that. But, since I donated money to his campaign, helped get him elected," I said, pointing at my Obama Biden button, "Then I might be one of the people charged with hunting people like you down and beating you with a large stick. And believe me, I will if asked."
Joe started laughing at this point.
The woman got angry, "All I'm saying is that he's got bad influences and that Hilary would have been better."
"No, you're not saying that, you are saying that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim terrorist who cannot be trusted, you might as well say he's an alien come here from the Moon to take over. So, for your own safety, if Barack Obama is elected, run away, run to Canada, no, wait they have socialized medicine there, they're part of the problem. Flee to Luxembourg, that place just sounds safe."
The woman gave me the stink eye and turned back around to finish her meal.
End scene.
Having been a progressive for a long time, I have heard people tell me plenty of times "if you don't like it, get out of my country!" "My" country, like they own it. It's a cliche to say if McCain wins, I'm moving to country X usually Canada. I don't think that if McCain wins the streets will fill up with McCain storm troopers and carry me away in the night, I just think the government will run a little worse, the economy will get worse, and we'll stay in Iraq forever. That's not quite enough to make me leave my family and head up to the great white North.
But these new McCain supporters, I feel, are actually terrified of a Barack Obama presidency. McCain knows Barack isn't a secret Muslim terrorist but this new breed of idiot doesn't. So, I'm not saying, "If you don't like it, get out of my country." I'm saying, hey, if you're right, you'd better run, because I donated money to the guy and you stood on a street corner and said Bomb Obama or Nobama.
Ah, remember the good 'ol days when John Kerry was running and George W. Bush convinced just enough people that Kerry would be soft on terror and that a vote for Kerry was a vote for 'gettin' blowed up real good.' Now, people actually think that a vote for Barack Obama is a vote for a terrorist. I guess what I'm saying is, on November 5th after Barack Obama has won, I will be more than happy to help anyone pack. Send me some maple syrup when you get there!