Part of everyone's frustration with McPalin is not the fact that they're running a sleazy, indefensibly crooked campaign which is short on policy and strong on defamation. That's self-evident. What's maddening is that for once, just once, we'd love to see someone in the campaign tell the truth about something (apart from "If we keep talking about the economy. John McCain loses"). Let's close our eyes and imagine what that might be like. . .
Rick Davis, chief executive officer of John McCain's 2008 presidential campaign, shocked reporters this morning during an impromptu briefing, upon being asked yet again (re: Sarah Palin's selection as VP nominee) "Just what the hell was John McCain thinking?" The flustered Davis sighed heavily, shook his head, then said:
"Look, what do you want to hear? That he had a momentary brain aneurysm? That someone made a bad joke to an intern who was on the horn to Juneau before we could sober up enough to stop him? That John secretly wanted to lose to Obama?
I'll give it to you straight. John wanted Joe Lieberman on the ticket with him, but I thought Dobson's head was gonna explode when he heard that. The right-wingers started tossing names around, and the next thing you know, someone's betting John that he doesn't have the balls to pick Sarah Palin from Alaska. Everyone was snickering and elbowing each other on that one.
Well, if you know anything about John McCain, you know better than to throw down the gauntlet like that. Next thing you know, he's in the guy's face, wagging his finger, and saying, "You just watch me, you little piss-ant! Rick, get that Alaska girl on the phone!" I'm not proud of myself, but I did it. John can be kind of scary when he gets his dander up. Next thing you know, all hell's broken loose, and our poll numbers are free fallin' like a Wall Street broker from an eighty-story building.
So after Sarah Palin, you all know the rest. Joe the Plumber, Rashid Khalidi, Socialism, terrorism, nothing sticks to that SOB. He's like a black Ronald Reagan, a real teflon candidate. (Sighing heavily, and gripping the podium with both hands) You can't un-ring a bell, guys, so the best I can do to make amends is to say that as of Saturday, November 1st, 2008, I am officially announcing my support for, and endorsement of, Senator Barack Obama of Illinois for president of the United States. Get out and vote, people. I wish I could do more, I wish I could apologize more, but at this late date, that's about all I've got left in me."