I canvassed today.
To most people canvassing is, at worst, a hated chore. I wish it were so simple with me.
You see, I have moderate to severe social anxiety. It occurs at strange times. For example, when I go to the store...any store...I sit in my car sometimes for half an hour working up the courage to go inside. Sometimes that doesn't even work, and I end up just going back home to try again another time.
When I went back to school at 30, the 2 hardest things were to walk into the classroom, and being called on in class. I actually had a pretty bad panic attack one day when I was called on even though I knew the answer.
Walking up to strangers is also a huge trigger for my anxiety. I'm OK if approached and also OK in a group of people...but never alone, walking up and introducing myself, or anything else like that. It's kinda a sucky way to live...but I'm dealing with it the best I can.
Last night I read the plea for help on the top of the rec list here. I'm in St Louis although not in the north county area. Still, I got up this morning and started getting ready. It took 3 hours to work up to it...but I finally called the north county office that deanobama was talking about. The shift started at 1pm and I would have to leave in a half hour in order to get there on time.
Well, because I debated with myself whether or not I would go...I didn't leave until the last possible moment. That meant when I parked in front of the office I didn't have time to think about going in...I just did. I was paired up with a wonderful partner, another first time canvasser. We did the first street together. Me with the door hangers, and him with the actual knocking and speaking. I was thrilled at how easy this was!
Then it was time for us to take different sides of the street. This wasn't quite so easy. In fact, every time I walked up to someone’s door my feet slowed, my heart rate crept up, and I was extremely tempted to just check it off my list and mark "not home". Every time I rang a doorbell, my hand shook. Every time a door opened, I expected the worst.
You know what? Not only did I go to every door on the list, but the worst thing that happened is someone telling me that they "didn't want any". Huh? I'm not selling anything.
You know what else? I'm doing it again tomorrow.
If I can do it...you can do it.