This past Saturday was a day of celebration, a day of tears, a day of family and friends and co-workers. It was a day of protests and counter protests. A day of drizzly rain and rays of sunshine. It was a day of love and a day of struggle.
Through the stress of the day I ran a myriad of emotions from anger to joy. Everyone was thoroughly exhausted by the time the day had ended, the food had disappeared and the last glass of bubbly had been drunk. It was worth every emotion and every tear and every dollar out of my wallet.
All of this was because of one thing:
On Saturday, November 1, 2008 at 4:00 PM Pacific time, in the County of Orange in the State of California, I married another man.
For months we had been planning and finally the day arrived.
In Orange County, CA, my fiance and I had everything ready. The hotel conference room had been decorated with pumpkins and autumn leaves. The wedding party had their homemade boutonnieres of sunset roses and baby's breath.
But down the street, about two blocks or so, the Yes on Prop. 8 people were standing on a corner and waving signs telling the passers-by that traditional marriage was on the verge of extermination because there were two men or two women actually getting married all over California on that day.
However, further down the street was a No on Prop. 8 rally with lots of young adults and plenty of others waving and holding signs that said, "No Bigots in California! No on 8" or "Equality for all. That means everybody." We honked the horn and gave thumbs up.
When the time came, we processed down the aisle with our families and friends supporting us and smiling. We made our vows and shared our love and exchanged rings. And then, as quick as lightning, we were pronounced husband and husband, to the great cheers and applause of everyone in the room.
Then, we shared our first kiss as a married couple.
We left the room and met our guests and took lots of photos of us and everyone at the ceremony. As we waited by the fireplace in the hotel lobby, we were happy to show our wedding bands to those who walked by.
We then headed to the reception where we feasted on Italian food and laughed and celebrated. The staff were excited to have us there. The manager brought us a special appetizer plate. Our guests were giddy with delight as we made the rounds handing out wedding favors of chocolate bars and CDs of romantic music.
Then, it was time to cut our beautiful cake. Written on the top were words that my husband and I believe:
It is love alone that gives worth to all things.
We headed back to the hotel where we spent time with friends and loved ones and drank champagne and then took a swim in the slightly chilly pool while the rain drizzled on us.
During all of that, I occasionally thought of the Prop. 8 supporters and how they were so incredibly wrong to think that my marriage was somehow less valid or a threat to their marriage. I found it funny that they were holding signs in favor of Prop. 8 and also photos of Bush and Cheney and McCain and Palin. In California, I am not sure I would want to hook my cause to that band of clowns.
Of course, I am keenly aware that come tomorrow, my marriage may be declared "invalid" by the voters of California. I hope they won't, but you never know. As Alexander Hamilton once said, "The people is a beast."
Still, I am on a cloud today because I have married the man of my dreams. He brings me great joy and comfort and makes me laugh and makes me smile.
But even if Prop. 8 passes, my marriage will remain valid. My marriage is more than a piece of paper from the State of California. My marriage is something greater than the hate from bigots that lie through their teeth about gay people in order to prove how righteous they are (oh, the damn irony!). My marriage is sanctified by my husband, by me, by God, by my family, by my friends, and by the love we have for one another.
I guess I will never understand the brazen stupidity of those opposed to gay marriage. They believe that by taking away our marriage license they somehow diminish our love for each other, that our union as one is complete or incomplete at the behest of their vote.
No, my union with my partner is forever and is valid and is sanctified.
For it is love, not a license, that gives worth to all things.