I have to admit: I have been depressed all day. Last night I remember being filled to the line with feelings of excitement, joy, and - what was that weird one? Oh yeah, pride in my country.
It all evaporated this morning when I read about the Propositions that passed last night. (I will not bother going into the added disappointments of Bachmann, Tubes, Chambliss, and all the other goons to whom we failed to deliver their comeuppance.) Yes, here in CT we did a kick-ass job, and the best possible person will be our next President. But seeing human beings stripped of their rights by the whim of 51% of their fellow citizens put a whole new perspective on the glory that was yesterday. It left me asking: How far have we really come if California, the supposed National Bastion of Liberalism (I know much of the state is Red, but it has produced a lot of the countries Bluest actions), can grant rights to chickens but actually take them away from people just because it makes them feel icky? I am a hetero vegetarian, but I KNOW something is not right about that.
I couldn't bear listening to NPR talk about the great victory we had won with Obama when so many others had lost so much. So of course I turned to DailyKos. Talk about stages of grief.
At first, everyone was in pain. Disbelief. Kos himself wrote a very moving acknowledgment of how bitter-sweet this election had become in the wake of this tragedy. And then the anger started. The finger pointing began.
Some of what I've read has made me concerned about what I see going on here. I admit that I am a relative newcomer to this site. I haven't contributed much material yet. In the little that I have produced so far, I've been beaten up pretty badly over some of what I've said (many criticisms were well-deserved and I'm not bitter). But this site has meant a lot to me these last few months. I was so motivated by everyone's sense of unity and optimism here that I went out and volunteered with my local Democrats for the first time ever. I'm feeling that spirit of unity being threatened.
Okay, I hope I'm just over-reacting. But I've never seen this kind of finger-pointing here. I hope that this is all out of anger and pain.
A lot of people have been blaming Black and Latino voters based on the exit polls. I just finished reading another diary that looks like the backlash to this blame is beginning. The diarist I read took a tone that was very understanding of people's anger and pain. I fear what will happen if other's don't share this kind of understanding.
For years the Right has kept us down by "Divide and Conquer." If the result of Prop H8 is that we end up pitting ourselves Race vs. Orientation, then the bigots have TRULY won. And a court decision will not be able to help us.
I have read others who take this a step further and blame Obama himself. The argument should be familiar by now: In making such an effort to get out the non-White vote, Obama threw the LGBT community under the bus. I admit, I have always been, and continue to be, deeply bothered by Obama's rejection of same sex marriage. I almost let myself use it as an excuse not to vote for him. And yes, I do think he bears some culpability for not making anything more than a token effort to help the fight against Prop 8, or to denounce the H8ers from using his and Joe Biden's words in their propaganda (although he would then be admitting that he doesn't have faith in those particular words... although I personally wouldn't have minded that!).
But I do not think that what Obama did and what he failed to do make him beyond redemption. I think, based on what I know of the guy, that he MUST understand that his position on same-sex marriage and Prop 8 is weak. I think he made a calculated political move because for whatever reason, he and his campaign thought that supporting full marriage equality was too dangerous. And I'm sure that there would have political consequences to taking the moral high ground here. Would it have cost him the White House? We don't know and we never will. I hate that this move of his came at the expense of the LGBT community. Like I said, it was one of the last reasons I had for not wanting to vote for him. And he should own the consequences.
But to blame him for inspiring people of color to exercise their right to vote and make their voices heard is off-base, to say the least. It is a travesty that they - AND EVERYONE ELSE IN CALIFORNIA - were allowed the opportunity to take someone else's rights away at the ballot box. Attacking that situation is valid, and it should be done. Attacking someone for inspiring millions of people to get up and participate in our Democracy for the first time is going to get us nowhere.
There is plenty of blame to go around for the failure to defeat Prop 8: A disorganized ground game for our side, a more well-planned strategy by our opponents that we underestimated, forcing us into a perpetually defensive position (hmmmm... sound familiar anyone?), a lack of outreach into the communities we are now blaming, too much focus on out-of-state races within California, too much focus on electoral races everywhere, weak or downright unsupportive positions from our major candidates... and yes, the fact that sadly, it is still acceptable on some level to pick on LGBT people, and the fact that there is genuine misunderstanding, contempt, and hate lurking out there on a large scale. Perhaps Obama's feel-good story made us all a little naive to that last factor.
But blaming entire communities who are and have been, in all other spheres, our allies, is downright toxic. This is the kind of stuff that brings Karl Rove to orgasm. Remember, the GOP is demoralized, like the Empire after the Rebels blew up the Death Star. But they are still out there. And they would love nothing more than to see us tear ourselves apart internally before the ink is even dry on Obama's election.
If Obama has shown us anything on this amazing journey, it is that we have to solve these kinds of problems not by attacking, but by reaching out to each other, and from time to time that's going to mean keeping some our deeply held principles in check and talking to people who we REALLY disagree with. It's hard, especially when dealing with an injustice like this one. But I don't remember anyone ever saying that Change would be easy - in fact, quite the opposite. I even struggled with this myself, confronting some of the attitudes I encountered today at the Hispanic social service agency where I work. But I got through today. I had to come to terms with my own pain before I could start working on changing minds.
To truly win this, we have to believe in the best in each other. And we have to believe in the best in our new President who we all fought tooth and nail to put into office. He promised us last night that he would listen to us. So let's hold him to it. Let's make our voices heard that we want DOMA and DADT repealed COMPLETELY. That we want some damn SUPPORT for the appeal process against Prop H8 - which is already under way - and against all discriminatory acts like it, anywhere. That THIS is the newest front in the battle for Civil Rights, and it deserves no less attention than all those that came before.
To everyone in the LGBT community: I cannot pretend to know what you are going through right now. But I will be by your side on this one and every other.
Thank you for reading. Yes we can.