Introducing the new General Motors SUV, the Tongass National Forest.
The Tongass get a wopping nine miles per gallon on the highway in its optional six-cylinder mode. Built from Japanese and Korean components, assembled, and polished, right here in the US of A, the Tongas signifies the way forward for G.M. for the next decades. The Tongass sports a revamped on-board computer satellite system that permits the driver to fall fully asleep for up to four hours in light traffic, and features mid-ride refueling by a portable drone sent by field commanders in Nevada. Eddie Bauer and L.L. Bean will team up to decorate the Tongass, with an optional all-ancient redwood interior, complete with a deep frier, portable toilet, gun rack, and beaver-pelt Landau roof.
And we've saved the best for last! With every new Tongass National Forest, G.M. will donate ten cents to the Sierra Club.
What? D'you mean . . . Oh. Well, sure, we'll look into hybrids and gas power, and so forth. We'll get right on it. May we please have several billion taxpayer dollars in the meantime? ADDENDUM: BASEMENT
Poll below.
Gratified at the responses whatever the line taken, but hey, let's think for a moment.
Do we want a nationalized auto industry? Where will it end? Why do we think we can afford to buy chunks of failing industries in this country without a serious transformative plan? What the fuck is going on?
What about Ford? Or Toys R Us? I'd like Treasury to own some of that, too. What about Boeing? Do we really believe manufacturers of ANYTHING are safe in the coming year? What then is the plan?