Dear Mr. Chappelle,
I am a devoted fan of your work. In conversations with my brothers and my closest friends, I regularly shout things like "WHAAAAAAT!". Whenever I play basketball or watch an NBA game, I always say "Game, blouses" at the end, no matter what the outcome. I have probably referred to myself as "Rick James, bitch"" to my girlfriend more times than I count, regardless of how sick of it she gets.
I am also a young, white, middle-class citizen who voted for Barack Obama, and I couldn't be more thrilled that America just elected its first black President. No doubt you've seen or read about interviews with comedians of all different stripes who are asking, how do we make fun of the first black President without appearing racist? Saturday Night Live's Fred Armisen has done an okay job impersonating Obama, but he sorely lacks the comic power of Will Farrell's George W. Bush and Tina Fey's Sarah Palin.
Mr. Chappelle, I'm pleading with you to come back and show everyone how it's done.
I still think to this day that when Chappelle's Show went off the air, the funniest show in modern American TV history went with it. For America's sake, you have to bring it back.
Perhaps I'm not the best guy to go to about how to turn Obama's presidency into comedy gold, but I have a few suggestions about where to start. Do with them what you will. Accept them, reject them....but please, please, please do something.
***********************
Idea #1: Obama's party at the White House.
After giving his inaugural address in which Obama promises to uphold the Office of the President of the United States with integrity, Obama holds his first White House bash in a ballroom. The party starts off normally, with President Obama meeting and greeting politicians and foreign dignitaries, sipping wine, maybe giving a quick speech about the need for change in Washington....and then the club lights shoot on, Obama throws off his coat, and then busts out on the dance floor. Of course he amazes everybody with his moves (perhaps using some of the same tricks in the viral Obama-McCain dance-off). Everybody gets into it, shouting "Go-Bama! Go-Bama!" Even the white politicians get into it. We then see a shot of that robot-dancing guy dancing next to Colin Powell. Hell, maybe even Colin Powell does the robot.
The scene cuts to the same presidential ballroom where Obama, cackling like Rick James, tapes two 40's to his hands and downs each of them. After a little while of partying and dancing and getting crazy, the house lights go back up and Obama orders everybody except the Secret Service to leave. "Time to go home!" he shouts. He gets escorted to a back room, shuts the door, claps both of his hands twice, the lights dim, and then he pulls out a bag full of weed. Obama and his buddies all gather around the couch and smoke up while two skimpily-dressed women serve them drinks, with the President hollering, "Change has come to Washington, bitches!"
Idea #2: A press conference
The next morning after the party, we see the same back room littered with junk food, clothes, and wine bottles. President Obama, his posse, and the waitresses all lying around the floor and the couch. First Lady Michelle barges through the door and throws cold water on a baked, hung-over President Obama and yells at him to get up and get dressed. She spots lipstick on his shirt. "What the f*** is this?!" she shouts, "Was Oprah here last night?!" The President denies it coolly, saying, "Baby, you know she and I ain't done nothing." Michelle then berates him on being late for his press conference and throws his coat on. He rubs his forehead while he gets rushed out the door, saying, "Press conference? Why can't we just get the Vice President to do it? He's a white boy, he could pass off as President."
The scene cuts to the press conference where Obama, still disheveled and cranky, finishes his short speech on fixing America's economy and setting capital gains taxes. Reporters then start throwing a wave of questions his way, about Iraq and correcting the mistakes of the Bush Administration, which he doesn't feel like answering because he's too tired. A reporter asks him about his global warming policies, to which he complains that he can't get to fighting global warming because his staff just finished putting hydraulics and "bitchin' rims" on Air Force One.
Reporter Chuck Taylor then asks the President about his association with Reverend Wright and William Ayers, addressing him as President Hussein Obama. Obama cuts him off, saying "You ain't touchin' that, mother f*****! I'm the President! I've already addressed that a thousand times!" Chuck Taylor then gets thrown out by the Secret Service. Reverend Wright then stands up to ask a question. Obama smiles and says, "Wassup, man?" Reverend Wright then asks, "How will you address the needs of the black community in America?" Obama thinks for a minute, and then comes to a decision. "My first executive order as President is to give reparations for slavery!" The press then stands up, murmuring loudly and taking pictures of Obama as he leaves (with the robot-dancing guy standing in the throng of reporters, doing the robot). Chuck Taylor is seen getting his ass kicked outside by the Secret Service. This all leads to....
Idea #3: Reparations
You've already done this skit, of course. But it's an opportunity to re-tool the sketch and maybe show President Obama helping black Americans riot in the street while shouting, "We're all rich, biatch!"
UPDATE: Idea #4: The Presidential racial draft
I think it speaks for itself. Check out the video of the original racial draft below, and I think there's plenty of room to get Obama in this. For example, the black delegation drafts Obama, followed by the whites trying to trade for him, followed by the Islamic population getting closed out of trade talks, etc.
***********************
Mr. Chappelle, I will gladly accept Obama being boring for comedians, to the extent that President Obama would be, well, competent, unlike his predecessor. But I urge you, on behalf of all Americans, get back together with your writers and get back on TV. You'll have plenty of time (at least 4 years, maybe 8) to make Obama funny. But please do it. After the last 8 years, I want to laugh again at our President without feeling like our country is getting screwed by him at the same time. And I have every bit of confidence that both you and President Obama can do it right.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
SuperBowlXX