I just cant get over the fact that 18 veterans in this country are going to kill themselves today. I wish I could have even a minute with every single one of them and tell them that there is always hope, that although it seems there is no other way to fill that emptiness there is always another way to settle the pain and agony of hopelessness. I wish I could explain how much they are needed by those close to them and that there is help, there are people who care, people they don't even know who would do anything they could to help them because they believe that being part of a society is more than just selfishness, being part of a society is putting yourself out sometimes for the good of others without conditions or payment.
I learned this weekend that 18 veterans are dieing of suicide every day, I was shocked and could not comprehend that reality and found myself browsing the internet to find some concrete evidence of this. Surely, this cant be true was my immediate thought until I came across the evidence throughout blogs and the media. CBS investigated this claim back in April of this year yet I dont recall hearing anything about it. I guess it doesn't matter that the VA was trying to hide this fact because the media decided that they are not going to cover it anyways? WTF is going on and why is it O.K. that 18 veterans are killing themselves everyday?
These are the men and women that served our country with honor throughout the years of wars and for some reason they are not getting the mental health help that they deserve. The VA has somehow decided that it is justified because 18 veterans per day out of 25 million is not considered an epidemic and others would mention that these are not just soldiers that are coming back from Iraq. I dont give a fuck where they fought and I cant find the justification of losing one veteran who happens to be a human being that fought for our country and is now finding themselves in the darkest of places. The places that many people do not ever find themselves in because they do not struggle with PTSD, Anxiety disorders, or Depression to name a few. I know these dark places and have struggled day in and day out just to get buy at times.
I am not a veteran but a concerned American who suffers from PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. This is personal for me, I know hopeless and I realize what it is when your mind convinces you that your family, wife, children and friends would be better off without you in this world. I know what its like to feel hollow and without worth. I have also been to the edge and taken that step hoping that I would never return and the dark relief that I felt at the time. I remember waking in the Psych ward of Dartmouth and the feeling of guilt and shame but I also realize how lucky I truly am, I am grateful for the opportunity to climb out of the pit of despair and work towards health, hope and worth.
My story is one that ends up happy for myself and the people within my life but I also realize that 18 people today will not end up as lucky as myself, they will seal the deal and as there family tries to figure out why, the rest of the world will just keep on going. The VA will try to sweep it under the rug because they are failing at helping those veterans that have reached the tipping point. Because the media has somehow decided that Sarah Palin's stupid fucking interview with Wolf Blitzer is more important.
We must do whatever we can to help people with disabilities because we are part of this society. In a society people help each other through hard times, not because we have to but because we want to.
18 veterans are going to commit suicide today and it rips me apart inside because some, maybe all of them could have been saved. I personally would have done everything I could for them to make them realize that although many people don't care, there are many of us that do.
Update: Thank you all for the links, comments and local stories regarding this issue. I am hopeful that there is enough information out there leading people to the help they need before it's too late. And thank you to, ItsJessMe for giving me the honor of having a rescued diary.