Many of us were disappointed that Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin was not permitted to address the country at concession time. This was especially upsetting to Governor Palin. She had prepared a few words for the occaision but the McCain staff refused to let her speak.
Fortunately, I have a copy of the text of that speech. Below please find the words of wisdom from Sarah Palin we might have heard on election night.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen from the real America.
Ya know, I'll just bet alot of you out there are waiting to see me say congratulations to Mr. "Pals around with terrorists" and his boring running mate. But, as you all know, I am a maverick, so I'm not going to do some corny "congratulations" thing.
I told McCain and his catty little aids if we wanted to win this thing we needed to steel it, just like W. All we had to do was fix some of them voting machines in those key states and then just exclude a bunch of black voters from the roles and we would have won easy.
But did they listen to me? Noooo.
Now I'll never get to run the Senate. Now I have to go back to Alaska and eat them mooseburgers. I hate Mooseburgers. You know why you don't eat mooseburgers? Because they suck. Just like everything in Alaska sucks.
Look at me. I'm a babe. If I lived in New York or California I could have easily slept my way to the top of something. In Alaska the best I can do is be Governor.
Now I know how Hillary felt. This here country just is not ready to elect anyone who isn't a white male. Unless he's black.
Well, you will all be sorry. The next time I see Putin flying over Alaska I am not even going to tell anyone. And from now on if the people of this country want to go to Alaska, they are going to pay. No more free rides. No more waltzin' in just like anyone who lives there. And no more oil either. Just for not electing me, you can't have any of that oil in Anwar!
In closing, I just want to say that now that I am the head of this party, I will be the Republican Party candidate for president in 2012. Next time, its for keeps!
Aint I somethin!?