In the spirit of Barack Obama's example of uniting the country in love and caring for our fellow man, I hereby declare my love of Joseph Isadore Lieberman!
From now on, I plan on smothering Joe with love! Please join with me in highlighting Joe's many positive traits! Let him know that we are following Barack Obama's example and we are ready to love our former enemy, Joe Lieberman!
What could be a better way to begin an Obama administration than turning over a new leaf after the bitterness and ugliness of the past eight years of BushCheneyism?
Follow me below to see my first step toward loving Joe!
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I went to Joe's Senate Home Page and immediately thought to myself, "I love this man!"
Because what is there not to love about Joe Lieberman?
Then I clicked through to his "Contact Me" page and thought, "I need to tell Joe just how much I love him!"
But when I looked at the options in the dropdown menu at the bottom of the page, I didn't see a choice labeled, "Tell Joe how much you love him!" Instead, the choices were (my observations in italics):
- Comment on an issue (When would I ever disagree with Joe on an issue?)
- Help with a govt agency (Hey, Joe, I want to help out with Homeland Security!)
- Request a greeting (Imagine having Joe record your voicemail greeting at home or at work, or, even better, both!)
- Request a flag (Does the Connecticut for Lieberman party have a flag or even a banner?)
- Apply for internship (Hey, a guy can dream, can't he?)
- Apply for academy nomination (Oh my god! Nominate Joe for an Oscar!)
- Request a tour (If Joe could take me to the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum next time I'm in D.C., I'd be the happiest guy in the world!)
Okay, so I chose "Comment on an issue." And this is the missive of love I sent to Joe:
Dear Joe,
Welcome back! Like the biblical tale of the prodigal son, you have returned to the family, a little worse for wear, but still loved and welcomed in your real home, the Democratic Party!
Don't get me wrong, Joe. I know you're the proud standard bearer of the Connecticut for Lieberman party (okay, you're the party's only member), but, still, you and I know that underneath all that hateful rhetoric you spouted during the presidential run, you're really a Democrat! So welcome back!
Sure, many Democrats would call you a "slimy, sleazy, back-stabbing shitweasel," but not me! I am following the example set by Barack Obama, a man who had every right to call you a "scum-sucking, lowlife douchenozzle," but, instead, offered his open hand -- and not a closed-fist-to-the-beak you so rightly deserved.
I am with Barack on this!
You will not hear me utter such commonly heard epithets as "Lieberman is a cowardly bucket of spit," or "F*** Lieberman!" That would not be in keeping with the spirit of our newly-elected leader! From here on out, I will defend you against any Democrat who dares utter a statement like, "Joe Lieberman sucks donkey schlong!"
We're all on the same team!
Welcome home, Joe!
Your friend and fellow Democrat,
- Bob Johnson
Join me, won't you, in welcoming Joe, our prodigal son, back to the fold!