Corruption is so easy these days. Ted Stevens was heard on tape saying not to worry about any possible punishment for taking gifts from companies.
In my own little Utopia, there will be a new sentence enhancement for every individual who comes before the media -- whatever version -- and claims innocence, only later to be found guilty of at least 80 percent of the charges filed.
I don't know about you, but I am really sick and tired of anyone who, after being charged with crimes, come before the media and proclaim their innocence and future exoneration.
Think Ted Stevens, Marion Jones, Jack Abramhoff, Randy Cunningham, Robert Ney, Susan Smith, just to name a few.
Criminal Activity. So my thoughts for new sentencing guidelines are as follows:
- If you come out via any media source and proclaim your innocence -- or have a surrogate do it for you -- and you are ultimately found guilty of at least 80% of the filed charges, then for each time you appeared before the media (all forms) and lied, one additional year is added to whatever sentence imposed by the court. If it's probation, that term is extended in a like manner.
- If you are a citizen-elected official of ANYTHING -- dog catcher, supervisor, Congressman, Senator -- and you are found guilty of any crime involving your official duties, you automatically lose all rights to pensions, health insurance, whatever. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. I am sick and tired of criminals crying in front of the cameras, and then slinking away with a full pension and a slap on the wrist for crimes involving the very office and Constitution they are sworn to uphold. Moral turpitude of the first order.
Now I'm not suggesting that you can't speak to anyone with a camera and microphone. Feel free to say "no comment" as many times as you like and my additional penalty won't apply. Thus, there's no claim that your First Amendment rights have been infringed. You just can't bullshit us any longer. And a "no comment" response does not in any way imply guilt or innocence.
- Additionally, if you are an elected official and found guilty of any crime, you are IMMEDIATELY removed from office on the day the verdict is rendered. No further waiting until appeals are filed or sentencing is handed down. In the legal field in most states, you are automatically suspended from the Bar on a finding of guilt, with further proceedings to follow. The penalties should be the HARSHEST for those who we have bestowed our trust in.
These penalties do not preclude you from seeking reimbursement of any lost benefit if your conviction is ultimately overturned on appeal.
Bail-out Largess. If you come before the government on any level to seek monetary relief, then from that day forward:
- Your annual salary can be no larger than that of the President of the United States. All bonuses to employees immediately cease. Golden parachutes are eliminated.
- A Special Master will be appointed by the government to monitor your business practices. Obviously, if you were doing the job you were being paid to do, you wouldn't be in the condition you are now -- regardless of market conditions. If you don't like the restrictions, feel free to leave and seek another job in the ever-tightening job market. I am sure there are many openings for such qualified individuals.
- You and all employees immediately start flying coach when conducting company business. No more charter flights or private jets.
- No board member, executive or employee of your company shall be permitted to attend any boondoggle or seminar without the prior express, written permission of the Special Master.
Failure to comply with any provision herein would be punishable by a new set of federal laws regarding bail-outs.
In my own little Utopia......