Now, I don't want to get all Plumber-y on you people and talk all authoritatively about something I have no clue about, but I have a giant, giant ball of rage stuck in my gut and inflating right now, and I need to belch it out on y'all.
As I write this it is mid-afternoon, and I just saw the news that Congress is apparently planning on giving some $25 billion in loans to the big 3. Sort of a breath of relief, but that it took the report of over half a million Americans losing their jobs in the last MONTH to get them to take action, instead of playing with the CEOs like a cat with a dead mouse disgusts me.
Before these hearings, has there been a bigger convention of douchebags in recent American history (please, no RNC jokes)?
Now, I expect a CEO of a big corporation to be an asshole pretty much as a rule, although there are exceptions. Yes, the big guys of the Big 3 are arrogant dicks that should be out on the streets, and if they had gotten just 34 billion or whatever they wanted in handouts, they would probably have just snorted it off a hooker's ass and laid off half their workforce anyway.
But does that mean it's okay for the Senators listening to their pleas to spend half of the time sneering and taunting at them? They mocked them for flying private jets down. Yes, this is douchey, but you mean to tell me that all of those jackasses at Wall Street that helped make this mess flew down in coach? Please. Then after being sent home and told to come back with, as Michael Moore put it, a homework essay titled "Why you should give me $34 billion," they drove down in hybrids. This got them more snarky remarks from the Senate, including "I wonder if they're going to drive HOME." Oooh, ice burn there, Senator Assclown. Is this really helping anyone accomplish anything?
Yes, these guys are douches. But are they really any bigger douches than, say, Citibank, who after getting a sarcasm-free taxpayer bailout, is returning the favor by upping the APR on millions of their cardholders by over TEN POINTS?
What is wrong with these people? We keep throwing cash at these jerkwad bankers and stockbrokers and insurance agents who are using taxpayer money to layoff, evict, and deny credit to those same taxpayers. But when we have 3 million plus jobs on the line, it's time for our government to play internet tough guy suddenly. Pathetic.
Yes, these guys are douches. But laying off millions of Americans out of spite for their bosses does nothing but drag THE ENTIRE WORLD ECONOMY down further.
Now, I majored in Asian studies, so western Civics is sadly not my strong spot, but this whole deal reminded me of Chinese philosopher Mencius (student of the teachings of Confucius, who once said "man who stand on toilet is high on pot")and his baby-in-the-well story. According to Mencius, human nature is intrinsically good (Citibank did not exist in Shangdong province 2300 years ago to prove Mencius wrong).
According to Mencius, any normal human being, if they saw a baby about to fall into a well, no matter if they had never saw the kid in their life, would go and try to catch the baby before it fell, not caring about or even thinking of what was in it for them.
The way Congress has played these last few weeks out, if the baby's father was a douchebag, they would help shove the baby off the edge and giggle when they heard the splash.
In conclusion, Bonsaius Superstarius believes we should just buy the Big 3's stock out, fire these CEOs that apparently so enrage our high-and-mighty representatives, and get their employees (along with any other unemployed Americans we can bring in) started making stuff we can use to fix up our infrastructure and get non-shitty cars on the street. Or we could just push everybody involved in this fiasco down a well (where nearly 20 percent of the taxpayers have already fallen before them).