This is a short diary which contains no research and little forethought. I see diaries hit the recommend list every now and then which only exist to beg people not to write diaries like this, for a variety of legitimate reasons, but alas I cannot help myself. I see Rick Warren's name and face everywhere and I get nauseous. Please do not recommend. See my reasoning for doing this below the jump.
I find it thoroughly repulsive that gluttonous pied pipers of spirituality fancy themselves as Universal Penis Regulators. Rick Warren thinks his values system ought to determine the nature and behavior of my penis, your penis, or perhaps your husband's penis, your son's, your father's, or brother's. He must be stopped.
I know, I know, Rick Warren doesn't just want to control the behavior of penises. He also seeks to control the actions of every uterus and vagina on planet Earth. He thinks his specific interpretation of The Lord of the Rin-- I mean the Bible, imbues him with magical wisdom which enables him to dictate the sex life of all the women of Earth as well as the men. That's totally gross, but I'm more determined with me right now. And the rights granted to my penis by the framers of our Constitution.
Rick Warren is a disgusting pig. Out of all the Wizards summoned to hokus pokus over the ceremony welcoming in our new President, why does it have to be a particularly fat and disgusting authoritarian wizard who thinks he knows better than me how to regulate my penis? I'm sick of these perverts being in public life in general.
I really hope Obama doesn't nominate him to his cabinet as the new Secretary of Cock.
I wrote this diary because I wanted people across the world to see "Rick Warren: Penis Regulator" make its way down the right side of the page today. The harsh light of truth needs to be shined on these freaks. Rick Warren is not a respectable man. He seeks to control your penis.
Why can't a single journalist ask a conservative preacher the following: "Why are you trying to regulate other men's penises? Are you that bored with yours?"
If the crazy general from Dr. Strangelove thought that the Church sought to put chemicals in the water to control his precious bodily fluids, instead of the Commies, would he have been that far off the mark?
And Rick Warren, if you're somehow reading this, heed my advice: Clean up your lifestyle. Eat more healthfully and get yourself in the gym. Maybe accompany Barack to the gym one day so he can teach you his fitness regimen. We don't need you driving up our health costs when you go in for your diabetes and triple by-pass. Have you tried Yoga? We don't need you setting a fat example for our children. And Jesus, Rick! There are children starving across the world! Take that chicken wing out of your mouth and give it to somebody who actually needs it! And after you start taking better care of yourself, you still need to stop thinking about my dick. You have no idea how creepy you come across to people who don't buy into your fairy tales.