Shortly after I moved into my house, I found out that Bill In Portland Maine is living across the street from me.
Actually, no, it's not him, exactly. Unless Portland, Maine is a code word for Dearborn, Michigan. It's just a quiet, low-key, long-term gay couple living on my street. They are very responsible homeowners, they have by far the nicest yard on the street, and they are always the first to get their leaves out for the city yard waste pickup. They seem to have very good parties around the holidays, but nothing ever gets out of control. They always have a great creepy Halloween display that features what my wife calls "undead Simon Le Bon." They're in their late 30s, maybe early 40s.
They are not my friends. I have never had them over for drinks and dinner. In fact, I have never talked to them. It's just the kind of guy I am. I have plenty of neighbors with whom I have never had a conversation. If I were to be honest with myself, I would have to say that I don't have any gay friends. In that regard, Rick Warren is actually a better man than me, because he says he's got gay friends. So I suppose you could say that I was a homophobe, or that I have some kind of issue with gay people.
But I don't. In fact, I believe in full marriage rights (and rites) for all gay people. More devoted love between people in the world can't possibly be a bad thing. When the issue came up last election cycle in Michigan, I fought hard against the ballot measure that erased even domestic partnerships and benefits for same-sex couples, and we lost, badly.
Maybe I'm too strident on this, but I can't see a reason in the world for keeping same-sex couples from getting married, aside from hatred. If you say it will eventually lead to plural marriage, I say plural marriage is already illegal, and it has nothing to do with gay couples getting married. If you say it will eventually lead to marriage between humans and non-humans, I would say that if you care that much, you should probably consider advocating a law that says something about that. If you say it will degrade heterosexual married couples, I would say "how?" If you say it's against your religion, I would say "it's not against mine, so between us, let's err on the side of more rights for people." If you say that it would force all clergy to sanction gay marriages, I would say "absolute nonsense." If you ask me what harm there is in denying gays the right to marry, I'd say, "lots. Many states, mine included, now make any kind of legal or employment benefit for same-sex partners illegal. Many states deny gay couples the right to adopt children."
And if you're Rick Warren, I'd say this: You don't need to have any gay friends or interact with any gay people on a superficial level in order to support their basic human rights. So Pastor, please have your gay friends and invite them over for dinner, because there is nothing wrong with any of that. Just please stop pretending that this does anything at all to protect them from the overwhelming amount of hatred and discrimination they wake up to every day: the kind of discrimination that you are working to codify into law.