What were Collin Farell, Breendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes and the luminous Thekla Reuten doing in Bruges, Belgium last year?
Filming a damned fine black comedy (if that's your sort of thing) by rookie film-maker Martin McDonagh.
A black comedy is one "that treats of morbid, tragic, gloomy, or grotesque situations as a major element of the plot."
Sheesh, the way the world is turning that might soon be the only kind made.
The plot entangles seasoned hitman Ken (Gleeson) in sponsoring the debut of of tyro-killer Ray (Farrell) in his first hit (on a priest) during which something goes predictably and horribly wrong.
The right guy dies and an innocent is collateral damage.
Their handler, Harry Waters (Fiennes), orders them to go to ground in Bruges, Belgium.
And that's where the murky hilarity begins.
As Ray describes it in voiceover as the film opens..
After I killed him I dropped the gun into his hands, washed the residue of the blood off 'me hands in the bathroom of a Burger King and walked home to await instructions. Shortly thereafter the instructions came through - get the fuck out of London youse dumb-fucks - get to Bruges.
I don't even know where Bruges fuckin' is.
It's in Belgium
And so it goes when you start shooting, the bad guy takes a tumble, sure, but often peeps who have nothing to do with your hit, hatred, rage, vendetta or whatever get taken out too.
Finnes seems to understand this at one point during the film when he is trying to buy a gat in Belgium. When offered an Uzi he says..
"What the fuck am I going to do with that? Take out a dozen ten-year- olds in a drive by? Give me a normal gun for normal people."
A normal gun for normal people.
The above is just a small example of the complexity of Tony-nominated playwright McDonagh's dark humor.
By normal does Finnes mean himself or his victim?
But Finnes has little time for complexities, he has left his family in England during Christmas to travel to Bruges to kill Ken who refuses to kill Ray who had accidentally killed that "innocent little boy."
Earlier, Ken (at this point unaware of the purpose of their visit) had taken a liking to Bruges immediately, taking advantage of their two week banishment to drag Ray along on a cultural tour de force of the medieval city - quietly, tourist like, taking in its charming canals, plazas and churches.
Ray pronounces it a "shithole" and wants to spend more time in the pub.
Nothing is to the liking of Ray in Bruges, not even the radiant and roundly pregnant hotelier Thekla Reuten, until he views Hieronymus Bosch's "The Last Judgement" in a museum.
Screwing up his eyes to view the grotesqueries he announces to Ken...
Well this one's quite nice, then, I mean the others are shit but I like this one.
The Bosch offers an opportunity for the two killers to discuss theology.
Ray eventually finds something else to like in Bruges, a bit acting midget Jimmy (Jordan Prentice) and Jimmy's lovely cocaine dealing co-star (the listless Clémence Poésy as Chole).
Ray's quickly on top of Chole, much to the chagrin of her "pouf" skinhead ex-boyfriend Eirik (Jérémie Renier). Who learns quickly not to pull a knife on a hitman.
But Ray is soon put off by Jimmy who the next day neglects to return his greeting in the street.
"It's O.K., Chole explains, "He was on a horse tranquilizer I sold him."
Jesus, even the midgets have to take drugs to stick in Burges!" Ray exclaims.
Pehaps the most enjoyable moment of the movie comes when Ray and Chole are out to dinner. Chole adjurns to the ladies' and the diners at the next table start kvetching about Chole's smoking.
"Is that what you said to the Vietnamese?" Ray yells after he starts arguing with the man.
Ray then cold-cocks the man knocking him to the floor and yells down at him.... "That's for John Lennon you Yankee fucking' cunt!"
Turns out the couple are Canadian.
On this week-end, as the Israelis and Hamas make war and the wrong people are getting hit In Burges was the perfect bookend movie.
Although there is little to laugh about in Gaza, a brilliant young film-maker like Martin McDonagh can tip you to the fact that man, though inestimably stupid, manages to hang around, and even laugh...at and in spite of himself.