The following was inspired when I was writing my annual note to friends and family.
Before this old year passes, I wanted to wish each of you a happy New Year!
Personally the year always seems to zoom by especially as I have gotten older. I can only distinguish years by my children and now by my grandchild. They are all like rings on my tree. These annual letters are always my opportunity to philosophize, so here I go:
I've learned:
As I've gotten older to make an effort to view successes and failures more like the famous Rudyard Kipling poem where you treat victory and defeat the same. I try giving neither too much weight. In my younger years I rose and fell on each one, but now I see how wrong headed this was. I realize now that I learned more from the stumbling blocks. Some even brought me to my knees, which was often a place I needed to be to change or be open to an opportunity.
I've learned:
I can't change or control other people. Lord knows I have tried to with husband and children. Here's a simple example, my husband may never be as neat as I want him to be so I can either be crazy or change my attitude. Obviously there are more complex examples which I leave to your imagination. The only thing I can control is me and how I view my life and the world around me.
I've learned:
I have to forgive myself first, before I can forgive others. When I look back at decisions I made as a daughter/wife/ mother/ sister/friend. I see mistakes. I realize that these weren't intentional. I made my best judgment at the time. It is tough to forgive yourself.
I've learned:
When I am not acting loving, I am afraid of something.
I've learned:
That everything is cyclical. When I was young I saw a road ahead that was endless. I felt a certain powerlessness. Things happened to me and I couldn't always see my place. I was fearful. Today, I have a different view. I see that things come together for a reason. I may not know that reason at the time but clarity does come.... and it goes...to return again. I've learned to be patient and wait for it....
Okay, okay I'm finished for another year.... ...I wish you JOY in 2009 that is rooted and won't be affected by happy or sad times but will keep you grounded and flowering the whole year.