1.) Bash Ralph Nader.
Uh-huh, yep, this'll do it. Actually, no it won't. Grow up, people. He didn't hand George W. Bush the 2000 election. The blame for that rests with the following assholes: Katherine Harris; ChoicePoint DBT; Jeb Bush; John Ellis -- a cousin of the shrub -- and his buddies over at Fox Noise Channel; Karl Rove; and the five, worthless little shits who violated the Constitution in making their ruling to stop the recount of Florida votes (which most newspapers grudgingly acknowledged later would have gone in Al Gore's favor). There were other, smaller peons involved, to be sure. But they're small potatoes next to the filth I just mentioned.
The reason continually bashing Nader is pointless is twofold. First, as I pointed out above he didn't take votes away from Al Gore. Had Nader not been on the ballot, chances are the vast majority of his supporters would have stayed home or left the space reserved for presidential candidates blank. Democrats do not own Progressive votes. I know it's almost impossible, if not completely impossible, for you to accept. But it's true. You act like you're entitled to our votes, but you do little or nothing to actually earn them.
Second, when you continually harp on Ralph Nader instead of moving on and learning from your mistakes, it shows Progressives that you can't accept responsibility for your own roles in turning us away. Reasonable people, upon losing an important contest, take the time until the next one to reflect upon what mistakes they might have made, learn from them, and take care to avoid repeating those errors. But not, apparently, far too many Democrats. In short, the more time and energy you waste bitching and complaining and lying about Ralph Nader, the more you waste trying to keep him off the ballot, the less you have for doing other things -- like trying to actually sell your candidate.
So enough already. Nader stopped being relevant years ago. He got even fewer votes in 2004 than he did in 2000. He didn't even get his party's nomination that year. Leave the man alone.
2.) Act like you're entitled to our votes.
Yes, please, shit on us after losing every election, and then come around the next cycle demanding our votes...NOT! This is what really gets me. You think you own our votes, never once considering that you might need to actually earn them. Why? Do you really think we'll buy that crap, "who else are you going to vote for, a Republican?" Trying to sell your candidates as the not-quite-as-bad politician isn't exactly the way to win over Progressives. Because, silly us, we want a candidate who's actually good, not one who's simply less of an asshole than his Republican opponent. We bought that line in '04, and look where it got us. Another four years of war; more poverty; an attack on Social Security that failed only because it's the one and only thing Democrats in Congress will fight for as a unified political party; a weakling who stood there like a coward and not only let his opponent tear his military record to pieces but a few years later stood by and did nothing as a college student was assaulted, tortured, falsely arrested, and made to sign a bogus confession and apology -- all for the "crime" of asking said wimp a couple of paranoid questions. And what has that candidate done for us since 2004?
No no no, you want us to vote for your candidate? You'd better give us more than, "he's not a Republican." We've heard that before, and we've seen it doesn't mean anything. We want a Democrat we can get behind, someone who will actually stand up and fight for us, who will represent us and tell the truths the corporate whores and wimps are afraid to utter for fear of being labeled liberals (as though to be a liberal, a progressive, is somehow a bad thing). We want someone with a proven record of fighting for us. Not some Johnny-come-lately, not some faker who makes a pretty speech but spends far too much time cozying up to the very assholes who've destroyed this country, and certainly not some DLCer with a proven record of selling us and our beloved country down the river.
THAT'S who we want. And if you're going to insist on shoving your candidates down our throats, you'd better be able to sell them on their own merits.
3.) Talk about "pragmatism".
Oh, this one's my favorite. I've read them before. Comments by people who claim to be progressive, but when push comes to shove they're the first ones to sell out their principles by voting for candidates they normally wouldn't give two tugs of a dead dog's cock about. Look, if you genuinely believe in the candidate you're voting for, great. You've got our respect for voting your beliefs. But don't you think -- ever -- that by proclaiming your supposed progressive values and then turning around and telling us to cast our ballots for candidates who repel us, you're being ridiculously inconsistent? No, of course you don't. That would entail facing some unpleasant truths you're absolutely terrified of so much as acknowledging.
When you engage in such contradictory logic and hypocritical behavior, what that tells Progressives is that you really don't have our interests at heart. You're just so desperate for a win -- any win -- that you can't see where you're going wrong. You want us to vote for candidates you don't even really believe in. Let that sink in for a moment. Oh, sure, you tell yourself that your rock star candidate is awesome -- a real inspiring kind of person. That he or she is the one who'll take the GOP to town and come out on top this time. Just like the last candidate we put up. Oh, wait a minute, the last guy we put up lost, without even putting up a real fight. But this time it'll be different!
Uh-huh, yeah, right. But can you actually answer questions about policy?
"Policy," you ask? "What do you mean?"
"I mean, what does your candidate expect to accomplish on health care?"
"Well," you reply, unsure of yourself now. "He'll bring us universal health care!"
"How?"
You stare at us, blankly. "Well, if you go to his web site..."
"We don't have Internet. And besides, we want to hear it from you. How does your candidate expect to get us universal health care?"
You start backing away now, slowly, inching your way to safety, but still more or less in one place. You're ready to bolt, but you've got a candidate to sell. You're conflicted, and we're standing in the doorway, waiting for an answer. You search frantically within your memory for some snippet of memory, some bit you heard in one of your candidate's fine speeches.
"Well," you finally manage to sputter out, "he'll get everyone to the table, and..."
"Everyone? Who's everyone? Does that include us?"
"Why yes, of course!"
"And what about the health care industry? They get a seat at this table of yours, too?"
"Yes..."
"Why?"
"Why not? They're going to be affected by health care reform, too."
"So were we. Badly. And we never got a seat at any table. Our cousin sliced up his arm pretty bad last week. He couldn't afford to go to the emergency room, so he had to sew up his own arm, throw some disinfectant on it, and hope he doesn't get gangrene. Why should the same assholes who make it too expensive for our cousin to get medical care get a seat at this table of yours, when we weren't allowed?"
Your flight-or-fight response is starting to win out. You don't know how to answer. But you try one last time, stammering out, "well, they'll be affected too..."
"You said that already."
"I know, but..."
"Look, our dinner's getting cold, and so are we. Give us one good reason why we should vote for your candidate. Just one. And none of that table crap."
"Well, he's not Republican. You want the Republican to get in?
"No," we tell you, "and your candidate not being a registered Republican doesn't mean shit. Bill Clinton wasn't a Republican either, but he sure shipped our jobs overseas like one. Look, we've already made up our minds who to vote for. It ain't your guy. Why don't you go brush up on him before you hit the next house? That way you don't look like a deer in the headlights when they ask you questions."
And we shut the door in your faces. You walk away, cursing us, but why? Not because you couldn't sell your candidate, because you don't even really know what he's about. But because we didn't nod our heads and say, "yes, of course we'll vote for your guy! Anybody but Bush!" Except that didn't work out last time around, and it sure as hell isn't going to work this year.
Because you don't know your candidate, and because you don't believe in him. If you can't even be bothered to know your candidate, if you can't muster up enough enthusiasm for him (or her), then what the fuck are you doing going door to door for the schmuck? Find someone you actually believe in. If that means Dennis Kucinich or Mike Gravel -- even though you don't think he stands a chance, then campaign for Kucinich or Gravel. If Edwards is your man, pimp yourself out for him (apologies to David Shuster...well, not really). Yeah, people will tell you they don't have a chance. According to whom? The same sorry excuses for "experts" who are scared shitless of real Progressives, to the point where they actively exclude them from their media narrative -- just so voters never get a chance to know they're in the race. "Electability" only counts at the polling booth. The guy who wins is the "electable" candidate. Not the asshole the media says is "electable". John Kerry was called that, but he wasn't elected, was he?
Do you want to know a secret, something you'll never hear from the corporate-owned media? Something Tony Benn in the clip below so eloquently pointed out in Michael Moore's SiCKO?
Did you watch the clip in its entirety? Did you hear the secret? Did you listen? Did you learn? The secret, as you may have heard, is this: if the Democratic Party were to actually ignore the media narratives, and vote for the candidates we really and truly know represent our values, don't you think we'd have the candidates we want, the candidates who can actually win against Republicans? Why would you throw your vote away on someone you don't believe in? How can you ask us with a straight face to do likewise? Are you really so frightened of losing the scraps we're tossed that you'll vote how the powerful tell you to vote?
Fuck them, and fuck you for continuing to believe their bullshit. Why would you listen to that anyway? The powerful are scared of you. They're afraid that some day you'll reach the breaking point and rise up in a wave of electoral anger such as they haven't seen in nearly eighty years. They got a taste of that anger in '06, and they're hellbent on making sure it doesn't happen. So they saddled us with Clinton and Obama, two corporate shills who don't represent us. Are you or are you not tired of being played for saps?
But you'll go ahead and tell us to vote against our beliefs and interests, all for the sake of false pragmatism. And you wonder why we doubt your sincerity.
4.) Call us "purists" and shit all over us.
Yeah, that's the ticket. Call us "purists" and accuse us of costing you elections, when your demands to back your weakling candidates fall on deaf ears. That'll do it. That'll get you our votes.
No, actually, it won't. What it will do is drive us to vote for a write-in Democrat, or a Democrat who was in but dropped out, or vote third party, or just not bother voting at all. You call us "purists" as though it is somehow a bad thing to stay true to one's principles, to never sell out. You hate us because we're everything you're not. You look down on us and complain that no matter how progressive you say you are, we're always better, more principled, more right than you are. We've got news for you. We are more principled. We are better. We are more progressive. You merely pretend to be.
And that's what really burns you. The truth that eats away at you and causes you to shun those you know deep down are vital for winning elections. We never sold out, never compromised, never gave up fighting for what we believe in, and you did. We remained true to ourselves, and you can't face the fact that no matter how much you may protest, in the end you always give in to the "pragmatists" who tell you that being true is bad and doesn't win elections.
You go apeshit over Ralph Nader because he points out a truth you can't accept: that given the choice between Coke Classic and New Coke, people will choose Coke Classic every time. Not because they genuinely believe that Coke Classic is better for them, but because Classic doesn't pretend to be something it's not. Likewise, voters know what they're getting when they are saddled with Republicans. Assholes, yeah, but assholes who aren't ashamed of what they stand for and will fight tooth and nail to get what they want. Whatever you may think of Ralph Nader, or Greens, or Progressive Democrats, we stand for something more than you do.
Voting for the same corporate-approved candidates time and again, voting for the DLC and its clones in the Obama camp, haven't gotten you the electoral victories you're so desperate to achieve. And they never shall. If you're as progressive as you claim to be, then stand with us. Stop dumping all over us and for the love of God, stop whining and blaming us for your losses when we turn away. If you'd be true to that progressive label you flaunt at us as though it's supposed to mean something -- if you'd put your time, money and energy where your mouths are and stand with us, you'll find yourselves pleasantly surprised with the results. The White House is already lost to us no matter who wins in November, but it's not too late to take back Congress from the Republicans and capitulating Democrats who've betrayed us over and over and over.
Remember, you shit on us, we'll walk away and leave you to rot where you belong. We don't need you; you need us. And we all know it. You work with us, you embrace your stated beliefs and fight on our side, we'll be the greatest allies -- and friends -- you'll ever have. It's up to you if you want to be relevant.
P.S.
You may troll-rate this entry, but it's written and you've read it (at least in part), and if you've made it this far you've more guts than I gave you credit for. You may not be someone to whom the above rant applies. If you're not, great. Recommend this and help spread the message. Put it in your own words, if you think this too harsh. Or not. Sometimes people need to be spoken to like this, if it wakes them up. For those of you to whom the above most certainly applies -- and if you're good and pissed by this, you sure as hell are and you deserve every word of it -- take a good, long hard look within yourself and start with the self-reflection. I am throwing down the gauntlet. Have you got the stones to pick it up? You can bitch about real Progressives all you want, call me a troll and every other conceivable name in the book, but ask yourself if maybe the anger you feel isn't a sign that I've struck a nerve that has no business being so sensitive. Do some serious thinking, if you've read this far, and make your choice.
