Daily Kos

The Obama Conspiracy: Worse Than You Thought

by Steven D

Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:11:17 AM PDT

We know that Obama is either a secret Muslim or a member of a fake Christian cult. A man educated in an Islamic Madrassah, who hates America because he won't wear a flag pin or hold his hand over his heart during the national anthem.  We also know his middle name is "Hussein" which is the same name as the evil Islamofascist dictator Saddam Hussein!  And his last name is just one letter away from the being identical to that of Osama Bin Ladin, who attacked us on 9/11! Think that's a coincidence?

But that's not the half of it.

(cont.)

I now have the one piece of evidence that will blow the doors off Obama's "Manchurian candidacy" once and for all.

A fact so startling, so sinister, so menacing, so twisted, that even those lefty liberal commies will finally see him exposed for the traitor he really, truly is.  For you see, Obama is not just the stalking horse for the Islamofascist Menace.  It's even worse than that.

For Obama is the ultimate one man sleeper cell for the  country that is secretly determined to rule the world with its soul killing robotic technology and zombie making video games.  Yes, that's right.  Barack Obama isn't just Muslim anymore.  And he's not just black.  He's also part of the yellow peril that never really died, it just went into the shadows, working behind the scenes to destroy our great nation.  And now they finally have their greatest chance to succeed.

You see, Obama is really --- Japanese!

Obama's name graces posters hung in the main hotel. Headbands and T-shirts with drawings of the candidate's face will be available soon. Local confectioners are designing Japanese-style sweet bean cakes with Obama's portrait on them. [...]

As fanciful as it may seem, leaders in Obama — which means "Little Beach" in Japanese — are serious about forging a relationship with the candidate. [...]

"We want to ask him to stop by Obama as president if he visits Japan," Sadakazu Tsubouchi, an official at city hall. [...]

Obama the candidate has already obliged in a small way, joking to broadcaster TBS in 2006 that he had listed the town as his birthplace while passing through customs on an earlier visit to Japan.

Now you know the truth, please, please get off the Obama bandwagon.  Don't vote for him, and tell all your friends not to vote for him.  And spread the word of his nefarious plans to destroy our freedoms, warning them of the real danger Obama poses to America if he becomes President.  Otherwise you may wake up one day to this face on every street, on every television set, on every cell phone and every IPod, and Japan's stealth victory over America would then be complete:

Tags: Barack Obama, Snark, humor (all tags) :: Previous Tag Versions

Permalink | 43 comments

  •  Tips (44+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    Trix, cwkraus4clark, marcvstraianvs, esherard8, livosh1, cotterperson, eeff, Plutonium Page, bumblebums, Desroko, Eternal Hope, dadanation, Glic, CrawfordMan, Glinda, dmsilev, Eddie C, tle, jhutson, Crestingwave, HoundDog, koNko, Sagittarius, XStryker, CTLiberal, Dreaming of Better Days, cjallen, pgm 01, A Mad Mad World, JFinNe, Great Uncle Bulgaria, cyncynical, mamafooce, MaskedKat, Tackle, Empower Ink, dotster, speck tater, Yoshi En Son, Independant Man, Tara the Antisocial Social Worker, jamaicanblood, MingPicket, math monkey

    For Obama turning Japanese.

    "I just had the basic view of the American public -- it can't be that bad out there." Marine Travis Williams after 11 members of his squad were killed.

    by Steven D on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:12:19 AM PDT

  •  Looking forward to seeing (4+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    Steven D, MaskedKat, jamaicanblood, followyourbliss

    President Obama visiting this town!

    by livosh1 on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:13:22 AM PDT

  •  Funny indeed. (3+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    cotterperson, Steven D, global citizen

    by jamaicanblood on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:13:59 AM PDT

  •  ... (6+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    Radiowalla, burrow owl, Steven D, Crestingwave, cyncynical, MaskedKat

    I'm a MAN, baby!

    by Trix on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:28:50 AM PDT

  •  Great timing! (5+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    Steven D, luvmovies2000, Sagittarius, MaskedKat, Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    Dr Strangelove was just warning me about this!

    I didn't even know I was a "cultist", much less in a cult. I didn't know, until I read it on a rightwing blog, that Obama is "The Messiah"! And, for God's sake, we learn he's Japanese???

    [I know I'm not the only one who is rolling my eyes at the indignant right, the guys who march in lockstep with Dear Leader and chant the party line despite what their lyin' eyes are seeing, calling anyone else a "cultist".]

    Once in awhile you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right...

    by Glic on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:33:03 AM PDT

  •  Thanks for the great info (2+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    Steven D, MaskedKat

    I'm certainly going to vote for Hillary Clinton now.

    And if Obama gets the nomination, then I'll vote for John McCain.

    John McCain's Something for Everyone Plan: Military draft for youth, SS benefit cuts for elderly, Middle Class destruction, stock market plunge for wealthy.

    by IhateBush on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:34:19 AM PDT

  •  Mandatory Karaoke (7+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    bread and roses, dadanation, Steven D, Sagittarius, MaskedKat, Empower Ink, Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    is my deepest fear.  

    We have only just begun and none too soon.

    by global citizen on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:34:41 AM PDT

  •  How Do you insert a picture into a diary? (1+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    Steven D

    by Tackle on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:38:30 AM PDT

    •  Go to the FAQ page (0+ / 0-)

      That should provide a better answer than I can. Here's the link:

      LINK

      "I just had the basic view of the American public -- it can't be that bad out there." Marine Travis Williams after 11 members of his squad were killed.

      by Steven D on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 07:30:45 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Your satire is funny. But we have to consider (3+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    Steven D, BasharH, followyourbliss

    ourselves lucky that McCain was held as a prisoner of war for six year otherwise the Manchurian Candidate smear would not doubt sink him in the fall.  Or the Manchurian Muslim.

    The GOP will certainly run a Willie Horton strategy on either of our candidate in the fall.

    While Obama may have greater vulnerability because his image is not as defined, my opinion and hope is that he will have three big advantages over HRC in this regard that will make him superior choice on electability:

    1.  The vast number of scandals that already exist for Hillary is dumbfounding.  We are not hearing about them now, because the right wing has a published strategy of holding off until she seals the nomination and Democrats do not wish to attack our own.  But I did a little googling last week and was astonished at the number of websites, books, DVDs, merchandize, and even a new movie the right wing smear mongers already have lined up to go.  Of course, they will try the same with BHO but their opposition research, source of material, and production is a decades behind.
    1. BHO's personality may be more like Reagan's Teflon presidency.  I'm old enough to remember how frustrating it was we could not get the Contragate and other charges to stick, even though some of us, including me, thought these were impeachable offenses.  But his positive, cheerful, avuncular, "I know nothing" style made our attacks seem churlish.  I think a similar affect may cause right wing smears to bounce off, and even perhaps produce a backlash from a more sophisticated public which is disgusted with excess partisan zeal.
    1. Three recent polls show BHO beating McCain in GE polls by an incredible 13% margin in NH, and large margins in CO and even NV while McCain beats HRC by 6% in some of these GE head to heads.  Other evidence confirms a potential of up to 20% of independent and dissaffected Republicans, and Reagan Dems who defected show affinity for BHO.  

    We need to do a much more detailed and objective potential scandal analysis.  

    Ignoreing the Willie Horton attaacks was a disaster for Dukakis.  Supportors of both our candidates need to bite our lips, grimace and be willing to proactively dive into this ugly area to lance the boils, and prepare our responses to what will certainly be an avalanche in the last 60 days before the election.

     

    The means is the ends in the process of becoming. - Mahatma Gandhi

    by HoundDog on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:40:04 AM PDT

  •  2 things that scare me in this country (5+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    CrawfordMan, Steven D, luvmovies2000, HoundDog, BasharH
    1. The 25% of the entire population who are dyed in the wool, ultra right, Cheney / Coulter / Limbaugh / Faux News looney tunes who actually buy into, or just cynically foment, this sort of crap.  Who are responsible for the sorry state of affairs we find ourselves in circa 2007.
    1. The 49% of the Democratic Party who fervently believe that Candidate or President Hilary Clinton will be the means to accomplish actual solutions to the problems. Who might not trash Obama with such ludicrous extremism, but who denigrate the "politics of hope, change, and the future" as being hopelessly naive, messianic, cultish, vague,  idealistic, etc.

    Clinton as candidate, as any true realist knows, will galvanize a divided, weak, and increasingly irrelevant Republican Party.  Will give the 25% looney tunes, who hate McCain, a reason to get off their couches and into the voting booth in November. It is so obvious that it takes a true reality addled crackhead to fail to see, or to deny, it.

    Clinton as president, if she squeaks by McCain in the unlikely event that the Democratic constituency who will be alienated by her nomination (people under 30, blacks, and the "educated" white males over 30), will get off THIER couches and vote for her, will preside over nothing more than gridlock redux.  She is a divider, not a uniter.

    These two groups scare me because, between the two of them, we are down the tubes "my friends."

    "Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it." - Andre Gide

    by dtaylor on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:41:13 AM PDT

    •  The right wing smear machine continued their (3+ / 0-)

      Recommended by:
      Steven D, luvmovies2000, Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

      election attack continuosly into Bill Clinton' first term with an intention to make things so divisive if would compromise his effectiveness and train the electorate for the next election.  

      I share your fear that they will do this again to HRC.  But, let's be real. They will try this with either candidate.

      Your argument rest on two assuptions that I suspect are true, but we should be explicit in identifying as potential points of legitimate dissagreement with HRC supporters.  

      Debatable assumption 1: HRC presents a more divisive catalyst to the right wing than BHO that will have a greater unifying affect on the GOP both in intensity and numbers.  So far I think you are pretty safe grounds on this one.  Lots of MSM pundants think this is true, and many righ wing commenetators but I do not know how many of our pro HRC dkos community agree with this?

      Debatable assumption 2: BHO would better withstand such attacks, and possible even cause such a disgusted immediate backlash from the public causing the right to have to back off.

      This is my suspicion as I argue above but, in all honesty dtaylor I expect this assumption to be for more controverial.  And, I admit this assumption needs a more careful debate and analysis.  But I'm not certain this is the right time or place.  

      To be constructive we would need a great deal of self discipline to avoid the intra-group name calling, emotional back-biting, and acrimony I've seen too much of between us.  I suspect some of the nastiest intercourse is promulgated by trolls who are not really committed to conduct such discussion towards the objective of advancing the best interest of the Democratic party or even our country.

      Good luck.

      :-)  

      The means is the ends in the process of becoming. - Mahatma Gandhi

      by HoundDog on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 07:08:53 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Debatable? (0+ / 0-)

        One of my points was that it scares me that there are in fact 49% of Democrats who actually support HRC and who think there IS a debate about her divisiveness vs. BHO's inclusiveness.

        From where I sit, there is no debate:  the point is self evident from the history of the Clinton I & II administrations through the present.  Venomous anti-Hilary, anti-Bill and anti-Clinton rhetoric from the right - whether justified or not - has been loud, unaminous and ubiquitous for 16 years.  

        As opposed to evidence from open primaries throughout the country in which Obama has drawn numerous Independants and Republicans into his vision of breaking out of the baby boomer partisan gridlock past and into whatever the future may bring - good or bad.  

        Similarly, in October 2001, there was no debate.  There were those who either had flawed judgment or were cynically pandering to a perceived public majority (in view of a 2004 or 2008 presidential campaign), and voted in favor of authorizing the use of force in Iraq.

        I was just joe citizen, but I knew that force in Iraq in 2001 was premature, unjustified, wrong and would be an unmitigated disaster.  So did my wife, my son, my brother, my sister-in-law, my niece and my nephew.  So did the following Senators, among many others:  Boxer, Byrd, Chaffee, Corzine, Durbin, Feingold, Kennedy, Leahy, Levin, Wellstone.  

        So did Barack Obama.

        I, as many others, was onto Obama at the 2004 Democratic Convention.  I, as many others, winked with Al Franken when he kidded on the square about President Obama in his prescient 2005 book, The Truth (With Jokes).

        Hilary Clinton lost me forever in 2005 when she supported the anti-flag burning Amendement to the Constitution of the the United States. I mean, gimme a friggin' break, already. If it weren't for Mitt Romney, whose perfection of the art of pandering is unparalleled, Hilary wouldn't have to settle for a silver medal for cynical political posturing (though, to be fair, McCain's bronze is very close).

        My point again:  the 25% of right wing looney tunes PLUS the 49% of Democrats who REALLY think that HRC in ANY aspect as all - from brains, to experience, to judgment, to maturity, to leadership, to bipartisanship, to inspiration, to you name it - is superior to BHO, scare me to death.

        What ARE they thinking?  ARE they thinking?  I absolutely shudder even thinking about the prospect of a Clinton III administration trying to accomplish anything constructive at all in the face of a revived vast right wing conspiricy.  It won't.  Instead, it will be time to marry a Canadian.

        Will Obama be successful?  Who knows?  But at least it will be a roll of the dice and not a foregone conclusion :-)

        "Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it." - Andre Gide

        by dtaylor on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 01:13:30 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  If there is no debate (0+ / 0-)

          then why do half of Democrats support her? That by itself means there's something debatable, unless your mind is completely closed.

          "There -- it's -- you know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." --GWB

          by denise b on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 05:26:12 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Why? (1+ / 0-)

            Recommended by:
            HoundDog

            Because they have their heads in the sand?  Why else? The handwriting is clear and bold:  she is divisive, phony, cynical, and married to a narcissistic loudmouth who does not know when to STFU.  Whom ALL Republicans, MOST Independants, and 51% of Democrats don't want to see hanging out in the White House again, in any capacity.

            Moral:  nominate her and the country goes down the shitter, no matter who wins the election.

            "Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it." - Andre Gide

            by dtaylor on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 05:43:13 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  I hear you dtaylor and admit that my private (0+ / 0-)

              thoughts run pretty much parrelel to your sentiments.  

              I mean it seemed obvious to me and just about anyone I could imagine who read the NYT and other serious newspapers everyday that the war was not only bogus but a thinly and poorly disguised marketing effort that the White House Chief Of Staff at the time, (I forget his name) announced at the end of the previous summer that the White House Iraq Group was going to role out the new plan for where after the summer vacation like the announcement of a new product.

              The Bush Administration clearly planned to invade Iraq from prior to coming into office.  My understanding is that the neoconservative PNAC plan to "Reengineer The Middle East starting with an invastion of Iraq and moving onto Iran and whatever other countries didn't fall immediately into line was presented to the Clinton Administration eight year before and published shortly thereafter.

              If you check the really deep archive here if they go back that far you'll see I've written about 100 diaries at least half of which were devoted to getting this bunch of neocon scounderals impeached.

              And I left the Democratic Party in disgust about a year ago due to the lack of any serious effort by the new Democratic leadership to hold these folks responsible and defend our constitution.  

              I've only come back the last week because I see hope that BHO is a different sort of leader/stateperson.

              Certainly, any Senator who claims to not have known any of this would appear to be treading on awefully thin ice, as far as how they will be viewed by acedemic historians.  

              I'm sure several Ph.D. thesis will soon be written on this if they haven't already been.  

              But the reason I articulated my views as hypothesis rather than obvious historical fact, is after spending a lot of time as a facilitator in contentious dispute resolution as well as acedemic environments where I've realize how common it is for other opinions to have the most astonishing and unexpectable different points of view.  

              So I was sort of trained by fire to talk in sort of odd way where every articulation is acknowledged as a mental model or assumption not reality and I'm supposed to be willing to have anyone who wants challenge and test any assumption they like.

              And in the tradition of Mahatma Gandhi, or perhaps a post-modernest Quaker of somesort, I feel required to attempt to remain constructively engaged with all civil discourse until such time as we reach consensus.  

              This sort of naturally fits my personality, but I admit at othertimes is can be a darned pain in the neck.

              I'm sort of thinking that maybe I need to go back into therapy about this.  lol "-)

              So if it were just the two of us I brobably say "right on dude."    But given the intense diversity of opinion and my excessive public espousal of trying to keep the party united and positive I've sort of boxed my self into a wierd position where I'm trying to pretend that I am objective about the whole situation.

              The rate at which the discussion has escalated to such an intense and potentially divisive level is astonishing.

              I'm concerned that I've already said some things in emotional moments that I might regret later and make me feel a little hypocritical.

              It might have been a better choice for me to just acknowledge from the beginning that I have really strong preferences for one candidate over another.

              I have to think about this more.  

              I didn't mean to imply I saw any internal inconsistency with your logic or empircally verifiable facts as best that I know them.

              Sorry if I've distressed you in any way.  

              The means is the ends in the process of becoming. - Mahatma Gandhi

              by HoundDog on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 08:59:26 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

  •  Just the sight of Hello Kitty (2+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    Steven D, Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    is enough to make me switch my vote to Hillary.  ;-)

    John McCain is so (Ned) Divine!!

    by Glinda on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:44:20 AM PDT

  •  Why don't you pass the time (0+ / 0-)

    By playing a little solitaire?

    Swing State Project: Campaign & Election News

    by DavidNYC on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:53:09 AM PDT

    •  Not if Obama wins (0+ / 0-)

      Solitaire will be banned, and only Sudoku will be allowed on your computer!

      "I just had the basic view of the American public -- it can't be that bad out there." Marine Travis Williams after 11 members of his squad were killed.

      by Steven D on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 08:03:14 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Video of Obama Japan, here: (1+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    Steven D

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/...

    They are clearly onboard.

    by CrawfordMan on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 06:59:36 AM PDT

  •  Either/Or (0+ / 0-)

    I was going to Subject my Comment Either "That's a cute cate"  or "The only thing that makes this Diary credible"....  But I couldn't make up my mind.

    I do have to say that's an amazing cat picture though.  How did you get it to sit still so long for you to draw it so accurately, captureing it's very emotions?

    Also, Thing thing, without a doubt, that makes this Diary so credible is that half of the text is ORANGE.  KOS = The Great Orange Satan, therefore - Your Diary = Truth Itself.

    Thanks for this information - I'm gonna build me a time machine and go support Mitt.

    Flowers Bloom for my Ex - though Honeybees are pretty cool too.

    by Yoshi En Son on Sun Feb 17, 2008 at 08:16:38 AM PDT

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