Opposite Day: If John McCain Were a Democrat

When the New York Times published a story about John McCain’s possible inappropriate interactions with lobbyist Vicki Iseman, including a possible romantic relationship, the conservative standard-bearers of our nation suddenly rallied around McCain, even though they had before made their dislike of him all too clear. But what would have happened if John McCain were a Democrat? How would the conservative establishment have reacted to these allegations in that case, especially to the suggestion of an adulterous affair with a lobbyists? Let’s explore.

- Congressional Republicans would be demanding that an independent counsel (one close to the GOP, like Kenneth Starr) be appointed to investigate McCain, especially the charges of inappropriate sexual conduct.

- Pat Robertson would be demanding that McCain drop out of the race, and he would say that God had given him a word that McCain’s quest for the nomination would soon be over.

- A couple of conservative writers would be hired to put together in just a few days a book-length hit piece about the alleged affair, which would then be rushed to print in a matter of weeks, and would soon be propelled to bestseller status by attention from the "liberal media."

- Entire TV talk show segments would be devoted to how to talk to our children about the immoral behavior of a presidential candidate.

- Conservative talk radio hosts and talking heads would use the following talking points:

* The New York Times is, after all, a reputable news source (just think Iraq).

* It would be a moral tragedy for our nation if someone with a history of adultery became the President of the United States.

* Democrats are all alike. They always want adulterers for the Presidency.

* The teaching of evolution in public schools has resulted in adulterers seeking the Presidency of the United States.

* A man so vulnerable to wiles of women would be easily fooled by the terrorist. We could expect a nuclear attack in one of our major cities, if McCain were elected President.

These are just some of the reactions from the conservative establishment that we could expect, if John McCain were a Democrat. But since he is a Republican, the talk show hosts, pundits, and talking heads have circled the wagons and are defending him to the bitter end.

Let’s home that end comes on the first Tuesday of November.

•  Tips

  by Zoltan on Sat Feb 23, 2008 at 10:45:31 AM PDT

  •  But this is by its nature a Republican scandal.

    With Democrats, it's just straight up normal cheating.

    It's never that simple with Republicans. They cheat:

    * with a lobbyist
    * with underage kids
    * in diapers with a prostitute
    * in the stall
    

    by DemocraticLuntz on Sat Feb 23, 2008 at 10:48:38 AM PDT

    •  Yeah, like someone said

      the GOP was relieved when the scandal broke that the affair seems to have been with an adult woman this time.

      by Zoltan on Sat Feb 23, 2008 at 10:50:20 AM PDT

•  IOKIYAR

  Rinse, repeat.

  by Sychotic1 on Sat Feb 23, 2008 at 10:46:04 AM PDT

•  If McCain was a Democrat...

  we'd already be having a national debate about whether the nation is ready to accept a mentally disabled, brain-damaged First Lady. McCain would be demonized for subjecting his wife to the rigors of a presidential campaign and worldwide scrutiny.

  But, alas, McCain is a Republican and a darling of the press.  

  by Mrs Panstreppon on Sat Feb 23, 2008 at 11:19:48 AM PDT