Cheers and Jeers MONDAY!
Mon Mar 10, 2008 at 05:59:11 AM PDT
From the top floor of the Alton Weekly Inquirer Action EyeWitness NewsCenter On Your Side, in the true-blue state of Illinois....
It's March Madness!!! Here, with a special comment, is Dick Vitale!
March Madness!! You can feel it in the air, baby! Oh, yeah! The Presidential Race! Missisippi! Pennsylvania! Guam! It's showtime, baby! Toughest state? Pennsylvania! No doubt about it, baby! Number-one seed is Barack O-bama! Let's see him in action! He's fired up and ready to go! He ain't jivin’ for no one! Ohhh!! The symbolism, baby! Oh, yeah! Obama's chief competition is Hillary Clinton! But don't forget about the superdelegates! In the end, though, Obama’s takin' home the nomination, baby!
Cheers and Jeers MONDAY begins behind There's More! (Cue the theme music!) Right.....NOW!
DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, pie references, lusty wenches, insults to Delaware Dem, mattress references, whomps, moist, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
NOTE: I live in a state that doesn't matter.
Doc's Bad Joke of the Week!
(in the gray box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)
Daniel and Ginny are walking down the street one evening. As they pass one house, they hear loud shouting and crashes inside. Peter and Elizabeth Jones live there and are having a fierce argument. At the height of the quarrel, Peter picks up a table lamp, rips it out of the wall, and hurls it at Elizabeth. Elizabeth ducks, and the lamp flies past her through the window. It sails over Daniel and Ginny's heads. Daniel looks up and exclaims, "Soft! What light through yonder window breaks!"
More Comedy Gold: Guess who's back!
Why, it's our old friend, Shelley Sekula-Gibbs, winner of the Republican primary for the TX-22 seat with a big, big, 29.72% of the vote! She was loads of fun as the 51-day wonder who kept Tom Delay's seat warm until Nick Lampson could take over. And yes, the fun has started already:
Jeers to Steve Riggle, pastor of the 12,000 member Grace Community Church, who thought it was just okie-dokie to endorse SSG in the primary runoff:
Riggle, who denies that he did anything wrong, said in the letter that he was confident that Sekula Gibbs, if elected, would work to overturn a federal law that prohibits nonprofit, tax-exempt groups such as churches from speaking out on political issues.
Americans United for Seperation of Church and State are on this already. We should get a good hissy-fit from SSG any day now.
Sometimes I'm actually glad we moved out of Florida:
Jeers to political opportunism. Gov. Charlie Crist of Florida has been spending a lot of time lately campaigning with John McCain, heightening speculation that he is angling for a VP slot, this while his state faces a severe budget crisis and could use, you know, leadership about now:
By Wednesday, as the Legislature began cutting the budget, Crist was - where else? - on the road with McCain, raising money in Palm Beach and Naples the campaign had a goal of $1-million for three events in an 18-hour period.
But Cheers to the spew-worthy photo that resulted from Crist's pandering to campaigning with McCain:
"If the sumbitch says, 'my friends' one more time, I'm going to lock him in a room with Katherine Harris. I swear to God." "Oh, and I'm not gay."
Jeers to another one of my old pals, Ronda Storms, the wingnuttiest state Senator in Florida, at least for now.
Seems the oddly pornstar-named lawmaker is just shocked, shocked, that the Board of Education voted to allow teachers to teach evolution in science classes (yeah, this is 2008. Yes, it took them this long. But I digress.), so much so that she has introduced a bill called, in the best Republican tradition, the Academic Freedom Act, which would allow science teachers to ignore established science and teach their beliefs. Daniel Ruth (writing for the conservative Tampa Tribune, no less), delivers the smackdown goodness that this, er, um, woman deserves.
I'm definitely glad I moved out of Oklahoma!
Jeers to a Sooner State bigot eruption. State Rep. Sally Kern from Oklahoma City, as part of a speech, went off on a rant about gays that pretty much covered every homophobic canard ever posted about them; but then she went even more over the top by stating, "I honestly think it's the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam." So there you go, TWO bits of bigotry for the price of one. I bet she also loves The Daily Oklahoman, a rightwing rag so bad, a self-respecting fish won't allow himself to be wrapped in it.
But Wait: There's More!
Cheers to Sports Illustrated NFL correspondent Peter King, for traveling to Afghanistan with three NFL players as part of a USO tour. His great respect and affection for our service members comes through in his travelogue. While he is obviously not a political writer, he nonetheless teases out the tragedy of the misguided War on Terror strategy:
We have 40,000 troops in this country of 29 million people, covering 652,000 square miles. That's one soldier per 16 square miles, trying to find Taliban hideouts in the nooks and crannies that the Taliban have frequented for decades.
While hundreds of thousands of our servicemembers are wasted (and being wasted, to what should be all Americans' fury) in Iraq. Jan. 20th, 2009 can't come soon enough.
(Pre-publication update: Another Cheer to Peter King, who makes this point about KBR:
The food system is run by Halliburton subsidiary KBR, and I have a feeling for the money they're making on feeding the forces, they could get a Ruth's Chris-type New York strip, medium rare, to Venus. With polenta fries on the side.
But it would be served with tainted water to drink. Assholes.)
Big, break a leg (or should it be break a violin bow?) Cheers to our own composer-in-residence, Virgomusic, who has a major work, the Concerto for Theremin and Chamber Orchestra, getting it's world premiere tonight with the San Diego Chamber Orchestra. (If you don't know what a theremin is, click on my theme song above, and listen to the last 4 seconds. It's that sci-fi sounding thing!). Good luck to you, and I hope everybody loves it!
Your Inky pic for Monday:
Bill returns this Thursday--then I'll be back with my new weekly series, The Alton Weekly Inquirer, at 9AM Eastern on Friday mornings, right here on Daily Kos!
Floor's open! What do you have to Cheer and Jeer about today?
