Great Moments in AOL Customer Service History

OK...I'm nuts.  I've been using AOL for years and over those years the service has steadily degenerated so that today the home page is a giant smorgasboard of tiny graphics and even tinier type, polls with no scientific validity about topics of no interest and useless tips and pseudo-trends.

I should drop it, but I've had the e-mail forever and changing it is a pain in the nether regions.  But increasingly, keeping it is becoming a similar pain.  Recently, I made the mistake of "upgrading" from Version 9.0 to 9.1.  BIG Mistake and after mounting frustration, I finally found a way tonight to connect with a customer service rep and vent my frustration.

The biggest irritant with 9.1 was that as soon as I installed it, it threw out my existing browser home page and substituted AOL in its place.  Then it tried to defend itself so vigorously that it literally took me about 15 minutes to get rid of it.

That was enough to convince me to switch back.  AOL gets its revenge:  Now, EVERY time I log off, a window pops up and asks, "Do you want to upgrade to the latest version of AOL?" and we know what that is don't we.  Then it offers two possible responses...."Yes," or "Upgrade Later."

Notice anything missing....like "NO!!!" And as a result, I get the same question every time I log off...without fail and each time I respond with "Later" because I have no other valid choice than to go to back to 9.1.

Well, tonight I decided to vent my frustration to a live (at least that was the impression one was offered) on-line technician sitting in some cubicle somewhere in Virginia or Bangladesh or Outer Turdistan.

Herewith....the transcript of our Interchange:

System Connected with AOLTechNJP

System Hello, (ME). Welcome to Questions about AOL Live Help Support. My name is (Removed to Protect the Clueless.).

(ME) hello

AOLTechNJP Pleased to meet you. :)

AOLTechNJP I understand that you are receiving a message to update AOL software.

(ME) repeatedly

(ME) I don't want to update it.

(ME) the next version sucks

AOLTechNJP Thank you for bringing this up to our attention.

(ME) the only option you offer is "later."

(ME) the answer is "never."

AOLTechNJP I understand why you might feel that way and I am sorry about the inconvenience.

AOLTechNJP Every now and then, there are some changes being made to serve our members better.The AOL Software Update mechanism eliminates the need for you to manually download software updates. Instead, software updates are downloaded in the background with no impact to your online experience.

(ME) I've seen lots of changes but virtually none are "for the better"

AOLTechNJP This update is legitimate. In the meantime, if you prefer to continue using AOL 9.0VR, you can disregard the popup.

(ME) no...this is asking if I want to "upgrade to the latest version."

(ME) I can't "disregard it." I always have to click...later. I don't want to have to keep answering this question at EVERY logoff

(ME) I want a way for your system to stop asking me because I am NOT going to answer yes.

(ME) Probably the worst thing about AOL these days is that virtually all of the changes being foisted on us are for your convenience and not ours

AOLTechNJP I apologize for the inconvenience. At this time, there's no settings to disable the update message aside from installing it.

(ME) On the basis of my last entry, I rest my case....

AOLTechNJP I have taken a note of your feedback. We highly value what our members have to say and I will make sure that it is given the appropriate attention. We use feedback like this to make improvement to the service.

(ME) a few quick additional comments to pass along to your gurus

(ME) the home screen is way too cluttered with stuff I don't want and have no way to remove

(ME) as a result the type faces are way too small

(ME) and key buttons are all over the page from version to version and hard to find

(ME) I would love to tailor my own home page but all I can do is control the background color

AOLTechNJP I understand you have a valid concern. I am sure I would feel the same way if I were in your situation. Rest assured, I will be submitting your feedback to the appropriate department so they can look deeper into this.

(ME) I shall hold my breath...please send an ambulance immediately as I probably will be gone otherwise.

AOLTechNJP Session Ended

Tonight, I am at peace, secure in the knowledge that somewhere in the world, an appropriate department will be looking deeper....and deeper and deeper in search of a solution....AOL 9.2

•  Maybe you should give it up

  Didn't AOL become obsolete like 10 years ago?
  You can get a new email account !
  Life will go on !

  by mattinjersey on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:06:35 PM PDT

  •  I'm on AOL too

    And have been for my entire online life, 12 years now. I was even a message board community leader in the tennis folders for many years, before they stopped doing that. I got to hide post after post saying that Serena and Venus Williams were ape-women who should go back to Africa and play in the jungle league. Oh, it was so charming.

    I don't change because I've had the same email address for ten years and it doesn't bother me too much. I can't use their browser at all because they only upgrade to V.5 for Mac OS 9 which means pretty much nothing can be accessed anymore with the AOL browser. I expect that when I get thed new computer I have always intended to get when Bush leaves office, my problems will be mostly solved.

    AOHell customer "service"? Ha ha! Surely you jest. They always suggest you just reload your AOL program, no matter what the problem is, and of course, that wreaks havoc on everything else on your computer. Useless.

    by anastasia p on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:18:26 PM PDT

    •  I keep AOL, but I hardly use it.

      I have AOL for the same reason you have it -- I don't want to change my e-mail address.  I've had it since 1994.  But I hardly use it at all.  I check my e-mail, maybe poke around the news items, and then spend the rest of my day on Mozilla.

      by TheWurx on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:45:27 PM PDT

•  my mom has AOL

  The call centers appear to have been outsourced to the Asian subcontinent somewhere. The accent is what we think of as "Indian" and a year or so ago when I had to call them to get some tech support for my mom, I said something about "picking up the CD at CompUSA" and the guy on the phone had no idea what CompUSA was. (Based on what happened to them, of course, I guess there were plenty of Americans who didn't know that either.)

  My mom still has AOL for much the same reasons you do -- she's had that email address forever, it's "safe" and pretty simple to use. I wish gmail had existed when my brother and I first put her online.

  by vard on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:07:02 PM PDT

  •  That could/should be AOL's slogan

    my mom has AOL

    ;-)

    by Trix on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:11:27 PM PDT

    •  Beggin' your pardon - it IS. n/t

      by Jaime Frontero on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:16:22 PM PDT

  •  Easy transition for anyone with Windows OP

    make sure Outlook Express is installed (if you have Internet Explorer version 6, it's a component) or, if you have it, Outlook.  The other option is to use the Mozilla brand Thunderbird email client.

    Get your mom a Gmail email address.

    In the user settings, tell it to allow a POP3 download for your gmail.  This means it will send your online gmail to your home email client, automatically, on demand (when you click the send-receive button).

    The settings are found by clicking the 'settings' link at the top right, next to your email address on the home page of your gmail account.

    Next, click the 'forwarding and POP/IMAP' link, and look for the section labeled 'POP Download'.  It walks you through the configuration for your email client.

    Then you set up your Outlook Express, Outlook or Thunderbird with your gmail account settings (tools, options, email accounts for any of these programs).

    Now, send an email from your mom's AOL account to her new Gmail account, include in it her entire AOL email address book list.  Then import that list into her email client when it is downloaded from gmail.

    Now, let her start SENDING all email from her new gmail address (by sending them out of her desktop email client).

    She will still read all mail on her AOL service, but tell her to ONLY SEND from her new gmail.

    All of her friends and family will catch on quickly that she's using a new email address and start sending to that right away.  Everything else is probably junk or spam anyway.

    After six months, she can quit AOL and move to a  local or regional (and probably much cheaper) ISP for her service, and never have to put up with that sucky AOL-brand browser again.

    I did this years ago, and I can't say I miss hearing, "you've got mail" from my computer, not one tiny bit.

    by Angie in WA State on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:46:24 PM PDT

•  No sympathy

  Sorry.  Get a new internet provider

  by SFOrange on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:07:57 PM PDT

  •  Ditto.

    Your current ISP already offers you e-mail (probably 7 differently named accounts), picture hosting, and sanity.

    As bad as almost all ISPs are, AOL has earned a special mention by Dante - just as soon as somebody invents a time machine and goes back to explain it to him.

    Why would you install AOL on your computer?  It's a fucking virus!  You don't need anything but a connection to the 'net.

    Buy an Internet for Dummies book if there's stuff you don't get - but fer chrissakes, get off of AOL.

    by Jaime Frontero on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:15:25 PM PDT

    •  Go ISP independent

      The ISPs have a huge number of problems. Net neutrality, market instability, etc. They all suck at this point.

      Go to Google hosted, GoDaddy or any number of other providers and register a domain. You don't have to use it for a website, just email. They can walk you through how to set up email very simply. For a quarter the cost of AOL, you can have [e-mail].

      It doesn't matter what ISP you use, your email address will always be independent and universally accessible to you. If a very good ISP comes along with new technology (the 700 MHZ spectrum for instance) you can switch without worrying.

      by Gravedugger on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:27:15 PM PDT

•  It's been AOHell for years

  Even if you are limited to dial-up, there are better options.

  Indeed, it is a drag to begin with a new e-mail address, but most services have a feature that lets you send a notice to your entire address book.

  We have Verizon DSL, but i don't use any of their features or their home page.  None of it.  We do have an e-mail account with them, and that's the one we us for registrations and other stuff we don't need to look at.  

  Break free!

  by newfie53523 on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:09:54 PM PDT

•  AOL is still in business? n/t

  by Trix on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:10:20 PM PDT

•  Wait'lll you try to end your service.

  You'll spend seven to eight hours on the phone with a call-center employee in Karachi, with them doing everything they can short of sending over men in muscle shirts to threaten you if you try to pull the plug.

  Then, you'll find out after you leave the service that they've been billing you for some discount shopping or rewards program to the tun of about $9.95/month that you almost can't cancel, short of setting yourself on fire on Times Square bearing a giant "AOL Sucks Donkey Cocks" banner.

  Leave now while you can still think.

  by Melody Townsel on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:10:31 PM PDT

  •  LOL. So accurate, Melody

    But I did get them to cut my monthly bill to almost nothing but complaining that since I can't upgrade and can't see most of their features anymore (and can't access my home email from work since I have Mac OS9 there too) I shouldn't be paying for a service 90% of which I can't use.

    by anastasia p on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:21:16 PM PDT

  •  Happened to a friend

    They got fed up, and after the third call, they warned AOL that any further charges would not be paid.

    They put a stop on payments through their credit card issuer and filed an FTC complaint.

    I don't know if it messed with their credit rating though. I always thought that consumers should be able to rate utilities, bill collectors and debt issuers the same way they rate us through credit agencies.

    by Gravedugger on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:30:24 PM PDT

•  don't worry, be happy

  release 10 is waiting for you
  my wife is ready to throw the computer through the window

  by askyron on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:11:13 PM PDT

  •  AOL charged my cousin

    I believe it was almost $30 a month for dial-up. which is more than I pay for DSL.

    by Avila on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:23:56 PM PDT

•  I dumped AOL ages ago

  but my browser still has the AOL logo on it...

  when data is being trasnferred I get the MSN graphic...but the AOL graphic comes back the instant there's no more downloading goin on

  took ages to get all the AOL BS off my computer

  I screwed a few things up in the process of trying to get every bit of AOL off my computer ( e.g. Windows Explorer no longer works )

  by RumsfeldResign on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:11:37 PM PDT

•  Having worked for AOHell as a support monkey,

  I can sympathize.  We had some good techs back in the day.  Alas, outsourcing sucks.

  by TheStormofWar on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:12:02 PM PDT

•  Just Escaped From AOL....

  I finally got a cable modem last December & escaped AOL.

  The one thing that irritated more than anything else is that with each succeeding AOL version, it became bigger & bigger "bloatware"  that would want to open every conceivable component of AOL at startup.

  The best AOL story ever is the guy who called AOL to cancel his account, and they wouldn't let him leave.....
  

  
  

  by Rimjob on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:14:07 PM PDT

  •  ooh that's a classic

    I had a guy debate me when I tried to cancel on the phone too

    I just sent in something by mail later

    by RumsfeldResign on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:23:05 PM PDT

  •  HAHAHA... I had free AOL for a YEAR before

    because every month, I would call and ask to cancel my account, and they would offer me a free month of AOL if I stayed a member.

    Every month.  For a year.

    Eventually I just asked them to cancel it finally and that I didn't want any more free months.

    It's hilarious.  They'll do anything to keep you as a member, even if you don't pay.  It helps them because they can tell their advertisers that they have more members.

    by Aerials on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 10:14:02 PM PDT

•  Hello this is Herbert...

  I'm waiting for the tables to be turned...

  when India becomes the economic superpower and their tech support is based here...in Kentucky somewhere...a poor guy in India will call tech support and get a heavily accented "Hello this is RAN-jeeeeeev..how can I hep you today sir?"

  by RumsfeldResign on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:14:43 PM PDT

•  I've got loads of Gmail invites.

  It's awesome. Want me to send you one?

  by pattyp on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:17:52 PM PDT

  •  do it do it do it do it

    by RumsfeldResign on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:23:35 PM PDT

  •  Do you even NEED invites anymore?

    Just curious.  can't you just sign up anymore?

    by DawnG on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:33:40 PM PDT

    •  No, you don't need an invite

      just go here http://mail.google.com/...

      by Angie in WA State on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:55:03 PM PDT

      •  Dang!

        And all I wanted was to feel speshul....
        ;-)

        by pattyp on Sat Mar 15, 2008 at 10:48:25 AM PDT

•  okay , but who then?

  I live in rural dial up country and switched from aol to people pc, which I hate, hate, hate.

  so who else do yawl recommend?

  by TravnTexas on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:20:40 PM PDT

  •  if you have cable service

    cable TV, you may have cable internet as an option.

    by Avila on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:24:57 PM PDT

    •  no darn it

      I have satellite
      one of the major things I miss moving from the big city is cable internet.

      I take naps in between pages loading, although some kind soul here did a diary once about installing firefox which cuts down significantly on nap time.

      thanks anyway

      by TravnTexas on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:31:26 PM PDT

    •  I dropped my cable TV.....

      about four months ago because the price kept "surging" upwards and the quality and content kept declining.  I haven't missed it.  I can get pretty much everything I really like via the Internet.

      However, when I did tell Comcast I was leaving but wanted to keep the connection for high speed Internet, they informed me that they were going to increase my monthly charges for the cable connection specifically because I wasn't taking cable TV service any more.

      I immediately advised that doing so would mean they would no longer have my business for anything.  They promptly offered me a teaser rate for six months.   If they try and jack it then, I'm bailing...

      Anyone have any experience with AT&T's cable service connections....cost and quality ?

      by dweb8231 on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:36:25 PM PDT

•  AOL overwrites Windows settings

  and even if you just use AOL Anywhere to check webmail and you don't have their crapwear installed on your PC, five - count 'em, 5 - spywares for webmail only.

  after you switch, you'll wonder why you ever had AOL to begin with. but as someone said upthread, watch them for billing you after your service has stopped.

  by Avila on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:22:28 PM PDT

•  I had an aunt and uncle who had AOL...

  ...for years. but they ditched it and got yahoo email accounts.

  Trust me, you won't miss it.

  Get yourself a yahoo, gmail or hotmail account.  Then it doesn't matter who your provider is, you can still access it wherever you are.

  by DawnG on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:33:12 PM PDT

•  I won't rip anyone who persists in using AOL

  because they did such a great job of marketing the 'portal' concept to the masses in the last century.

  Listen:  I have a DSL account, which has ended up with AT&T through various transactions that have left phone service looking startlingly like it did before the gummint's antitrust suit... but I digress.

  Do you remember CompuServe?  Prodigy?  WHY?

  The portals exist for one purpose only:  to control your access to the internets by packaging up in a snazzy but marginally useful interface laden with ads and steering you towards sites that paid them to do so.

  Listen:  the three biggest purveyors of crapware (unnecessary/useless software laden with spyware and shitty "addons" that steer you to their paying partner's product) are AOL, Yahoo! and Hewlett-Packard.  Perhaps you have some others to add to this list.  

  When I bought DSL from AT&T, they wanted me to download all their Yahoo! shitware.  I refused, and guess what?  My access works just fine, and when I launch my Firefox browser, it opens to the home page - "portal" I set it to:  Google.  

  Every internet "service" exists to steer you to their business partners at the expense of giving you real internet freedom.  Avoid this crap like the plague it is.  You don't need a fucking "portal";  you just need a fast connection to the internets, from which point you can go wherever YOU choose, not where some corporation wants to steer you!

  by Man in the Middle on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 09:44:17 PM PDT

  •  My ISP is just a pipe...

    I use Verizon for nothing but the physical connection to the internet. After their DNS monkeyshit business, I switched to a different DNS. I systematically have written ISPs out of everything but the physical connection. My primary email is served through my own website, and it doesn't matter if I move, or change ISPs.

    When I move in a year, I will switch to Speakeasy, and avoid the major ISPs all together.

    Just the pipe...nothing else. When I pay for my electricity, at least they don't try and make me install a fridge with a screen full of ads on it...

    by Gravedugger on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 10:54:01 PM PDT

  •  I remember Prodigy, I remember Compuserve...

    Heck, I remeber when BBS' used to advertise they had node access. I generally have only used AOL software for the drink coasters they are good for. Back when I had dial-up I paid for a dedicated modem line anyway, so when cable came to town was one of the first to upgrade.

    My spouse on the other hand, not as comp savvy downloaded AOL "just to try it" and yes, we are still married(see past diaries, I do love her) but I am still flushing bits and pieces of their crap from my system.

    I somewhat disagree as my local cable company, which is my ISP, doesn't do any of that, DKos has been my homepage for a while, I use both IE and firefox, though admittedly since upgrade to Vista, I tend to use IE more, my connection software updates blindly, without ad- or malware infestation, I just never have to worry about that when surfing. Admittedly my cable modem has blown up (well, sort of caught fire) and it did take them some time to figure that it was cable companies fault(the modem connection conduit on the outside of my house didn't have an end cap, so when it rained...) They have actually been very decent. They do make up for it in adverting on TV, but heck at least they are funny there and I can change the channel.

    by RiverCityMadman on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 11:16:19 PM PDT