Why people refuse to see

I sent a link to the obama race speech the other day to my friends and family.  Well, I got an email from my brother saying he won't watch it because obama is unpatriotic and unamerican and shouldn't be president.  then he sent me an email he had gotten which i will share below the fold.  I feel sad inside for the unwillingness for my family to see or hear anything.  

Here is the email that my brother forwarded to me....

Obama Denials Don't Ring True
Wednesday 03-19-2008 5:25am ET
Sorry, Barack it doesn't wash.

Your elderly white grandmother being afraid of black men who pass her on the street is not the moral equivalent of your pastor saying that black people should pray that God will "damn America."

Your claim that you winced when your white grandmother bought into racial stereotypes does not excuse you for spending your entire adult life in the pews of a man who claims that white people in the United States government invented AIDS to "genocide" black people.

And the fact that your genealogy is racially diverse doesn't change the fact that since you got out of college you have chosen to worship at a church which preaches black nationalism. Your family history is racially diverse, but your life choices are not.

You were in the congregation, Barack, and that wasn't an accident. It wasn't a few sporadic insane rants, it was a fundamental philosophy. We've seen your church's website, we've heard your pastor preach.

And we've heard how the congregation reacted.

Because while you now – when it is politically essential to do so – disavow your closest spiritual advisor, it is clear from the videotape of him at the pulpit that the rest of the congregation heartily agreed with his most outlandish statements. His worst rantings were not greeted by embarrassed silence, they were met by rousing cheers.

How likely is it, Senator Obama, that you would have freely spent 20 years of your life in a church whose pastor and congregation were in fundamental disagreement with you?

It is not likely at all.

Your claim that you didn't hear your pastor's views on the United States is not credible. While you were a member of his church – a church you selected after a search of several – there were 20 Fourth of Julys, 20 Flag Days, 20 Memorial Days and 20 Veterans Days. It is inconceivable that your pastor's open contempt for the United States was not discernible to you on any of those 80 days of American patriotism.

If John McCain had been in the congregation, he would have walked up and punched the man. If Hillary Clinton had been in the congregation, she would have walked out. Barack Obama was in the congregation and he stayed for 20 years.

To claim that this man is a part of your family, but that you weren't aware of his most passionate political and racial views, is not believable. Seriously, is it your claim, Barack, that this man – your intimate friend and close spiritual advisor – never mentioned his political views to you as you became first an Illinois senator and then a United States senator?

He advised his congregants to write and call their representatives, but he didn't even talk politics with the politician in his congregation?

How is that believable?

And how is it that a white politician is damned for a single visit to Jerry Falwell or Bob Jones but you are to go unquestioned for some 1,000 visits to a church whose leaders' racial views are far more strident?

And do you really expect anybody to believe that this black racial "anger" that you speak of is a phenomenon of just the older generation? Is it really your assertion, Barack, that that anger – or, to be more accurate, racism – is found only in African-Americans the age of your pastor? Do you think that's a credible claim?

And do you think that these barbershop and dinner-table conversations you say blacks have, the ones in which they express racial anger against whites, do you really think they are morally excusable or justified? Don't you think instead of explaining and condoning such attitudes that you should challenge and condemn them?

If racism among whites is worthy of condemnation, why isn't it among blacks?

And if your grandmother's supposed racial stereotypes made you wince, what do these barbershop and dinner-table racial stereotypes make you do? If racism is damaging to the people who have it in their hearts, why don't you save the folks having these barbershop conversations from the moral damage of their own prejudice and bigotry?

Why didn't you challenge the attitudes of the people you go to church with? For 20 years you were up to your eyeteeth in black separatism and black anger, and instead of challenging those attitudes, you either silently assented to them or went along with them. With that background, how do you honestly think you could be entrusted to "bridge America's racial divide?"

With all respect, senator, it seems like you've spent your adult life as a partisan on one side of the racial divide. Why should anybody on the other side, or anybody who doesn't share your view that racial division is our most pressing national concern, think you could be fair or objective?

Because it's clear you don't understand how white people feel or act.

In your remarks yesterday, just before you tried to unite whites and blacks in your Marxist hatred of corporations and rich people, you claimed that white people, when they get together, express "racial anger" against black people.

You got that wrong.

Not to be rude, but white people mostly don't give a damn. White people mostly don't see the great divide your pastor has based his ministry on. White people, when they are at the barbershop or dining-room table, usually talk about their families or sports or what they saw on TV or what their plans are for the weekend. While black people might be bubbling over with "racial anger" at white people, white people usually have something more interesting to talk about.

Sorry.

And I'm sorry that there is such a clear double standard in American society and politics. Racism among blacks is fine and racism among whites is condemned. No amount of racism among whites is tolerable and any amount of racism among blacks seems just fine. Called on it, the ridiculous argument is made that blacks cannot be racist because they don't control the institutions of power, or some such nonsense. That is simply preposterous.

While Barack Obama calls for bridging the racial divide, his own campaign benefits by it, and the double standard that underpins it.

Barack Obama is, for example, the "black candidate" -- if you are black. But if you are white, and you say that he is the "black candidate," you are a racist. Just ask Geraldine Ferraro. Black supporters clearly and constantly support him on the basis of race, but if anyone who's not black points that out, they're a racist.

How does that make any sense?

The great challenge Barack Obama had yesterday was to keep the support of those who agree with his pastor while trying to get the support of those who don't.

The simple fact is that the views of his pastor have a significant following among American blacks. The pastor didn't build a national following among blacks by preaching about the Sermon on the Mount. What the pastor says resonates with a great many black people.

And those black people have been Barack Obama's margin of victory time and time again. When you're drawing 90 to 95 percent of the black vote in a Democratic primary, you know who you owe your success to.

Barack Obama's career and political success are based on a black-centered approach to life. That is his right. But to now claim some race-straddling position, bridging the gap between whites and blacks as a neutral mediator, is just not believable.

And neither does it reflect the fact that though blacks are America's longest-standing minority community, they are not its largest. There are blacks and whites and Latinos and Asians in this country, and Indians and Middle Easterners and Pacific Islanders.

And somebody worthy of being president would hold them all to the same standard and extend to them all the same respect and support.

And he would call them all the same thing.

Americans.

The problems with race in this country come from people forgetting that they are first and foremost Americans, with a bond of citizenship and brotherhood to all other Americans.

A president should teach that this is the greatest country on Earth and that its citizens are "created equal" and that this nation is "indivisible."

And so should his pastor.

And here was my response to my brother: (and i can assure you i will get an earful for it, too)

I am sorry that you choose to believe the context given by others.  Obama gave a great speech about individual pasts of different people and how they are helping to cause the problems we have today between each other.  It is with understanding that we can move forward.  Because in the end, we all have more in common than some may have us believe.  And we all need to come together to get the government to take care of what's going on that effects ALL of us.  I guess there are some that aren't ready to see that yet.  Too busy trying to place blame on others then to stop blaming and trying to come together.  I am sorry that you feel that way.  I have heard many things said by others that I found offensive.  Many things that I was shocked to hear out of friends and families mouths.  But I understood it and did not seek to disassociate myself from them.  Because they were more than those few words spoken.  And what wright said came from a place that neither you or I can understand.  And he didn't just repeat them over and over again for twenty years.  It's a shame that some refuse to see that.  

Such anger my family members have towards blacks.  I hear them spew such vitriol, I hardly believe I can hear it.  Sometimes I ask people to stop using such language... I do not want that around my kids.  But they will not be swayed from their anger.  and they don't think they are prejudiced or anything.  it is sad to me.

•  What church do your family

  members attend?  The one that preaches tolerance, love and charity or how to hate black people, gays, Muslims, etc.

  by Marie on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:53:25 PM PDT

  •  we were raised catholic

    but none of us actually attend church, though most of my siblings still say they are catholic.  i say i am a recovering catholic.  i don't like the idea of just believe what we say, don't ask questions.  wtf is that!  oh yeah, because once you see the inconsistencies, the whole thing falls apart!!!  i know my one sister is a dem, but i would wager she supports hillary.  but who knows.  we only ever see her twice a year.  

    by ejpoeta on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:05:36 PM PDT

    •  I have to ask

      How many of your catholic family walked out of their churches when it was found that their priests were molesting children?

      How many walked out when they found that the cardinal was moving pedophile priests to another parish, rather than reporting them and letting them take their punishments?

      This is another issue on religion and "Can't believe you would stay with a church that talks like that (or allows that behavior)"

      Just an observation

      by second gen on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:16:24 PM PDT

      •  that is SOO true! thanks for that

        i wouldn't stay with a church that allowed that to happen.  i wasn't even thinking about that.  a very good observation.

        by ejpoeta on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:27:37 PM PDT

        •  I'm glad you didn't take offense

          I just wanted to point out something that has bothered me about the whole thing.

          And the fact that you didn't take offense means you get it.

          by second gen on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:41:13 PM PDT

          •  i am not set in my ways.

            i like to think i am not, anyway.  and while i can see the good in some religious things, overall i see it as a means of controlling people.  and that whole pedophilia thing in the church spoke volumes about that to me.  better to protect the priests who, by  the standards of the church have sinned.  it makes me sick.  

            by ejpoeta on Thu Mar 20, 2008 at 06:54:36 AM PDT

    •  I'm catholic and sad to say

      ashamed of some catholics that preach hate - Hannity, O'Reilly, Buchanan... need I go on.

      by marley619 on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 09:09:46 PM PDT

•  Very sad

  Your response is perfect, though.

  It is too bad that he won't watch the speech! If his opinions are so fragile that he can't even go STRAIGHT to the source because he's afraid that it might challenge it.

  by jenontheshore on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:54:39 PM PDT

•  I feel so bad for you...but, know this...

  You are NOT alone.

  You are right.  

  You cannot change them.  You did well to educate yourself and you're doing right to protect your children from such hate and vitriol.

  It is hard, but you will find other mentors in your life.

  by Izaak Walton on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:54:51 PM PDT

  •  the hardest part for me

    is that i always looked up to my brother.  and today, he is just like my dad!  which is infuriating.  he is so blockheaded.  thanks for your kind words.  

    by ejpoeta on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:03:12 PM PDT

    •  I'm you're brother. You have sisters here too.

      And, you'll find them in your real life, too.  Just never compromise your beliefs to keep the love of your family.

      Your family should love you without conditions.

      by Izaak Walton on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:06:27 PM PDT

  •  that's so true

    I'm having similar issues with many family members

    by marley619 on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 09:11:09 PM PDT

•  This was the exact dynamic

  that Obama talked about during his speech. You still love your family and you won't disown them although they feel this way. Maybe one day you words won't fall on deaf ears...

  by nviedprincess on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:57:25 PM PDT

•  Sorry you received that email, ejpoeta

  and that your family is so disappointing. Mine's okay, but I feel the same sadness you do.

  People are so baffling. You just want to shake them and say, can't you see? Why are you so blind and stupid and cruel and oblivious?

  I hope you can find good company.

  by bumblebums on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:58:04 PM PDT

•  There is a large segment of society that needs to

  be told what to believe by authority figures.  It is so pervasive that the fear of individual discernment varying from groupthink overwhelms to the point that there is a fear of too much knowledge.

  As CNN said the other day, there is a mental pleasure trigger fired when someone denies inconvenient facts that conflict with their strongly held beliefs.

  Taken as close as I can from memory:

  Jeannie Moos: Do you know what religion Obama is?

  Woman: Muslim.

  Man: Christian.

  Woman: I think he's a Muslim.

  Man: I know he's a Christian.

  Jeannie: What makes you think he's a Muslim?

  Woman: It's what I've heard.

  Man: He's not.

  Woman: Whatever.

  by NotablyZen on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:58:48 PM PDT

•  Hate is learned ... and passed down from

  generation to generation.

  The best thing you can do is have the courage to break the chain and not teach it to your children. It seems you are already doing that in your desire not to have them around it. But, that's not enough because you can not shield them from it 24/7.

  You have to take the time to teach them why it is wrong when they encounter it when they are not around you and what to do.

  Congratulations on having broken those chains yourself from your own family.

  by hungrycoyote on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:59:01 PM PDT

•  Some people unfortunately

  are dead set against Obama because he is black. For some people he's "too black," for some he's "not black enough." Some people are less overtly racist and say that he's a "closet Muslim" or is "unamerican" or "not patriotic enough" (all code words for "he's not like me, so he's bad"). Ultimately, it's all rooted in fear, ignorance, and xenophobia.

  Ultimately, these kinds of people will never be convinced. Even if you can sway them on one issue, they will find another excuse. While talking to them probably does help, it's probably more productive to focus your energy elsewhere. With any luck (and a first black president), over time they, or their children, or their grandchildren will grow more understanding and more compassionate.

  One inch at a time, one day at a time, one person at a time. We can do it.

  by liberate on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:59:40 PM PDT

•  This is why it took courage for Obama to run

  The New York Times called his speech a "profile in courage."  The reference to the book by JFK was hardly an accident.

  Barack Obama saw that his candidacy, if nothing else could serve to be another contribution among many to the ongoing struggle to change the minds and hearts that need to change in order to redeem the true potential of America.  

  This takes a degree of confidence and courage that is uncommon.  Your story illustrates beautifully why.

  On late night AM radio there is a truck driver talk show across the southwest.  There have been shows where the host is shaking his head and wondering "how it will look" if the US elects a president with a name like that.  His callers mostly commiserate.

  I think this whole exercise, of trying to work out who the nominee is and how we get beyond our present sorry state to a place where we can elect someone like Obama is working things out that need to be worked out and is good for our country's future.

  Anything worthwhile is never easy.  Hang in there.  

  You may have heard the old saying, "the reason we have family is to remind us how valuable our friends are."  Sometimes that seems like wisdom.

  by Stuart Heady on Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:12:16 PM PDT