You won't see this in the MSM

What the fuck do you want me to do, America? First you want me to fight the war, which entails killing people. Then when the wrong people get killed you want to send me to prison and make an example out of me so other soldiers will "fight more compassionately." I’m not about to lie down and die in a third world country where no one gives a fuck about democracy, much less the other tribe of Hajis down the road. If I can help it no one is standing in my way of coming home. The only positive thing about stop loss is that I’m going to be a lot more lethal knowing that I’m on expired time.

(snip)

Terrorizing the citizenry into compliance with twelve gauge rounds and using the Humvee as a battering ram... I once made a guy eat a shotgun barrel... I’ve seen many people beat up and generally abused and didn’t give two fucks. Hell, I encouraged it. All of it was done for a reason. And in my mind it was completely justified. But because it was justified doesn’t make it right by any means. For some reason all that fucks with my head more than watching my friends lie motionless in the streets of Iraq and pour out of a burning Humvee, on fire themselves.

More ...

I've noticed lately I've been sleeping like shit. I'll get four hours of sleep and somehow manage to not pass out and wreck my car on the way into work at five in the morning. I'm a night person and always have been but this is ridiculous; you'd figure after a few days of minimal sleep I'd crash and burn and sleep about twelve hours in one night. Nope. I got more sleep in Iraq, for Christ's sake.

When you can't sleep you start thinking... a lot. Too much for my own good.

I think about whether I'm going to make it back from this deployment... the company has done two tours without anyone getting killed. I hate to say it... but, shit, I think in different terms than civilians and there's certain realities you simply have to face. You can't play dumb or pretend it doesn't exist... as they say, third time's the charm...

If I do make it back I wonder how fucked up in the head I'm going to be. Or whether I'll have all my limbs intact.

I think about whether I'm going to do something I'm going to regret. How bad my anger management is going to come back after Iraq. How long it's going to take me to readjust. You people have no idea how scared I am that the people closest to me won't recognize me when I come home.

(snip)

I think about how the Army is taking it's big green cock and sticking it in our ass. Someone please explain to me the sense in stop loss? 160,000 soldiers in Iraq and 10,000-some are stop lossed? Seven fucking percent. What. The. Fuck. Let me tell you something, America; I don't owe you SHIT. I've shed blood, sweat and tears for this country. And I'll continue to do so until the fucking idiot in charge decides to let me go on my merry way... but let's get one thing straight: I'm gunna be on expired time for thirteen months. I have friends who are already on expired time; they were supposed to be out of the Army a month ago, they're still here and we haven't even left yet. After I watch the day I'm supposed to get out pass me by on a calendar and go out on patrol the next day... I don't owe anybody anything. Nothing. I've paid my debt to king and country. Fuck you.

I think about whether my twelve month deployment that already got extended to fifteen months will get extended to eighteen months once they realize the US Army is BROKEN. You heard it here first, folks, from the horses mouth. We're fucking broken. And don't let anyone tell you different.

Read it.  What you see here is just the tip of the iceberg.  They're sending this guy back for a THIRD tour.  Without his consent.  He just has to go.  

It's here:

http://funwithhandgrenades.blogspot.com/

•  Dick Cheney: "hey, he volunteered".

  It's just so very wrong.  

  by Inky99 on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 10:30:01 PM PDT

  •  Did you hear any romance in that?

    I didn't. Does this fucking President realize these are real live people not the army men he played with as a child? When I read something like this Pastor Wright's words sound more and more acceptable to me. No, I would like to add something to the Pastor's words. Goddamn George Bush's America.

    by Vera Lofaro on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 10:38:08 PM PDT

  •  Wrong because they didn't know

    they didn't know they would be so screwed on rotations and length of tours.  the worst moment for us was we sent our son off to Iraq on September 5th, and he was in for the whole 15 crappy months, he came home for his leave in November, why?  Because logistically, due to the surge and stuff, well they couldn't let everyone go home mid tour, so they decided all new comers, newest to the theater of war would all come back home.  Bittersweet, so tough, and nothing now for him to look foward to, just months and months of it.  He is lucky, he has a family and cousins and he is adored.  

    Many of these young men and women have very little in support.  I don't trust the big organizations I like to find one guy or squad and go direct.  If you can blog like to this guy, its very easy to send support :)

    by IngeniousGirl on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 11:53:18 PM PDT

•  Stop Loss Sucks n/t

  by C Dawgg on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 10:32:08 PM PDT

  •  The Hidden Draft

    Why don’t we just come out and say it? Why aren’t we honest? It’s not a volunteer Army anymore. Stop loss is the same thing as the draft.

    It is sheer agony to think of McCain winning the presidency, but nothing compared to the suffering of our troops.  

    The military is broken.  America is broken.  Just plain broken.  We are already a second-world nation, spiralling toward third-world status.  

    by willb48 on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 12:12:05 AM PDT

    •  It's really not a hidden draft.

      It's a conscription. Drag 'em in and make 'em stay as long as that idiot Bush says.

      by jimreyn on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 01:56:24 AM PDT

•  thats not right.

  i know its obvious but it still needs to be said. Someone should ask mccain about that.

  by Liberal Youth on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 10:37:53 PM PDT

  •  McCain has a distant memory

    and he got full benefits, VA, health, welfare, pension, compensation and education benefits, and health care for life.  This is not what our guys and gals get, they get very very little, and have to pay for many clothing and special gear items themselves.  The Army for example, does not give our soldiers bullet resistant goggles.  I purchased them for my son, very expensive, but it can save an eye.  McCain could care less, he is so above it all. thanks for his service, as a POW that sucks, but SO.

    by IngeniousGirl on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 11:55:37 PM PDT

•  No words, just tears. eom

  by laderrick on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 10:38:23 PM PDT

•  Then DON'T GO BACK!!!

  This guy seems to realize how wrong and immoral this war is.  What he's done to other people, and what's been done to him.  He realizes that he may even have a negative impact on his friends and family here at home.  SO WHY DOES HE GO?!  I understand that he'll get court-martialed if he doesn't, but what's the alternative?  He obviously KNOWS what the alternative is . . . and it's a whole lot worse than a court-martial.

  So c'mon guy, stand up to Bush and his fascist regime!  If a bunch of you guys did that, this war would be over in no time.

  WHAT IF THEY GAVE A WAR AND NOBODY CAME?

  by ratmach on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 10:41:55 PM PDT

  •  I don't hear a lot of sympathy toward

    the poor man he terrorized with a shotgun.
    All I hear is anger and a total disconnet with his own humanity.

    I hear fear for his own life and the lives of his brothers in arms, which justifiable ofcourse, but no remorse or concern for the estimated 150,000 - 1000,000 civilians that have died so far.
    The fact that we have to so feebly estimate the number of Iraqi deaths rather than categorically state it says it all really. They don't even bother counting them.

    by notquitedelilah on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 11:05:49 PM PDT

    •  I know I'm not supposed to say this....

      .... but I care just as much about an Iraqi's death over there as I do an American's.  In fact, when you're talking about innocent civilians, it's even MORE of an injustice that they're dying .... since they never once asked for us to go over there and start this murderous, illegal, immoral war.  And all I know is, if some "liberators" came into my town, knocked down my door, and killed one of my kids.......

      by ratmach on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 11:12:05 PM PDT

      •  Cant blame the grunts

        if they were thrust into a nightmare and expected to do whatever they have to in order to make it home alive. War sucks, we swallow. End of story.

        by eclecticbrotha on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 11:35:34 PM PDT

    •  You must read "On Killing"

      this book explains what happens to the minds of our soldiers through the mind bending training of the military.  Do not underestimate what they do to these young men.  You cannot understand what they go through.  Be kind in your heart for him.

      by IngeniousGirl on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 12:00:38 AM PDT

      •  I'd rather save my compassion for

        the weak and helpless and those who had no choice in this matter.

        by notquitedelilah on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 01:43:27 AM PDT

        •  amen

          by IngeniousGirl on Sun Mar 30, 2008 at 04:03:48 PM PDT

  •  this I respectfully say to you is not fair

    nor does it help.  They prosecute and jail these guys for 20 and 30 years.  There is no way out.  the recruiters lie, big time, when they sign them up, ask me, I had it happen to my son, we got the contract rescinded (I am an attorney and read the riot act to the commanding officer, Sgt. and recruiter) 6 months later my son went anyway, with eyes wide open.  but back to this guy, so many have no other option, choice and it is not what they think it is when they sign.  He has to survive, he needs just hear we care, that's all, see my post below.  It is just sooo sad.

    by IngeniousGirl on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 11:58:58 PM PDT

  •  dude, read what he says about that

    he addresses that.  He's responsible for the lives of other men, and feels responsible for their safety.

    Read it, you'll see it's not so simple.  

    by Inky99 on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 01:24:58 AM PDT

•  Hell

  This is it. Not because of foreign threats.

  by TJ Slater on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 10:48:08 PM PDT

•  just eat like a pig

  Personally I would just get fat as shit and say fuck you, my back hurts anytime somone asks me to do something.  Between being overweight and a "chronic" back ailment, you'll get out.  Then get your life back.

  eat baby eat

  by dark daze on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 10:50:38 PM PDT

•  we are going to reap a score of fell harvests

  from this war, ere all is said and done.

  by wu ming on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 11:04:29 PM PDT

•  I've Adopted Him

  I get tons of things into my son's squad including the verbotin sausage, yeah summer sausage, they love it, screw the Army's rules.  Thanks for pointing the way, the more they hear from us and get a sane voice instead of an echo the better they survive, this is a proven statistic.  Email him, blog to him tell him you care, it works.

  by IngeniousGirl on Wed Mar 26, 2008 at 11:49:10 PM PDT

•   Caring about the Iraqi people

  doesn't enter into it when you and your friends are trying to stay alive.  You are already risking life and limb for country.  You are already scarred by the things you've seen, the things you needed to do to stay alive.  Dwelling on civilian suffering doesn't make you more human.  It makes you more crazy.  If you don't turn it into hate or (at least) apathy, it bites you just before the bullet gets its chance.

  Soldiers do what they need to do -- in every war, from any country.  If you don't like the way they fight, pick up the gun and do the killing yourself, because someone will.

  The hearts and minds of the troops won't end this war, and you sitting at your computer should shake with fear if it comes to that, because then we'll have a rogue military.  And we all know that always ends well.

  Just vote.  Vote to end the war.  Vote for Obama.  Ultimately, only votes count.  Only the ballot will get us out of this nightmare, so we can deal with the others...

  by Arculi on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 12:00:43 AM PDT

  •  Just dwell in the present like Arculi says

    We are in a nightmare, but the guys and gals overthere are desperate.  It is so bad.  One last thing, there was another squad deployed same time as my son (6 in a squad) 3 died within the first 3 months, the 4th soldier was well in totaly dispair.  They moved him in with my son, and my son keeps him good and going, but that's because we support our son and we can, so many have no one, just let them know you care, you can't pass judgement we can only get through this and save lives by supporting them as much as possible xo.

    by IngeniousGirl on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 12:04:39 AM PDT

    •  I agree

      Every one in the Armed Forces deserves to know that there is some way out for their emotions, some salve for their troubles.  By proxy, we have put them in their prison.  It's our duty to spread that salve until we can get them out.

      by Arculi on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 12:08:42 PM PDT

      •  I soo agree

        by IngeniousGirl on Sun Mar 30, 2008 at 04:04:28 PM PDT

•  Think of what we are turning these soldiers into.

  No 19 year old should see and experience what these soldiers have been through.
  I'm thinking they may come home, but in their minds, they always be in Iraq.

  by jimreyn on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 02:01:41 AM PDT