Our Top Story Today: Wave that Junk to Impress the Ladies! Recent studies of Amazon River dolphins have revealed that the males of that species woo females by grasping water grass or even tree branches between their teeth and displaying their prizes in a ritualistic way. The behavior had previously been documented only with chimpanzees and humans, but the dolphins use it with more subtlety. Cue the theme music! Let's go to press!
The Alton Weekly Inquirer! News from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley! ("Up my alley?"Up YOURS!)
Brock Olivo: Pure. Comedy. Gold: The minimeister of the MO-9 Republican race spoke at the recently held Boone County Lincoln Days event. He sounded like.....well, just watch for yourself:
"I will stand up to the special interests. And make no mistake, when I stand up to something, it stands DOWN."--Brock Olivo
Please, please, please let this man with the Republican primary. Not only does it make the seat easier for the good guys to win, it ensures even more comedy gold right through November! (via Show Me Progress)
Dialing up the ringers for Clinton: Hillary Clinton is making an appearance in Hammond, Indiana today, in the northwest part of the state not far from Chicago. It seems her campaign is having a leetle trouble generating a turnout, so they're contacting voters--in Illinois!
mrs. bored, a longtime democratic activist, received a robocall from hillary clinton "herself." but you can understand why. first, washington high school rejected the clinton campaign's request to hold a rally there (in south bend). then 25 indiana legislators, including it's hispanic member, endorsed barack obama. many of them are from northwest indiana, where hillary is struggling to fill the auditorium.
And we're supposed to throw the nomination to her why? Pathetic.
An interesting bit of symmetry, symbiosis, symbolism, or something, with last week's church cock story:Jacksonville Confidential found this listing on Petfinder.com for a couple of roosters:
Deciding that they were not going to adhere to normative chicken social conventions Julius and Big Daddy have chosen one another as companions. Thus, against the odds, we are seeking a rooster-savvy home where they can stay together for the rest of their days. Big Daddy is julius' protector, and at night he roosts over Julius like a mama hen sitting on a brood of chicks! Obviously the idea of separating these guys is just too heartbreaking to even consider!
Yes, AWI readers, gay comfirmed bachelor roosters! (Perhaps Julius Rooster crowed, "I am not gay" as he was hauled out of the chicken coop. Speaking of which, has Charlie Crist been overdoing it on the preening lately? (via Pensito Review)
I can't wait to see this bad boy on NBC's The Biggest Loser! The Gateway Grizzlies, a minor league baseball team just south of us in Sauget, Illinois, will introduce what they bill as baseball's best burger when their season opens this May:
The ballpark sandwich will include a hamburger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon -- all between a "bun" made of a sliced Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut.
They hope to sell 100-200 of these 1,000 calorie, 45g of fat behemoths each game night. Me, I think I'll stick with a classic ball park hot dog, thanks.
I don't care if he's black, white, yellow or pink with purple polka dots. He hasn't even completed his first term in Congress, so his state record is all we have to go on.
As I said before, it was Islamic radicals who attacked us on 9/11. I worry about anyone who has even a semblance of sympathy for Islam. Until radical Islamic extremists are removed from power, then I will not support anyone who seeks closer relations with Islamic governments.
As to whether Obama is Muslim or not, I do not know, but am unwilling to vote for someone who may be.
Ooooh, but wouldn't you love the cognotive dissonance of him living in either Keith Ellison's or Andre Carson's CD? 'Twould be a thing of beauty, that. Plus I love his variation on the old "is it irresponsible to speculate? It's irresponsible not to" Drudgism. (At least I think it was Drudge.)
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