Obama Wins Texas and Ohio - GENERAL ELECTION!!!

Based on NOTHING at all, but my own audacity of hope, I am predicting a HUGE win in TX, a squeaker in OH and a GE win that has not been seen since, well, ever.

And just to back that up, I've done some polling of my own.

Among Middle Aged White Scotsmen with Nineteen Seventies Hairstyles and Fu Manchu Moustaches, Obama comes in at 100% in Indiana.  There is no MOE.  

Among Middle Aged Hot Looking Swiss Blonde Women who were Foolish Enough to Marry Middle Aged White Scotsmen with Nineteen Seventies Hairstyles and Fu Manchu Moustaches, Obama again comes in at 100% in Indiana.  Again, no MOE whatsoever.

So there you have it.

Here's where I extrapolate some data:

By coming in at 100% in these two KEY demographics in Indiana, I can extrapolate that in Texas, Obama should win by a very large margin.  How large?  Using scientific methods, I have determined that his margin will be substantially larger than a breadbox, and probably not quite as big as a '78 Dodge Charger.  

Ohio?  I would say that it is more likely that Obama will win the big cities, and small towns whose hicks are out hunting wabbits.  Look for Hillary to take districts that have an abundance of yellow houses, two-car garages and rusty swingsets, giving a new meaning to the term "swing voter."

Update:

I've never done this before, but doesn't my update put me higher on the page?

Ha!

Take that, Grey Goose!

•  I'm SKEERED!

  by zreeb on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:10:02 AM PDT

  •  Too scared to even wet my pants! nt

    by iconoclastic cat on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:10:56 AM PDT

•  Thanks for humor.

  It's badly needed.

  by iconoclastic cat on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:10:06 AM PDT

  •  It's really all I have to offer

    I'm not a well-informed man.

    by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:17:04 AM PDT

  •  That was humor?

    It was about as good as some of the polls I have seen!  And Obama did win Virginia, which based on my poll of myself (sample size of 1), I predicted correctly.

    by clambake on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:24:44 AM PDT

    •  You know, I get that question a lot

      It always suprises me.  It makes me fairly irritated to, but I usually rub some creme on it.

      by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:26:32 AM PDT

      •  Not a dig at your humor

        which I enjoyed immensely.  Just that there has been a lot of poor polling this year.

        by clambake on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:27:39 AM PDT

        •  No, you can dig at my humor

          but be careful.  That might just make it spread.

          by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:34:00 AM PDT

•  Not a chance: Hillary played this card...

  by CanAm on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:10:49 AM PDT

  •  Here

    http://www.americanlynching.com/...

    by CanAm on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:12:32 AM PDT

    •  What is that suppose to mean? n/t

      by leftbird on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:16:53 AM PDT

      •  I'm hoping they meant it in a "good" way

        Otherwise it would really bother me.

        by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:17:34 AM PDT

      •  It's a pamphlet put out during Reconstruction..

        meant to scare whites about Negro rule

        by CanAm on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:19:07 AM PDT

        •  OK but why put it in this diary? n/t

          by leftbird on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:20:22 AM PDT

          •  Because he's not gonna win Ohio

            Because people still believe that shit and Hillary is using it against him.

            by CanAm on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:23:06 AM PDT

            •  I don't know what you're talking about...

              but the cartoon looks racist to me.

              by leftbird on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:29:40 AM PDT

              •  Read this

                http://www.dailykos.com/...

                by CanAm on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:30:18 AM PDT

                •  That's an opinion piece; plus...

                  I don't read "code." I don't see it, could luck with that anyway:-)

                  by leftbird on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 12:00:33 PM PDT

            •  Oooh, no no no no no no no no no no no no no

              That is fearful thinking.  We are NOT going there today.

              This diary is about Obama WINNING Texas and Ohio.  I'm not interested in comments about him NOT WINNING those states.

              I've been to Ohio.  (I live in Indiana, so it's right across the border.)

              It's the scariest place I've ever been, and I've been to KANSAS!

              (twice!)

              But scary is not cool today.  We don't do scary.

              We are going to go into this with the AUDACITY OF HOPE, and if it somehow turns out WRONG, we will move on.  But what we WON'T do is get down.

              This is a MOVEMENT.

              Movements have to MOVE, or they would be misnamed.

              by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:30:13 AM PDT

              •  The Hope bubble is about to be burst...

                We might as well all just recognize it now.

                America was built on racism and injustice.

                Ohio is about to remind us all of that.

                I'm sorry.

                I wanted to believe, too.

                But I don't anymore.

                by CanAm on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:35:11 AM PDT

                •  Dude, you are in serious need

                  of a complete attitude overhaul.

                  Ohio Oh-SCHIM-oh.

                  This is the land of the free
                  and the Home of the Brave

                  Just because some jerkoffs who don't belong here wanna get their groove on doesn't mean it's not.

                  by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:43:55 AM PDT

                  •  I am utterly demoralized after what I saw on...

                    60-minutes

                    When she said, "I will be the nominee," I saw her dark evil soul.

                    Tomorrow will be her Night of the Long Knives

                    by CanAm on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:47:10 AM PDT

•  Survey USA....

  OH:
  Clinton: 54%
  Obama:   44%

  by JustinL on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:12:03 AM PDT

  •  This poll is unreliable.

    I don't see where they polled even ONE Middle Aged White Scotsmen with Nineteen Seventies Hairstyles and Fu Manchu Moustache living in Indiana.

    I don't waste my time with polls like that.

    Please troll-rate yourself for posting that on this thread.  I don't have the power.

    by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:14:55 AM PDT

    •  Oh yeah?

      Well in CA Sen. Clinton captured 100% of the middle-aged one-legged homos in Utilikilts vote!

      So there!

      by homogenius on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:25:08 AM PDT

•  So we having the celebration before the vote?

  Why is that?

  Was there a conflicting celebration scheduled after the vote?

  by sonofdonkeykong on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:13:40 AM PDT

  •  Before AND after

    No good celebration can be as short as you are insinuating.  If they don't go on for days, less people get laid.  Are you sure you're an American?

    by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:16:03 AM PDT

•  More poll results here!

  Three out of three voting-age residents of xxxx xxxxxxx Avenue in xxxxxx, Ohio intend to vote for Obama!

  by Man in the Middle on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:16:32 AM PDT

  •  Now see?

    How hard was that?  These freaks at Zogby and American Fool are overpaid.

    I have a definitive Harris poll from 1978 that shows I'm fun at parties.

    by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:18:37 AM PDT

•  I have seventies hair...

  and I had a fu manchu fer a week.  Can I be included in your poll?

  by BuyLocal on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:21:28 AM PDT

  •  Only if you are giving me the result I want

    If you are voting for Obama, you can be in my poll.

    by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:31:05 AM PDT

    •  SWEET!

      I'm all in.   I feel the Omentum here in Missouri.

      by BuyLocal on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:35:09 AM PDT

•  People Its All About Turn Out Strength Is In

  Numbers so this should make everyone work twice as hard and not take anything for granted.

  Obama Supporters will be very motivated.

  While Hillarys will stay home thinking they won OH, its a win win for Obama.

  by DFutureIsNow on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:25:40 AM PDT

  •  I can only recommend this post once

    must be a software glitch.

    The people are in the trenches, working their asses off.  Let's have some faith in them.

    I'm not really trying to show false optimism here.

    I'm trying to be funny, and keep it together.

    Bottom line is, we just need a shitload of people to get out and vote Obama.

    by mellowinman on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:32:25 AM PDT

    •  I Cant Recommend Period. Some Admin Needs To Work

      On the software.

      by DFutureIsNow on Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 10:36:54 AM PDT