Don't Be A D*ck (Like Me)
Mon Mar 03, 2008 at 06:05:30 AM PDT
Yep, I'm a dick.
See, back in 2004 I was sitting on the bed in a hotel room in Portland, OR, getting dressed and mentally preparing for a night of brazen debauchery. The Democratic convention was on the TV but I wasn't really watching it-- too excited about partying with a bunch of old friends I rarely see. The tube was just background noise.
Then this skinny black dude from some place like Illinois or Michigan or something was introduced and started to speak. I started listening, still focused on getting out the door and down to the bar, ASAP. Then he spoke a little more and I was transfixed. There it was. The searing, optimistic vision that, as a GenXer, I'd heard a million times in clips from MLK, JFK, and RFK's best speeches but had concluded that I'd never hear from a leader in my lifetime. And yet, there it was.
And he kept speaking-- throwing thunderbolt after rhetorical thunderbolt at the stupid "red/blue" divisions that have pitted Americans against one another for my entire life. As he left the podium I sat there on the cheesy hotel bed, one shoe off one shoe on, with tears streaming down my face. There was no one else in the room but the words just spilled out of me, anyway:
"Keep you head down, brother, 'cause your going to be my president some day."
I felt silly for saying it but I'll never forgot that moment.
::
Less than four years later, what had seemed so silly to my own ears that evening in the hotel room actually seemed within reach. That same skinny dude with the big phat vision was now a major contender for the Democratic nomination. More improbably, my vote in the CA primary would actually count in the nominating process. For the first time in my life I was charged up for a presidential candidate, not merely desperate to block his or her opponent.
My excitement grew as the Feb. 5 primary approached. The polls were trending favorably and the air in my very blue SoCal district was crackling. It seemed that everyone I spoke with was on board and the tidal wave of excitement appeared unstoppable. Still, I've been around long enough to know not to take anything for granted. I steered every conversation I could in the direction of politics and used the opportunity to advocate for my candidate. I wheedled my boss into registering to vote at his new address. I spammed my friends and cow orkers with amazing videos and exciting press stories. I bragged to my geek friends about how that same skinny dude was running the most tech-savvy campaign in American history; using the Web to lower the barrier to participation and empowering citizens to take an active interest in political life.
In short, I was dick.
Its not that anything I did was wrong or rude or disrespectful-- far from it-- its what I didn't do that made me a dick.
I didn't keep reminding myself that polls are just polls and that what matters is votes on election day. I praised the Obama campaign's website and all its useful tools but I didn't actually use any of them. I didn't push beyond my comfort zone to phonebank or block-walk for my beloved candidate. In the end, I didn't do anything more than I would normally have done for any Democratic candidate.
And that skinny dude, Senator Barack Obama lost here in California.
Now, I'm not a total narcissist: I know that what I personally did or didn't do didn't cost him a victory in CA. But as I read the results the day after the primary here I couldn't help wondering if things had been different if I'd only done a little more, worked a little harder. More to the point, I had to wonder how many people there were like me in this state who only played politics-as-usual: risking nothing new and counting on others to do the heavy-lifting.
If you are totally in the tank for Obama and you are sitting in Texas or Ohio as you read this, I implore you to take my story as a cautionary tale. Everyone knows that it sucks to lose; but its a very special kind of suck when you lose and you know in your heart-of-hearts that you could have done more.
Its not too late. Texans, get yourself over to Obama's Texas page. Ohioans, there's a page for you, too. Get your asses over there and find a way to help. Don't accept that the poll trends will hold. Don't buy in to the notion that excitement is enough. Don't miss an opportunity to grow beyond your comfort zone.
Don't be a dick, like me.
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