Who I am And Why I Fight

Sometimes a moment presents itself that perfectly expresses such a wide range of emotions that it leaves you fairly breathless.

I had a moment like this last night while I was watching TV.  I thought to myself, if someone asked me to sum up for them who I was and where I'm coming from, I would point to this.  So I'm pointing now.

More over the fold.

The show I was watching was Idol Gives Back.  Yes, I watch American Idol.  I do generally enjoy it, and yes, I'm aware that it gets a bad rap here at Daily Kos as being emblematic of what people ARE doing as opposed to what they SHOULD be doing.  I hear ya, and hopefully if you've known me over the past years and diaries and comments here at dKos, I am exempted from the harshest scorn.

So here's the moment:

Do you recognize that song?  It was originally written and performed by George Michael, off of his Listen Without Prejudice album.  That has ALWAYS been one my favorite albums, and it was also not very commercially successful.  "Praying for Time" is, to me, one of the most beautiful, immaculate, cynical, hopeful, and hopeless songs ever written.  Let me help you with the lyrics:

These are the days of the open hand
They will not be the last
Look around now
These are the days of the beggars
And the choosers

This is the year of the hungry man
Whose place is in the past
Hand in hand with ignorance
And legitimate excuses

The rich declare themselves poor
And most of us are not sure
If we have too much
But we'll take our chances
Because God stopped keeping score
I guess somewhere along the way
He must have let us all out to play
Turned his back and all gods children
Crept out the back door

And its hard to love,
Theres so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above
Say its much too late
Well maybe we should all be
Praying for time

This is the year of the empty hand
Oh you hold on to what you can
And charity is a coat you wear
Twice a year

These are the days of the guilty man
Your television takes a stand
And you find that what was over there
Is over here

So you scream from behind your door
Say whats mine is mine and not yours
I may have too much
But Ill take my chances
Because God stopped keeping score
And you cling to the things
They sold you
Did you cover your eyes when
They told you
That he cant come back
Because he has no children
To come back for

And its hard to love,
Theres so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above
Say its much too late
Well maybe we should all be
Praying for time

Sometimes such a small thing in such an unexpected setting leaps up to remind me that that it IS my job, as much as possible, to think about, care about, and try to help the least among us.  It is ALL of our jobs.  We don't save Bear Stearns and call ourselves heroes - we save a life by buying a mosquito net and then go quietly about our day.  We become enraged when we hear about everyday people being cast aside by society, being tacitly told that they are somehow less important in the grand scheme of things than someone with greater income.

It's also a small thing that reminds me that I don't do nearly enough.  It is a moment of deep personal shame for me, to realize that the reason I'm crying is because, sometimes, I'm part of the problem.  But it also renews me, lights a fire under me to work harder - whether that's in donating to worthy causes, volunteering my own personal time, or supporting those whom I believe truly feel the same way.

That song is who I am.  It's the best and worst of me rolled into one.  It's my principles and values laid bare.  And I fight because I know that there are leaders out there - ones I believe in - who watched that and cried at the same time that I did.  I'll fight for them because they'll FIGHT, and because they, too, share a sense of responsibility to care for the least among us with dignity and respect.

That's all I really had to say.  I hope it made a little sense.

•  My favorite human charity

  The ONE Campaign

  by RenaRF on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:42:37 AM PDT

  •  We know who you are and we like ya.

    You're a true liberal and a human compass-point for many.

    by malharden on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:46:42 AM PDT

    •  Thanks Mal. :)

      My husband often laments the fact that I would be thrilled if we won the lottery.  He says something along the lines of, "what would you do with all that money?" And my answer is always the same.  I'd be able to dedicate myself full-time to humanitarian concerns.  I'd be able to sponsor inner-city classes to send them to college.  I'd be able to live my own personal dream.  Then he shuts up.  :)

      by RenaRF on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:49:46 AM PDT

      •  Maybe he thought

        you would say 'new drum set' LOL.

        Seriously, we know you, and we care, and I personally don't care what you watch on TV. Just keep on making music for the rest of us.

        We would be lost without your impassioned essays here.

        by Dems2004 on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:52:44 AM PDT

        •  He's already getting a damned

          new set.  :)  He had DWs after YEARS of Yamaha recording custom and now he's going BACK to the Yamahas.  (sigh).  :D

          by RenaRF on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:54:20 AM PDT

      •  Pretty cool!

        I keep telling my wife I'd like to teach technology to kids.

        If money were no object I'd open a foundation to infuse technology into elementary schools...then middle schools.

        My geek is showing :-)

        by malharden on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:53:36 AM PDT

        •  I take it you've seen

          Negroponte's brilliant laptop designed to throw its own network and generate and store its own power so that it can be used anywhere on the globe in even the most remote places?  It's designed to bring education to children in the poorest parts of the earth.  I LOVE the whole geeky thing.

          by RenaRF on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:56:06 AM PDT

          •  Is this the

            $100 laptop thing project?

            by Dems2004 on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:57:26 AM PDT

            •  Yep.

              Great project that hasn't gotten much press.

              by RenaRF on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 12:00:21 PM PDT

      •  The first thing I would do

        would be to write a $2,300 check to Barack Obama, followed by similar checks to about a dozen progressive congressional candidates.
        I would do everything in my power to elect people on every level who are progressive, populist and humanitarian because we need systemic change, not bandaids.

        by anastasia p on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:59:01 AM PDT

        •  Agree.

          So when I head to Philly to canvass a week from Saturday, that's what will be on my mind as well.  Off-election cycle I tend to gravitate to Doctors without Border, ONE, and the mosquito net (malaria) charities.  On-cycle, I shift $ to candidates I believe in.

          by RenaRF on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 12:01:38 PM PDT

  •  I thought I knew you before...

    now I know you a little better.  Thanks.

    Ya you becha we can! (Wisconsin for Obama)

    by tundraman on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:49:26 AM PDT

    •  Big Taylor and Kelly fan here. :)

      Always liked Carrie Underwood but not a big country fan.  Last night, though, she held a mirror to my face.  And I also read, to her credit, that she had much trouble getting through that song with sobbing.

      by RenaRF on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:50:40 AM PDT

  •  Great Diary!

    I watch Idol and love it.  I know a few others here that do also!  Although I didn't watch all of it last night, I did catch Carrie's performance, which was awesome.  Thanks for sharing the lyrics.  Had no clue it was a George Michael song.

    Like you, last night reminded me that there are others less fortunate than me.  I had a pang or two myself.  Good thing the tissues were close by.

    HUGS RenaRF!  :-)

    by Common Sense Mainer on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 12:42:28 PM PDT

•  Mixed up

  is what this diary causes.  Combine author (renowned), artist (odd), words (profound), and TV show (dud), and you have some seriously mixed reactions, at least from this reader.  

  Praying for time.

  by huckleberry on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:52:02 AM PDT

  •  Yeah.

    Enigma in a conundrum and all that.  :)

    by RenaRF on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:53:13 AM PDT

•  no matter what

  you are always worth a read.  Thanks again.

  by kay dub on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:56:26 AM PDT

  •  Thanks back. :)

    Plus I wanted to share that moving performance.  Annie Lennox had another last night that was beyond moving:

    by RenaRF on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:58:18 AM PDT

•  Thanks for the reminder

  of why I support the arts. Lovely diary.

  by sanglug on Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 12:09:12 PM PDT