What Reel 'Merkuns Thought About That ABC Debait

Although I’m a real patriotic ‘Merkun, I have to admit that I usually don’t watch no boring politics on TV nor elsewhere.

As luck would have it (or, truth be told, the Good Lord), I just finished my last romance novel and left with nuthin’ to do ... so I wound up turning on the tube and I was right delightedly surprised at this debate thing you was airin’.

Finally, you boys asked the questions that folks like myself and many other true ‘Merkuns want answers too – no ifs ands or butts.

First off, I been wonderin’ about that loophole flag pin thing for a while now myself – and damn if that wasn’t one of your first and most important questions to ask that Hussane guy!

Patriotic ‘Merkuns like me understand that people who love our country wear those loophole flag pins all the time.  Why you can bet that the Cheney, Rumsfield and Rice folks had ‘em proudly displayed the hole time they was at those torturin’ meetings discussing how we don’t really torture nobody.  (wink wink)

But I did wonder why you folks askin’ the questions wasn’t wearing any themselves ... or Hillry neither for that matter.  But I just suppose you just din’t want to embarrass that Brack Hussane fella by making it obvious that he wasn’t sporting one like we all know he shoulda.

I was especial thrilled that you asked about peoples reverends and there opinions and such – ‘cause this is a topic that is near and deer to my heart.  And I’d like to set a couple of things strait.

Everybodys been saying that this Reverand Right fella was the first one to blame Amerika itself after 9-11.

But that ain’t true.  There just ignorin’ the fact that it was real Christians like the Rev. Falwell and the Rev. Robertson who blamed Americaka first for allowing all those ... hmmmm ... "happy" folks (I forgot what I’m supposed to call ‘em) to live here in sin, like it says right there in the Good Book, long before this Right guy said a word.

So I’m glad the record is finally being set strait on that point.  (All though you really didn’t mention it neither, but I got your drift.  I can tell you just hate it when uppity folks go and try to steel someone elses credit for things they didn’t say or do.)

Not havin’ seen to much of Hillry or the Hussane fella to date, I was taken a back by there presentations of themselfs.  Seems to me (and no, I am not a professional puntid or any such!) that he looked annoyed that you was asking such good questions, and she looked as happy as a pig-in-slop being as she can’t afford no professional-made adds and was finally getting’ her say-so in there for free.  (Jest like me – I’m always looking for a bargain.)

But truth be told, you did the Damocrats a favor they won’t soon be fogettin’.  The # 1 reason why folks like me vote republikan every time is because those Damocrats wanna talk over our heads ‘bout stuff like the economy, recess, healthcare, and our constitunal writes (whatever those are) and other like stuff that no one wants to here about.  It just gives us folks a headache to even try and think about stuff like such.

The idea that you made them discuss the real issues facing us real ‘Merkuns today was just what the doctor ordered – and if I could afford to actually go to a doctor, I’m sure he’d agree.

Needless to say (but you know me, I’m going to say it anyways!), I look forward to your next one of these shows and hope you will take some suggestions for questions to be asked, because I got some good ones – like what astronomical sign these folks are, and there favrite color, and weather they are cat-people or dog-people.  Why my list just goes on and on.

Regular folks like myself want to know the answers to stuff like this, and I hope you won’t disappoint us by boring us with askin’ any more stuff about Irak, or the economy, or that other nonsense that politicians want to diskuss when ain’t no real ‘Merkun wants to listen to it.

So thanks again for lookin’ out for the folks that don’t give a hoot who gets presidented next, so long as good shows like yours and ‘Merkun Idol get put on the TV on a regular basis.

Yours Truly from a fan of fine programin’ like yours ...

Mrs. Patty O’Furnishure

P.S. If you could just possibly work in some type of grand prizes (and maybe a constellation prize for that loser gal), plus maybe some music from a "house band" during your next show, I think you'd get yourselfs an Oskar (or is it a Noble – or maybe an Enema ... I get all them prizes confused) like you deserve!

(Major credit & h/t to Nance Greggs over at Democratic Underground)

•  Equal Opportunity Insults Provided FREE [n/t]

  by dmhlt 66 on Sat Apr 19, 2008 at 09:45:53 AM PDT

•  Y'know?

  It wasn't rednecks who asked those "questions".  It was rich guys in suits, most likely taking orders from other rich guys in suits.

  The kind of "elitism" heartlanders truly take offense at is exactly this sort of bigotted crap, not someone pointing out that we're bitter.  This is exactly the sort of attitude that turned rural voters away from Kerry, Gore, and Dukakis.  If you wrote something like this about black folks you'd be Don Imus.

  Maybe you ought to try to stop thinking you're better than other people.  You're not.  Maybe you have more money or got to spend more time in school, but it doesn't make you superior to anybody.  

  I know you meant well, but this is crap.

  The people who made the democratic party strong in the last century are exactly the people you think you're so much better than.  Why don't you go out and meet a few of us.  

  Do you ever wonder why so many heartlanders hate your party.

  by Urizen on Sat Apr 19, 2008 at 11:08:25 AM PDT

  •  I think you missed the "parody" in the tags

    Ever since Jonathan Swift came up with the article about baby recipes to help solve the Irish population problem, articles like this have come out, been misunderstood and enjoyed.

    by daddybunny on Sat Apr 19, 2008 at 11:15:27 AM PDT

    •  Imus was joking too, wasn't he?

      I mean, he thought he was being really funny.

      I saw the tags.  I didn't feel like this crap quite rose to the level of dean Swift.  Absense of cleverness, I spoze.  Or maybe a redneck hillbilly like me is just to stupid to get such a sophisticated bit of incredibly subtle humor.

      by Urizen on Sat Apr 19, 2008 at 11:25:56 AM PDT

  •  Y'know...

    Gore won 6 races in the rural south state of TN, the last one in 1990 with a landslide all-county victory. The 2000 election had HUGE adverse factors that were not of Gore's making.

    "This is exactly the sort of attitude that turned rural voters away from Kerry, Gore, and Dukakis."

    You're employing the same BS spin against Democrats that the rightwing has speciously employed and Hillary Clinton shamelessly did recently.

    Gore is a down to earth kinda guy (as seen in this video) that's in touch with what matters for America and the planet.

    Kerry had a hard time connecting with rural voters because the rightwing painted him as a "Northeastern liberal" and they baited the southern/rural/religious voters with tangential issues like guns, abortion and gay marriage (as Obama accurately stated in his remarks).

    Even Dukakis would've been a far better President than either Bush.

    Gore is not a natural politician (like WJC and Obama), but he's a good guy that's solidly grounded in values, ideals, vision and ideas to make the world a better place (as is Obama to a high degree) and some strong results to show for it.

    Spinning false rightwing trash to smear Democrats is trollish conduct. When will you stop doing that? When you stop, I look forward to paying respect to you and your participation in this community.

    by NeuvoLiberal on Sat Apr 19, 2008 at 11:43:29 AM PDT

•  couldn't help but notice

  The lady who asked the question about the pin wasn't wearing one herself either....

  Well, maybe it's a guy thing and "ladies" aren't supposed to wear them.

  Thanks for the snarkfest.

  by daddybunny on Sat Apr 19, 2008 at 11:10:23 AM PDT