My Prayer for GW Bush, Cheney, et al

So my preacher, as a matter of course, asks our congregation to pray for our leaders. It's not that I go to a conservative church--quite the opposite. Our preacher rails against the war from the pulpit. He critiques the administration's response to poverty, social welfare, etc. But he always asks us to pray for our leaders.

I've been pondering that, and have settled on my prayer. Here is it:

Dear God:

What the fuck?

OK, God. I realize I've not been the best of Your followers. But I have to say, You're asleep at the wheel.

You are supposed to be about compassion. And if one takes the Old Testament to heart, alot of smiting and plagues. [And hey, I've urged my pastor to follow some of Your commands more closely, but he's not interested.]

Dude . . . . Get to it. For several years now, millions of people have been praying for You to give guidance to the leaders of the United States. I don't know if You haven't been listening, or if You are into some kind of "Deism hands-off" kind of thing.

As an evangelical Taoist, I'm not quite sure how to approach any of this. I go to church, sure. But part of it is a social thing--I live in a small town. I mean, I believe in a historical Jesus. But alot of the church-based hyperbole is way beyond me.

Sorry. I'm straying here. The point is, You've got the most powerful nation in the world run by a bunch of whackos. If there were ever a group of people leading this country who went more against Your message, I can't tell.

So, I'm not sure what to pray for. Guidance doesn't seem to work, especially when they can just get some half-pint lawyer to come up with a legal brief giving them guidance they want to hear.

So, I repeat, WTF? Are You doing this on purpose? Is this what they mean when they say that Your ways are mysterious? Cause, let me just say--I'm mystified. OK? Done.

And if that's all it takes--put an end to it already. Not in a smiting sort of way. Just keep Your eye out for this guy named Barack Obama down here. He does good work. Remember us in November.

Amen.

[PS, can I pay taxes like this?]

•  A prayer for the rest of us.

  by AndrewMC on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:26:53 PM PDT

•  wtf?

  I hope you are drinking?  Anyway, it sounds like your minister has a good head.  I don't know about "evangelical Taoists", but praying for those who lead our country is a standard prayer, it has nothing to do with agreeing with them.

  Btw, believing in an "historical Jesus" has nothing to do with religion.  To not believe in the historical Jesus is Ahistorist, not Atheist.

  anyway, the diary did ammuse me I guess :)

  by TurkeyCreek on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:34:03 PM PDT

•  Sure

  I know he doesn't agree with them. He thinks they're nuts.

  Odd thing is, he went to college with Tony Snow, and remains good friends. Mystified by his politics, yes.

  And yes, I know the standard prayer. I just got to thinking.

  by AndrewMC on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:36:30 PM PDT

•  I love "Dear God, What the fuck?"

  Cracked me up.  Thanks.

  by LithiumCola on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:42:42 PM PDT

  •  Thanks

    In fact, after the reacher called for a prayer, that was the very first thing that came into my head. everything after that was lagniappe.

    by AndrewMC on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:44:19 PM PDT

    •  You need to turn that into a t-shirt

      Seriously! That cracked me up, too...and I'm an atheist. ;-)

      by Spathiphyllum on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 07:00:59 PM PDT

•  May God Bless And Keep President Bush...

  ... Far Away From Us! Ok Hillary, I admit I plagiarized from "Fiddler On the Roof".
  But if God really loves Bush & Cheyney, why does he leave them down here? Is he afraid W is going to bogart the ambrosia? Is he afraid Dick will invade Hell? Come on, God--you'll love having a beer with them. And while you're at it, remember that Hillary loves a Jack with a beer back. Amen.

  by FredNietzsche on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:52:08 PM PDT

  •  yep

    But if God really loves Bush & Cheyney, why does he leave them down here?

    As Peter Tosh once said, "Everybody wants to go to Heaven, nobody wants to die."

    by AndrewMC on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:53:35 PM PDT

•  My prayer is that a just God

  will requite them according to their works. That's all.

  by revbludge on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:52:41 PM PDT

  •  Ha

    I'd recommend this twice, if I could.

    by AndrewMC on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:53:57 PM PDT

  •  Fortunately for them

    I've heard G-d is merciful.  Which is more than I can say for myself, at least in their case.

    As for me, I pray for wisdom.  They could certainly use some.

    by marykk on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 08:25:58 PM PDT

•  Actually, Bush is one reason

  Why I've had uhm issues w/God.

  by Shhs on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 07:08:20 PM PDT

•  My prayer for GW, one simple request.

  May a nearsighted Islamic neofascist terrorist park a bus up his ass. Not a toy bus but the real thing. Now I know that's wishful thinking and physically impossible, however I've been told "the lord works in mysterious ways". Maybe  if he would answer this one prayer I could believe, otherwise WTF about covers it.  

  by AuntieM on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 08:49:00 PM PDT

•  Don't Blame God...a joke a Pastor from my past

  loved to tell. [Forgive me, I tell jokes very badly and my memory is a little damaged]

  It's the story of the guy who, when arriving at the Pearly Gates was angry because he drown in a flood. St. Peter tried to calm him and reassure him that God had not forsaken him.

  "Did you hear the flood warning on the radio," asked St. Pete.

  "Yes," said the newly departed, "but I had faith that God would save me."

  "Did you turn down your neighbor's offer of a ride to dry land in his boat?"

  "Yes, but I prayed and had faith that God would save me."

  "Did you turn down the Helicopter ride when you were on your roof."

  "Yes, but I kept my faith and waited for God to save me."

  At this point God was heard to say, "I did not abandon you. I sent you a warning and two rides. You chose to ignore that which I offered."

  It's an old 'joke' and surely most can tell it better than I.

  My thought about "our leaders" is that they never shut up long enough to 'hear' the answer. You know the old saw that all prayers are answered. The answer may just not be what we want to hear.

  My point is that our leaders should STFU, but then I'm one of those 'free will' believers.

  by deMemedeMedia on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 09:16:13 PM PDT