Mr. Irrelevant foiled again

Once again, Alan Keyes' latest cry for attention has fallen on deaf ears. Our dear friend has lost the Constitution Party nomination for the presidency of these United States to a fellow named Chuck Baldwin, whose chief claim to fame appears to be being someone other than Alan Keyes.

From Reason:

It's a small but satisfying victory for two noble though possibly lost causes: the movement to end the occupation of Iraq and the transideological coalition to get Alan Keyes to shut up.

Indeed.

•  Wow, there's another Baldwin brother? n/t

  by illinifan17 on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:46:11 AM PDT

  •  Yes, he's the other, Other Baldwin brother.`

    They don't talk about him much.  He's the black sheep in a family of grayscale sheep all around.

    by WSComn on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:45:45 PM PDT

  •  Wait, it went to THIS Chuck Baldwin?

    http://www.covenantnews.com/...

    And I just checked -- it is this Chuck Baldwin!

    He's a hardcore extremist right wing Christianist -- but unlike most, he noticed that Bush was a total hypocrite, he cares about things like habeas corpus -- and he thinks Bush is imitating the techniques of the Antichrist!  I expect he will campaign hard against McCain, and I expect him to pick up a lot of Republican right-wing votes.

    Frankly, I'd rather have his brand of theocracy than John McCain's brand of corrupt fascism.

    Wow.  This could hurt the Republican party in so many ways.

    This is good news!  Really good news!

    by neroden on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:42:21 PM PDT

    •  Let's hope so.

      by homoaffectional on Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 01:29:25 AM PDT

•  They want to end Iraq?

  But didn't Bush say it was God's will to spread Democracy to the world?

  Looks like even the religious right is waking up on the Iraq occupation.

  by djtyg on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:46:26 AM PDT

•  I like when this nutcase is in the spotlight.

  Evil of me, I know, but he's just so hilarious....

  by Feanor on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:46:57 AM PDT

  •  Didn't Obama beat Keyes for his Senate seat

    by, like, 80 points?

    by calipygian on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:48:00 AM PDT

    •  In the words of John Stewart on Election night 04

      "I thought it would be a shutout.

      by Skulnick on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:00:47 PM PDT

  •  I am disappointed myself

    Perhaps we'll get to see Keyes lose an election for dogcatcher somewhere.

    by A Mad Mad World on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:29:58 PM PDT

•  Next target:

  Ralph Nader, who has inflicted more damage on this country than Alan Keyes could hope to in his wildest dream.

  by calipygian on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:47:14 AM PDT

  •  Let the left-wing witch hunt begin!

    The only way to victory is through blackballing!

    by krark on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:49:28 AM PDT

    •  where have you been

      and isn't that in essence what this primary has become?

      by FerrisValyn on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:51:56 AM PDT

    •  Naderites: the hunted or the hunters?

      Seems to me that back in 2000, what we heard from Ralph and his followers was that there wasn't enough difference between Gore and bush to care about which of the two got elected. Then or now, to claim that there's no difference between the two is to cling to a false standard of ideological purity. Nothing better signifies a witch hunt than such narrow-minded orthodoxy.

      by Nowhere Man on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:06:19 PM PDT

      •  On the issue of campaign financing

        There was a difference.  They both took enormous amounts of money from corporations and lobbyists.  Bush moreso of course, but Gore wasn't a saint either in this respect.

        Where they were wrong is in thinking that if Bush were elected, he'd be a one term president and be too ineffectual to do any lasting damage.  They were certainly wrong there, and I said as much at the time.

        But they also didn't think that Al Gore could possibly manage to lose to that nitwit.  And, well, he didn't really...  So save your hatred and loathing for the Bushies and their manipulations, and the supreme court that enabled them.

        by Hyuga on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:10:59 PM PDT

        •  Meant to say there was no difference

          And even then, there was a difference, just a small one, at least at the time.  

          by Hyuga on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:12:15 PM PDT

          •  So just because they both took money

            that means that they'd govern the same way on issues of interest to those corporations? That seems highly unlikely to me.

            To assume that bush and Gore would govern the same, you'd have to assume that the donations given to each were made with the same motivation and intent. That's a debatable proposition. More likely, in my mind, they gave to bush in the hope that he'd win, but gave to Gore out of fear that he'd win. That is, they feared that if he won and they had not donated to him, they'd be farther out in the cold than if he won and they had donated. That may well be true, but it doesn't mean that a donation gets them the comfy chair by the fireplace.

            Of course, we'll never know with certainty what might have been. But I stand by what I said above: to refuse to see the chasm that divides bush and Gore requires one to take a remarkably narrow-minded perspective.

            by Nowhere Man on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:23:24 PM PDT

        •  I still maintain

          that if it weren't for the terrorist attack, Bush would have been a one term president and too ineffectual to do any lasting damage. He was floundering badly before that and Congress was still standing up to him.

          And remember as well that that Al Gore of 2000 was not the Al Gore of today. He was running as a successor to Bill Clinton, center right, corporatist, DLC-style Democrat. Not the environment activist and populist he's become. (And maybe always was, but let his advisors scare him away from showing.)

          by thejeff on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:03:34 PM PDT

          •  Gore's environmental record was always 100%.

            Anyone who bothered to look at it could see it.  The fact that Nader and the Green Party either didn't look at it or pretended not to, was fundamentally wrong.  

            Frankly, if Nader had run on a "There's no difference between Clinton and Bush I" campaign -- it would have been a lot more true.  The differences between Gore and Bush II were vast and obvious.  And worse, Gore was a better candidate for the environment than Nader, and that was entirely obvious at the time.  That's why  the Green Party/Nader's 2000 "campaign" will be an eternal shame to both of them.

            by neroden on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 02:22:49 PM PDT

•  bringing people together

  the transideological coalition to get Alan Keyes to shut up.

  yes we can!

  by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:47:33 AM PDT

•  and MSNBC once gave this guy a show

  by Tuffie on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:49:06 AM PDT

  •  But Alan Keyes Was Making Sense™!

    by GreenSooner on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:59:25 AM PDT

    •  Most Surreal Show Title Ever n/t

      by aisling on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:21:00 PM PDT

•  Alan Keyes shut up?

  You get the impression that Alan Keyes thinks if he stops talking for more than a moment, he'll perish.

  I yap, therefore I am. - A. Keyes

  by smintheus on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:49:20 AM PDT

  •  HA!

    You get the impression that Alan Keyes thinks if he stops talking for more than a moment, he'll perish.

    Like Speed for reactionary blowhards!

    by RickMassimo on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:51:15 AM PDT

    •  To reference the old classic

      The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, he's realized that if his mouth stops moving, his brain may start working.

      by Rorgg on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:40:32 PM PDT

•  black people were going to rally around keyes

  by brettjay on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:49:32 AM PDT

  •  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

    You're too funny!

    by velvet blasphemy on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:59:49 AM PDT

•  Wait! Where is this guy from?

  I used to work with a man named Chuck Baldwin.

  It couldn't be him.

  by Brooke In Seattle on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:50:18 AM PDT

•  The thought sickens me

  :-)

  by bbrown8370 on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:51:29 AM PDT

•  This is actually bad for us...

  Not because Alan Keyes is good at ALL, but because some people in Dixiecrat and out west, but mainly dixiecrat states LIKE him, He could have pulled some votes from McCain.  

  CHuck Baldwin is a right wing author and radio host, but he will only get the "yellow Dog Constitutionalists" AKA 100-150,000 votes, not enough to do anything.

  We have to hope Bob Barr gets the Libertarian nod.  Yes That Bob Barr..

  by Losty on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:51:36 AM PDT

  •  Yea, I really wish he had gotten it as well

    it would've helped us, even just by a little bit, come Nov

    by FerrisValyn on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:53:03 AM PDT

  •  He'd pull McCain votes

    Plus, isn't it more entertaining keeping Keyes in this fight?

    by Kevin88101 on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:07:33 PM PDT

  •  Um... no...

    ... nobody likes him anywhere.  Not sure where you got the idea that people in dixiecrat states actually like Alan Keyes...

    by homoaffectional on Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 01:32:03 AM PDT

•  That is just rich!

  the transideological coalition to get Alan Keyes to shut up.

  Too funny! I had kind of hoped for him to be their nominee on one level though, you know, the enormous entertainment factor of Alan Keyes.

  by Jennifer Clare on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:51:36 AM PDT

  •  Where can I join?

    That's one coalition I can support without reservation.

    by carolita on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:22:34 PM PDT

    •  I think all of us here in the DKos are

      already honorary members!

      by WSComn on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:47:47 PM PDT

  •  His supporters are trying to get him

    to make an independent run.

    All ten of them.

    by Over the Edge on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 02:07:38 PM PDT

    •  Actually, there's only

      eight of them. Mr Keyes are the other two.

      --Shannon

      by Leftie Gunner on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 04:58:18 PM PDT

•  Don't worry, Alan;

  there's always the Republicans.

  by RickMassimo on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:51:38 AM PDT

•  You what would be awesome ...

  ... a debate between Keyes and Wright.

  I'd buy that on PPV!

  by Fozzie Bear on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:51:48 AM PDT

  •  Wright's off-the-cuff remarks are painful

    at times, but his most-repeated "blunders" usually rest on a firm rhetorical ground. In contrast, Keyes moved into his castle in the air long before now. I would sooner watch a cage match between Barack and Hillary than see Keyes and Wright in a forensic face-off.

    by Nowhere Man on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:12:29 PM PDT

•  I take this as an excuse...

  ... to link to my account of crashing Ambassador Keyes' 50th birthday party back in 2000:

  I crashed Alan Keyes' birthday party. OK, "crashed" isn't the optimal word, as anyone who wanted to go was allowed in. Anyone. It was just two blocks away from my office in distance, but a world away in spirit. My God, I haven't been in a room so free of irony and sarcasm since the time I accidentally stumbled into the Disney Store at the mall. These were the diehards. The true believers. The wing nuts not part of Dubya's sunny Republicanism.

  I ran into Orrin Hatch on the way in, but he was headed elsewhere. Oh, for shame -- wanted to thank him for his gift of music to the world. There was a table full of buttons for the taking. "I'm One of a Million! 1.1 million Americans voted for principle with Alan Keyes." And videotapes of Ambassador Keyes speaking, for free. Nice swag, but not nearly enough. I needed more.

  Into the room. Cake, ice cream, and a cash bar were available. And lots of white people. Lots of them. I felt, finally, like I was at an actual Republican event. Then the camera lights brightened, and Keyes came in, shaking my hand among others along the way. He spoke for about 10 minutes, thanking his staff and congratulating them all for keeping the ticket "nominally pro-life," stating that sometimes it's better to measure success by evils thwarted rather than victories won. Energetic as always and looking forward to staying quiet for a few months, he said. There was a guy with a big, official-looking "Keyes 2004" sign. We can only hope.

  After the blowing out of candles came schmoozing and pictures. I shook his hand, got my picture taken, and told him I admired his spirit. Or something like that. What was I supposed to say: "You're entertaining and all, but you know you're a joke, right?" or "How can you justify traveling the country on quadrennial futile quests, ranting about family values, while admitting how little time you actually get to spend with your family?"

  As I was leaving, I noticed that the balloons on the tables were secured by tote bags with objects in them. I untied a balloon and took one. There it was. A cream-colored tote bag with a picture of the Declaration of Independence, emblazoned with Keyes' face in the middle. The slogan: "Self-Evidently Presidential." Indeed.

  It's going on the wall.

  by Adam B on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:52:04 AM PDT

•  Respectfully, let's lay off confections

  like Alan Keyes and retrain our attention to the war and the Constitutional crisis.

  BarbinMD's diary on recent war dead and the raging battle in Sadr City is bumping along with 60 or so comments, and her diary yesterday on torture couldn't find 100 commenters.

  This grotesquely long primary season beaten down our attention to current affairs, which are every bit as grim and then some as they have been since 9/11.

  I'm as guilty as anyone of consuming and posting political junk food here, but we as a community need to get back to the grim business of our faltering nation.

  by Mogolori on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:52:21 AM PDT

•  Remember him singing?

  God, must have been '99 or 2000, but he was on some late night show and sang a song he wrote about...

  ...abortion.

  I'll check YouTube.

  Alan Keys is a funny guy, in a raving loon sort of way.

  by JR on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:53:28 AM PDT

  •  not this one...

    ...but still funny:

    by JR on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:55:19 AM PDT

    •  oh well, it was Leno in 2000

      ...but I can't find a video, which is REALLY a shame, because it was laugh-out-loud scary.

      by JR on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:00:25 PM PDT

•  It's about time

  that Reason lived to its name.

  by Nowhere Man on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:56:20 AM PDT

•  I really had looked forward to listening to Keyes

  at debates

  So much unintentional humor - He shall be missed.

  by sara seattle on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:57:03 AM PDT

•  Mike Glover, amateur journalist

  Mr. Glover wrote a cheezy piece of journalistic flash paper currently linked on the Yahoo! home page:
  http://news.yahoo.com/...

  My favorite part is this little kernel:

  Obama told reporters Tuesday that Wright's comments do not accurately portray the perspective of the black church.

  "The person I saw yesterday was not the person that I met 20 years ago," Obama said of the man who married him.

  How about... the man who officiated his wedding.  I don't think they have same-sex marriages in Illinois.  I could be wrong though, I haven't been paying attention that much...

  by Sussemilch on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:57:41 AM PDT

  •  Sweet baby Jeebus!

    I hope the MSM doesn't get a hold of that one!

    by Joes Steven on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:45:25 PM PDT

•  Surely this will be a real blow

  to the effort to return the selection of our Senators to the state legislatures.

  (Yes, that's a Keyes position.)

  by jazzmaniac on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:00:18 PM PDT

•  So...

  ...he's available as McBush's vp choice, then.

  by Randomfactor on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:00:24 PM PDT

  •  Oh please!

    That would be better than Condi!

    Oh, please please please!

    The "Batshit Crazy" ticket!

    by Moody Loner on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:18:05 PM PDT

•  Keyes is very useful

  to us Democrats.

  by ScottyUrb on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:07:21 PM PDT

•  After Obama's stomping of Keyes

  ... I did this:

  

  (in reference to pro wrestler "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's catchphrase)

  by bustacap on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:09:56 PM PDT

•  I think the afro-amer neocons are looking..

  by moondancing on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:10:52 PM PDT

•  Lets hope we keep our priorities straight...

  Or someone might wind up occupying Alan Keyes...

  (shudder)

  DFooK

  by deepfish on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:12:46 PM PDT

  •  double shudder!

    I asked Joe, he said no.

    by Joes Steven on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:42:17 PM PDT

•  Keyes could use the Eludium Q36 Space Modulator!

  Be careful and don't provoke him!

  by el cid on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:13:16 PM PDT

  •  As long as he isn't allowed to get his hands...

    on the Omega 8 we will all be fine. Did we ever figure out if it was a matter collapser or matter re-arranger?

    by ndhapple on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:20:57 PM PDT

•  "transideological coalition"...there's a phrase

  I'd like to see bush use in context...

  by darthstar on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:14:40 PM PDT

•  I thought David Vobora, linebacker from Idaho

  was Mr. Irrelevant this year.

  by kosophile on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:24:14 PM PDT

•  I'm disappointed

  Alan Keyes is a regular laff-riot.  You never know what that wild and crazy guy will say next!

  by JBL55 on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:37:08 PM PDT

  •  Let's look on the bright side - Chuck Baldwin,

    preacher/talk show host in the N FL/Alabama market.  Hours and hours of lunacy on tape!

    by msanthrope on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:56:56 PM PDT

    •  This could actually hurt McCain. Really.

      Baldwin will be sucking away votes in places where McCain probably thought he didn't even have to campaign.  Frankly I expect Baldwin will spend more time with anti-McCain rhetoric than with anti-Democratic rhetoric.

      by neroden on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 02:18:07 PM PDT

•  This diary needs a poll.

  Which is more irrelevant to American Politics:

  A) the Constitution Party

  B) Alan Keyes

  C) the Baldwin brothers

  by Its the Supreme Court Stupid on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:38:46 PM PDT

  •  Don't forget

    Pie.

    (It'll win, hands down!).

    by WSComn on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:48:31 PM PDT

    •  My bad! n/t

      by Its the Supreme Court Stupid on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:02:37 PM PDT

      •  loser n/t

        by Joes Steven on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:41:01 PM PDT

•  The diarist wrote that the nomination went to

  Chuck Baldwin, whose chief claim to fame appears to be being someone other than Alan Keyes.

  This is sort of like:

  "I am not Spartacus!"

  "I am even more not Spartacus"

  "Hey!  I was emphatically not Spartacus before any of you morans!"

  by trivium on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:08:49 PM PDT

•  Alan who?

  by stonepier on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:37:40 PM PDT

•  Talk about eletist!

  "transideological"?

  Since when did DK become "stump the pajama wearer's?"

  /snark

  by Joes Steven on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:40:14 PM PDT