I know that No Child Left Behind is not a hot topic right now, but I must share with you this wonderful snark that appeared in our Indiana State Teachers Association UniServ District 2F May 8 Newsletter (PDF).
It demonstrates the absurdity of a one-size-fits-all education policy inflicted on schools from the top down.
Snark below the fold.
Since the author is listed as "Unknown" in the newsletter, I am presenting the article in its entirety here:
NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND - FOOTBALL VERSION
- All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If after two years they have not won the championship, their footballs and equipment will be taken away until they do win the championship.
- All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time, even if they do not have the same conditions and opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest in football, a [lack of] desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!
- Talented players will be asked to work out on their own, without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability, or whose parents don't like football.
- Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th games.
This will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimum goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child gets left behind. If parents do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote for vouchers and support private schools that can screen out the non-athletes and prevent their children from having to go to school with bad football players.
As a public school high school teacher, I can tell you, that while this is snark, it contains an uncomfortable amount of truth.
I teach at-risk freshmen here at Kokomo (IN) High School. This year we instituted a new program in math and English classes for these kids. These classes have been limited to 15 students or less, which is a key first step. But it also means that teachers of other classes have seen their class sizes increase because we can't afford to hire additional teachers.
We are fortunate that we still have two Chrysler transmission plants and a Delphi Electronics plant which employ many UAW workers. However, many other industries here have closed their doors or moved to Mexico or to other locations outside the US. Newly renegotiated UAW contracts will pay new UAW workers half what they used to earn. Our unemployment rate is now 7%. We are shrinking as a town and as a school system. We are about to adopt a "District Facilities Use Plan" which will close several neighborhood schools and reduce our staff by 15-20% over the next 2-4 years. So I would add to the snark above that some teams will have the very best of modern equipment and weight rooms and great coaches while others will be using leather helmets, doing push ups to gain strength, and be coached by people who have never seen a football game.
The problems we deal with are enormous. Most of these at-risk students have severe problems at home. One parent homes, no parent homes, sexually and physically abusive homes, neglectful homes, etc. Many have no books, magazines or newspapers at home. Many have never been read to as children. Many come from homes where education is not valued. Almost all live in abject poverty.
My job? Simple. Make sure they pass the "Graduation Qualifying Exam" (GQE), the state test required for a high school diploma in IN. No quarter is given for any problems we might encounter, including non-English speaking students, students with learning disabilities, behavior disorders, emotional disorders, or even mental disorders (special education kids).
We are lucky. Right now we are not an extremely poor district. I have resources. We have a phenomenally dedicated counselor who leads our team. We try to address the needs of the whole child. Still, some fall through the cracks. They drop out--or are "home schooled" as the withdrawal form euphemistically says.
Education needs to be controlled by the states, counties, cities, and, especially, local school districts, not Washington, D.C. The federal government can help by making sure that funding is available to districts that need it most. We are on the right course at KHS, but to make everyone of our "football players" into champions requires more teachers, more resources, and more community support. We must make a real commitment to the whole child, not just to a single, high-stakes language and math proficiency test.
"Anyone who thinks that all fruits ripen at the same time as grapes . . . knows nothing about strawberries." --Paracelsus