I ,made a terribllle miss take and im lying on teh groound and i haave underppaants on my heead and I've drawn a bunni rabbit wit a Shaarpie pen on my cheeak and i thiink i may haave drunk dialedd myy fourth grayd teacher aand tolld her how HOOT shee wass.
Pleeas, pllees.
Only U have teh power to saave meeeeee!
See, whhat I did was-- whaat I did was--
God Mrs. Kreitzer was hot. Did i say thaat? Wheen she would kleen the chalk booard i jusst looved to look at her anklles...
Whaat was I wryting about?
Oh, yeah. Whhat I ddid was last night I oppened botttle of tequiiila and saiid I'd drynk a shott everytiime someone wrote a diareah abbout... abbout... I can't type her naame... I cann't beecause if I do i have to driink agian. i thought theere'd be two an hour or maybee fyve and hour, but-- but-- THEEY JUSST KEPPT COMING!
i've gonee through the tequillla and a bottle ov gin and twelve... thirteen... twenty-nine beeers and a bottle of peace schnapps frm when I was inb high school... graade schoo... OK when I was niine. And als0--
Haaavve I told you how cute u are by teh way? I meen really so cute. With yer eyey eyes and yer nosey nose and yur smile is so-- so-- soooooo. Let mee give yu jusst a litte kiiisss-
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Surry. Sory. Fell asleep on the kayboard there.
Waats thhaT awful smell? Oh, yeah... iss me.
What was I? Oh, yes.
You mussst save me by stooppping the maadness and not writing SANNNOTHER woord about-- about-- about lets juss say she wears a suit pannts and waaas once maarried to the Prezidsent who loooked a lot lyke Santa Caluse.
Pleaase, Iiif yu sttop maybe now I caan soober uup before memorial...
Oh, oooh, craaap. Heere coomes another one aand annotheer aand aanother!
I thiink we've goot a bottle of nyquil upstaairs.