This will be a relatively short diary, attempting to expand on a comment I made in dawnt's excellent diary.
There are calls for unity from Obama supporters and Clinton supporters alike. As an Obama supporter I have a swirl of emotions about the tone and tactics of the recent campaign. I fully get the practical need to come together.
I also understand the resistance fellow Obama supporters feel toward immediately displacing honestly come-by antipathy about Clinton campaign tactics. I am sure I'm not alone in feeling that many things crossed non-negotiable moral lines that mark out why we joined the Democratic Party in the first place. Living out our best selves by embracing the better angels of our nature is easier said than done.
I think there is a way through this for people like me, in the way we talk to Clinton supporters. Here are the truthful considerations in the calculus:
Time heals a lot of wounds. I feel the wounds of the Clinton campaign's approach to people like me (Obama supporter), but in time I know they will recede. I know this because as a human being I've been through this pattern many times before. We all have.
We have six months to accomplish a very important goal. Achieving that goal will require some emotional poise. Venting some spleen is competing with the level-headed strategic goal of how we will see Obama raise his hand on January 20, 2009. Which one will make us feel better?
It is important not to lie about our own hurt feelings (even though our candidate won) and be inauthentic about why we were hurt. Inauthenticity is more transparent than we think it is, so it's a waste of time. No cloying praise of Clinton or her supporters if it doesn't feel real right now.
There is a massive difference between language of blame and language of personal ownership. My incredibly wise couples-counseling mother taught me that one a long time ago. "You made me feel..." is unbelievably different between "I feel..." Simple lesson, but incredibly important.
So important that I want to repeat it. Clinton and her supporters did not make me or you feel or think anything. We think and feel the things we think and feel because we chose those responses. The way we express this in the coming days of unification will make all the difference, I believe.
That's my contribution to navigating the confusing feelings of happiness, residual anger, excitement, fear and hope about how we as Dems approach this next stage.
Speak your truth. Simple, declarative statements of that which you own in thoughts and feelings. You can say, I heard Clinton say X, and I reacted with feeling Y.
We need to offer genuine olive branches to Clinton supporters and they need to acknowledge our truths as well. Language of blame gets in the way.
No "Clinton makes me..." diaries and comments. Instead, "I heard X and I reacted Y."
Finally, it is time again for a new round of diaries about why you originally were attracted to Obama, not why you didn't choose Hillary Clinton. Why you feel inspired by Obama, what practical changes you're excited about seeing in American government. With all the focus on process for the last two months, it's critical that as Clinton supporters try to come to grips with their own hurt, we can make the arguments why we feel so honestly that Obama will make a great president. When you're buried in your support for a candidate and the competition seems hot and heavy, sometimes these are hard to hear.
So, a call for renewal of straightforward, pro-Obama testimonials. Let's have a collection of the best pro-Obama diaries from the past. In fact, if people post their favorites they they wrote themselves or saw other people write below in the comments section, then someone can do a diary with all the "Best Of" diaries. I can do one of those tomorrow or the next day. Audio Guy wrote one of my favorites, I bookmarked it.
Also, and this has nothing to do with anything, but here is probably the worst thing in human history, hyperbole pre-acknowledged as a tad over the top:
Update: I want to make something clear. I am not arguing that we are supposed to reinstate Hillary Clinton herself in our hearts as a "good Democrat," if we don't feel that. Some of us honestly think she is and always was, and for some of us we will never think that again.
That is irrelevant. I am saying that as someone who formerly loved baseball but has not watched a baseball game in person, on TV since the 1994 strike. I know how to come to terms with my own feelings about something and honor the strength and clarity of those feelings. This is about how we express our reactions to the ongoings in the campaign in language of authenticity and personal ownership rather than language of blame. It's so subtle, but it is everything.
Regardless of whether Clinton is still not giving up, still repeating kitchen sink-type behavior, it doesn't change the fact that many Clinton supporters are officially in a transition process, and they are hurting, and they are reading what we write at an emotionally charged time for everyone. And it's a small concession on our part, it actually has the benefit of being a more truthful form of expression, and it doesn't compromise authentically held feelings of anger toward the Clinton tactics. It's nothing but a winning strategy, IMO. So I put it out there. If you don't choose to take it, that's ok. But I believe it's the wrong choice and I am hereafter committed to express myself about Hillary Clinton and her supporters in this way.
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