Daily Kos

LIVEBLOGGING George Bush's "Inspiring Democrats" Workshop. UPDATED!

by JeffLieber

Fri Jul 18, 2008 at 09:10:42 AM PDT

Hey, live from Netroots Nation here!

I'm no good at typing fast so there will probably be a lot of mistakes, but even though I had to go through a full-body cavity search and sign a loyalty pledge (and agree to allow my phone and my email and my private thoughts to be tapped) I wouldn't have missed this opportunity for the world!

Ok, the President is starting out with a speech with a lot of idioms... "Fool him once, shame on you. Fool him twice and the early bird gets the horse to water."... "A stitch in nine saves a Wrinkle in Time."... "A bird in the hand is worth two on the last train to Clarksville."

I've got NO idea what the dude is saying, but he is on FIRE.

Now he's going through his "Inspiring Democrats Powerpoint" presentation, which no one has the heart to tell him is projected upside down on the wall behind him.

--Get elected illegitimately.

--Start a war with a country that tried to kill your father.

(He's doing a Darth Vader imitation here, but really he sounds a lot more like... well... Dick Cheney.)

--Destroy the constitution.

(Oh, someone has jumped in, challenging the President on the legality of his FISA end-around and... what is the President going to do here... tense moment. He's pulling out a pen... and he's making a signing statement announcing that he will not be responding to any criticism and that the young woman who questioned him is "like, a total douch. Heh-heh-heh-heh".)

(And yes he actually wrote the "Heh-heh-heh-heh" in the signing statement.)

--Ignore the plight of the poor, especially when their skin is any darker then a deep peach and when they happening to be drowning via a hurricane.

--Make an alliance with an alien race that will come down in December of 2008 and force the President to overturn the election and declare martial law.

--Trash the economy.

(Oh-- oh. DEA agents have just shown up and have gone over to the young woman who questioned the President. They are now sprinkled her with a white powder and... now arresting her. Tough break for her, but then again what was she thinking coming to this conference covered in cocaine.)

Think we're starting to wind it all up here.

The President appears to be running out of steam. In the background Condi Rice has shown up with a pillow, blanket and a bedtime story -- My Pet Goat -- so I assume The Preident's next activity is his daily nap.

Hope this has been informative!

UPDATE: JUST realized I've attended "John McCain's Inspiring Democrats Workshop" not "George Bush's Inspiring Democrats Workshop". Couldn't tell the difference.

Sorry for the mistake!

Tags: SYFPH, snark, Netroots Nation 2008 (all tags) :: Previous Tag Versions

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Permalink | 18 comments