I think someone may have spiked my Diet Coke with something extra special tonight because tonight's diary prep went to 2 pages - again. Goody for us all - I hope!
So, let's Countdown for the night before payday for me!
#5 "Global Stage" AKA "Ich Bin Ein Obama" AKA "NBC News Exclusive" - OK, F.O.O., let’s assume for $hits & giggles that I’m neutral in this Presidential election. Senator Obama gave a hell of a speech today in Berlin in front of 200K people. What in the name of all that’s holy can Senator McCentury do to counter that? What can he do to counter that passion, that enthusiasm, that outpouring of good will, etc.? About the only thing I can think of that Senator McCentury to do is to take a page from Sheriff Bart & the Waco Kid; make cardboard recreations of lots & lots of people and, maybe, pipe in some crowd noise. Senator McCentury was around fudge & sausage in Ohio today. Did he have the good manners to invite Senator Larry "Wide Stance I Am Not Gay" Craig to come with him? Our government put up the walls – a hell of an accomplishment considering the good will around the world toward the US after the 9/11 attacks. What is the emotion I’m feeling? It’s weird yet vaguely familiar to me. Could it be pride? Man, I’m not sure since it’s been awfully damn long since I’ve felt this way. OMG, look how studly & dignified Richard Wolffe looks in Berlin! Be still my heart...my...my...my... I think I need something cool to drink [insert image of me fanning myself here] AAAAaaaHHHHhhhh....OK, I think I’m done fawning excessively. Keith, "the comedian" is going nuts over nearly everything Senator Obama says because "he" is absolutely terrified at the prospect of an Obama presidency; I listened to "him" yesterday, and it’s actually quite funny. "His" roids that kept "him" out of Vietnam are really flaming these days! Is it just me, or does it look like Senator Obama & Brian Williams have the same suits on? Maybe, it’s the ties. Maybe, I’ve still got images of Richard Wolffe dancing in my head, and I’m slightly delusional.
#4 "Politics & Policy" - Senator Obama, you need to use stronger language than to say you’re "disappointed" with Senator McCentury’s hateful disgusting words as of late. You or someone needs to shoot back & say that Senator McCentury is willing to pay his admission to the Presidency with more American & Iraqi blood for the next 50/100/1000 years – and go into Iran, too. Does that "risky candidate" question mean that people see Senator McCentury as a comfortable old shoe? Old shoes stink!
**Today is "Pine Tar" Day??!! OMG...I will never forget this! And, calm, even – keeled, patient, mild – mannered Billy Martin was the one who protested George Brett's bat? I did not know that! Too funny... Look at that poor little fawn. No "Bambi" cracks!**
BUSHED! "Obama – Gate" - The State Department barred its employees from going to Senator Obama’s speech today. Since when is it GWB’s, Condi’s, or anyone else’s f*ckin’ business what their employees do in their off hours?! "Nexus of Politics & Terror – Gate" - Mike Pence ripped into Mukasey today over whether journalists should be able to protect their sources, and Pence was defending the journalists?! OK, some alien kidnapped the REAL Mike Pence & replaced him with this guy. "FEMA – Gate" - So, in addition to the telecoms wanting immunity, FEMA wants it, too, for literally making people sick?
#3 "Double Talk Express" AKA "Mac & Cheese" AKA "McCain’s Malapropisms" - If Senator McCentury’s gaffes & flip – flops were put into book form, we’d have War & Peace by now. I’m going to purge if I hear Senator McCentury dissect "surge" anymore. Iraq was "the first major conflict since 9/11"? Tell Pat Tillman’s family that and see what kind of response you get. Hi, Gene Robinson! Hell, yes, Senator McCentury sees Iraq through a Vietnam prism! Thank you, Mr. Robinson, for reminding us of the ORIGINAL purpose of "the surge" – to give political "breathing space" to the Iraqis. That has worked about as well as DICK Cheney deciding to become more warm & fuzzy and Mr. Bull Snort deciding to conform to basic Journalism 101 standards.
WPITW – Well, at least Ben Stein was funny in Ferris Buehler’s Day Off. Oh good God, more Mr. Bull Snort. Keith, please...NO MORE! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! How can I miss Mr. Bull Snort if you don’t make him go away?! Do I need to get on my knees and beg – AGAIN?! I haven’t needed knee pads since my illustrious volleyball playing career. Yea, let y’all’s gutter minds go where they will. Duncan Hunter’s been hanging out with Ted Nugent?
#1 "Bob and Weave" AKA "Little Bad Corvette" AKA "Celebritease" - I really REALLY wish that Bob Novak had been properly arrested for mowing down that poor man with his mid – life – crisis – I’m – compensating – for – a – small – dick Corvette. Perhaps, he was distracted by memories of sweet nothings from TurdBlossom & Scooter Libby & plotzing over the prospect of outing another CIA agent and getting away with it. I wonder how Bob Novak does with bumper cars? Jay walkers are way bigger criminals than outing a CIA agents. Who’s this Amorosa chick? And, Christian Bale is in trouble with the law. Is this new Batman movie cursed? I hope to go see it this weekend.