Inspired by John Hodgman's SPAMasterpiece Theater, I thought I should share the wit and wisdom of the casino-spam I have found among the "comments" on the paltry few entries I've written on my mofembot site (one of my 2009 resolutions is to blog more; I'm 2 for 2 for this year now, yippee!). I do not know where this will take me, but I suspect I will decide it is too silly not to delete shortly after hitting "publish."
I had been so excited at the prospect of reading Real Comments(!) in response to my intermittent postings. Imagine how crushed I was to discover that of the hundreds of entries, I could count the real responses on one hand.
I deleted the come-ons for viagra and other products, I deleted the "comments" filled with a hash of random letters and digits, I deleted the machine-generated arrays of random words. But these spams from the casino(s)—there seemed to be a brain behind them. An English-as-Second-(or Third- or Fourth-)Language brain, a babelfish brain, yes, but amid the bizarre non sequiturs, I found my disappointment strangely assuaged. May you find in these "comments," reproduced verbatim (with occasional translation from French), the same wisdom that I have.
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"Some right is peculiarly bitter" indeed, especially after the last election. And I would like to find either the concisely squinting automatic book or the laconically old-fashioned school.
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"Illegal foot" must be a soccer scam. And am I the "one mother" who guffawed abruptly? (Although I am not especially known for guffawing abruptly, I have been heard to laugh out loud at odd moments, given that I sometimes see humor where others do not.) But I cannot agree that a university is less accused than the polite right without knowing which university we're talking about.
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"Key evidence fashionably misread" simply has to refer to some aspect of the Abramoff scandal or possibly to the Blagojevich scandal.
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Blackjack as a first date—a curious if coarse choice, perhaps stemming from being coerced by one's decisive father. But the last line clearly is referring to O'Bama's inauguration.
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"Wee member" sounds like a plea for viagra to me. But it is the cruelty of the Canadian century that makes me more depressed than the term "online poker."
Ah, this dangerous word loosely hit versus some selected thing. Umm, a home is more worried than some top teacher. It's famous to be ate! Roulette table foresaw this name. Some health has one binding decision. That back green roulette carpet splashed alongside the successive roulette table. Well, that tax is much more stiff than the vivid roulette table of the casino. Stuck green roulette carpet is that reduced manager...
I cannot help but wonder what the "selected thing" is that can possibly counter a dangerous word loosely hit. Might it be the one binding health decision (clearly having to do with diet)? But the biggest truth here is that home is more worried than some random top teacher, despite having already lived through vivid green carpet in our first apartment. Umm.
One letter has a protestant face. It's ancient to be partook! Matter gazed an idea. That tax has this tragic place. Pale percent is that productive person. Government locked a bed. Poker games online dealt some online poker games. That better poker game online is divisively then...
I have not conclusively determined which of the 26 letters of the English alphabet has a protestant face, but I'm guessing it's "P." And perhaps the government will unlock the bed once the taxes are paid. Or perhaps it won't, which would indeed be tragic, but what can you expect when matter gazes an idea?
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Gruß Gott, it's legal to be cursed?! Perhaps the curse has to do with malicious singing slot machines. "Snugly unfortunate" is right.
Thanks, grade plot, has added in elite.
You're welcome, casino.