From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Pastor in da hizzouse
Long-time Kossack and Street Prophets caretaker pastordan---aka Pastor Daniel Schultz---is "a third-generation minister in the United Church of Christ, and [I've] served congregations in Georgia, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. I grew up in my dad's church across the street from Camp Randall Stadium in Madison, Wisconsin." In our humble opinion he's the guy Barack Obama should've tapped to give the inaugural invocation instead of Rick Whatsizname. In our first 2009 edition of Yes, We're All Staring At YOU!, let’s see if Pastor Dan can go for two sentences without swearing:
Cheers and Jeers: How long have you been blogging and what originally brought you to Daily Kos?
Pastor Dan: I started lurking here in early 2004, just at the tail end of the Dean-Nader wars. Armando was in his prime as an asshole, and Tom Schaller, Meteor Blades and Trapper John were teaching a generation of bloggers on the front page.
Two events brought me here on a roundabout route. When the Iraq war began, my then-congregation went apeshit. There was this quasi-idolatrous belief that George W. Bush was God's agent, that people should in no way question the war. And I thought "something's wrong here." Just a month or so later, Rick Santorum made his infamous man-on-dog comments. A columnist in the local paper double-dog-dared me to write a response, which I did. The readers went apeshit. And I thought, "this is fun." So began my long descent into madness.
Where were you when the networks called the race for Barack Obama and how did you react?
Same place I'm at whenever something big happens these days: sitting on my couch with a warm laptop and a cool drink. Or a warm drink. It depends on the time. I didn't go nuts because I'd known for a month or more that Obama had made it over the top. But I was very moved when I saw Andrew Young at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta almost in tears when he realized America would have its first black president. Moments later, I saw Jesse Jackson and he was weeping.
Are you an Old Testament or New Testament kind of guy?
Both. You can't understand the New Testament without the Old. But longtime readers here know that I have a fondness for Paul, who I think is much misunderstood. In all, though, I'd have to say that my favorite piece of scripture is the book of II Opinions.
What kind of music makes you feel invincible to the GOP horde?
What shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of the MC5, Merle Haggard, Iggy and the Stooges, the Clash, X, Husker Du, the Ethiopians, Israel Vibration, any old dread reggae and roots rock riddim. Through faith they conquered kingdoms, administered justice, received promises, shut the mouths of lions, put out raging fires, escaped death by the sword, found strength in weakness, became powerful in battle, and routed foreign armies. Or burned out some amps. It's all good.
But above all else, little children, remember this: Marvin Gaye was a prophet and an apostle. Listen to him, and all will be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things will be well.
As a pastor, you're on the front lines in terms of hearing about the problems people are facing in these tough times. What are you hearing most from your congregants and what's their most pressing need in terms of government support?
I hear a lot of anxiety about whether jobs are still going to be there, whether people are going to be able to make the mortgage, and particularly about whether health care is going to be affordable.
One guy in our congregation was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Do you know what he's worried about? Making sure his kids can get health insurance. Not his mortgage, not his health, making sure his kids get coverage. What kind of effed-up society tolerates such anxiety?
What's the one book every Kossack must read?
Reinhold Niebuhr's Moral Man and Immoral Society and The Nature and Destiny of Man are invaluable works of political philosophy. So are Will Cuppy's How To Tell Your Friends From The Apes and The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody.
But really the book I think every Kossack should read hasn't even been written yet, and that would be Meteor Blades' autobiography.
Your online baby is your Street Prophets blog, which is now, I believe, in its fourth year. Why did you start it and who is the main audience for it?
I have Gary Bauer to thank. Back in 2004, there wasn't really a central place for religious lefties to gather online. I'd been kicking around the idea of starting such a community, but hadn't gotten very far with the idea. But I happened to see Bauer trashing Kos on his listserv, so I forwarded it to him. Markos wrote back to say that he'd been thinking about expanding the reach of the Great Orange Satan with a couple of "suburban" sites. One of the first he wanted to get going was a religious-oriented site, and would I be interested in partnering with him on it? Heck, yeah. So off we went.
I think about half or a little better of the active readers are more-or-less Christians. Pagans and atheists together make up about the next quarter, and then we've got a few Jews, Buddhists, New Agers, and quite a few people who have no idea how to describe themselves. We also have a substantial community of lycanthropes. (You have to be there to understand.)
Last---and this never fails to surprise me---we have many lurkers from various inside-the-beltway organizations and journalists. We're apparently more influential than people let on, and I say that in all humility.
Are the fundamentals of writing a rip-roarin' sermon and a rip-roarin' blog post the same?
Pretty much. The major difference is that my mother scolds me for the language in my blog posts. She seems to like the sermons, though.
Finish this sentence: In the kitchen I make a mean...
Pizza. Thin crust, deep dish, you name it. My signature is a deep-dish white pizza, but I'm working up the courage to try a pizza rustica with ham, ricotta, eggs and mozzarella. I'm afraid of what my children will say. Also, aebleskiver and honey-oatmeal wheat bread.
What is the greatest church hymn ever written?
I usually measure greatness by suitability to the occasion, so there's not really one. One of my favorites, however, is A Song Of Peace, often known by its tune name, Finlandia. We sang it at the first Netroots Nation worship service in Austin. My daughter says it's the only time she's ever seen me cry.
Right-wing pastor Rick Warren believes that Jews are going to hell, that evolution is crap, that Proposition 8 would've taken away his religious freedom, that abortion is akin to the holocaust, and that gay people aren't good enough to join his Brokeba...er, Saddleback Church. My question is: why are left-wingers so shrill about this lovely man?
I think it's the goatee, honestly. It's got to be, because why else would you not like his shallow, reactionary and thoroughly illiberal faith? Also, Barack Obama is a secret atheist Muslim black separatist sending mind control rays through his powerful abdominal muscles. That's the only explanation for his inaugural invitation to Warren.
No waffling here: dogs or cats?
Hello, everyone. G. Watson Beagle here to answer for that idiot pastordan. He likes beagles. That's all.
What's one position or belief conservative Christians hold that you just wish they'd get over already?
The idea that they don't interpret the Bible. Everybody interprets! Some of us just admit it, is all. Also, contemporary worship sucks.
Have you ever seen the Virgin Mary in a piece of toast?
Waffle. Denver. In a bar. That's all my lawyers have authorized me to say.
I have one question left, but the Mormons are at the door and I need to go give 'em an earful. Please ask and answer the final question yourself...
Are you and Mrs Pastor like that in real life?
Mrs Pastor is the light of my life without whom I'd be utterly lost. We're worse in real life.
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, January 5, 2009
Note: My tongue thtuck on fwagpo! My tongue thtuck on fwagpo! Qui la'hing you atholth!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Inauguration Day: 15
Days `til the Musher's Bowl Winter Carnival in Bridgton: 11
Average high temperature in Washington, D.C. in January: 42
Average low: 27
Average number of hours per week that an American and a Chinese person, respectively, spend shopping: 4, 10
(Source: Harper's Index)
Dow Industrials after the first trading session of 2009: 9,034.69
Number of the 33 red states shown on the Red State blog's masthead that are actually blue states: 23
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Monday Brain Dropping by George Carlin:
What is all this nonsense about parental guidance, parental control, and parental advisories? The whole reason people in this country are as fucked up as they are and make such ignorant decisions on public policy is that they listened too closely to their parents in the first place. This is an authoritarian country with too many laws, rules, controls and restrictions. "Do this! Don’t do that! Shut up! Sit still! No talking! Stand up straight!" No wonder kids are so fucked up; traditional authoritarian values. It starts in kindergarten: they give you a coloring book and some crayons, and tell you, "Be creative...but don’t go outside the lines."
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Lily
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CHEERS to January! Anyone who enjoys winter sports is in Heaven. Hot clam chowder on a frigid, snowy day is Heavenly. The 111th Congress prepares for two years of chaos and tomfoolery with lots of new Democratic faces. And finally---finally---comes the date we've been waiting eight long, insufferable years for: 1/20/09. Laundry day!
JEERS to another fine mess. Israel and Palestine are at it again. If I'm catching their drift, one side wants to kill the other side and the other side wants to kill the one side. This is a war? Sounds more like my neighbor's marriage.
CHEERS to Amy Klobuchar's new partner. The results are in aaaand...half of Americans still can't find Minnesota on a map. But who cares? Al Franken beat Norm Coleman by 225 votes and returned Paul Wellstone's seat to a true progressive. There'll be a bunch of legal maneuvering to delay Al's coronation, but in the meantime we can think about this to tide us over: Bill O'Reilly just lost another showdown against his arch-nemesis, and he's going to have to live with "UNITED STATES SENATOR AL FRANKEN" rattling in his brain for six long years. Oh, Bill...you're beautiful when you seethe.
P.S. Franken's win will be certified today, but will he be seated in the Senate tomorrow? Our staff oracle is reading the entrails of a freshly harvested neocon as we write this, and he says one thing is for certain: the victim had corn for dinner last night. Not helpful.
CHEERS to packin' it on (via LurkerBG). Have you already broken your New Year's resolution to go on a diet? Good for you. You've got a better chance of avoiding the flu than the two-shakes-and-a-sensible-meal crowd:
The team at Michigan State University found even though the mice on the lower calorie diet received adequate amounts of vitamins and minerals, their bodies were still not able to produce the amount of killer cells needed to fight an infection.
As well as being more likely to die from the virus, the mice - which were consuming around 40% of the calories given to their counterparts on a normal diet - took longer to recover, lost more weight and displayed other symptoms of poor health.
"Our research shows that having a body ready to fight a virus will lead to a faster recovery and less-severe effects than if it is calorically restricted," said study author Professor Elizabeth Gardner.
Pass the chocolate-covered fried Twinkies. And don't skimp on the sprinkles.
JEERS to sudden departures. And just like that---click!---Bill Richardson withdrew his nomination for Commerce Secretary in the shadow of a growing FBI investigation of alleged campaign quid-pro-quo shenanigans. If I may be so bold, President-elect Obama, perhaps you could replace him with a gay candidate? Trust me...we know a thing or two about shopping.
JEERS to the Big Sludgy. Here's the latest statement from the people responsible for December 22nd's giant fly-ash tidal wave in Tennessee:
"Hi, folks! Say, ain't this a crazy thing! We don’t know how it happened. We don’t know how bad it is. We don't know how long it'll take to clean it up. We don’t know if people can drink the water or breathe the air. We don’t know how much it will cost. We don’t know how the weather might affect the cleanup. We don’t know what we don’t know, but we know that we don’t know what we don’t know, except the parts we know. And we regret the fact that you can't see this from our point of view, because we could really use your support right now. This ain't easy for us, y'know. Renting a bulldozer for a week costs more than a country club membership. Oh, now look what you made us do...we got our wingtips all muddy. Arrrgh!!"
Message: they care.
CHEERS to the sharin' of the green. It's official: control of the Green Zone was turned over to the Iraqis last week after Ambassador Crocker passed the golden toilet brush to Prime Minister al Maliki. And there's more:
Under the new security agreement between Washington and Baghdad to replace a U.N. mandate for foreign troops in Iraq, the Iraqi government also now has control of American troops' actions and of the country's airspace.
There's nothing to stop the rise of the giant Iraqi blimp fleet now. May god help us all.
JEERS to the long, cold road ahead. The next federal holiday when most Americans actually get the day off from work is Memorial Day. That's 140 days from now. If there's anything else I can do to make your day a bed of roses, just let me know. [Twitch Twitch]
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Five years ago in C&J: January 5, 2004
CHEERS to Sharbanou Mazandarani. 97 year-old Iranian woman survives 8 days under rubble after Iran earthquake. I'll have whatever she's been eating, drinking or smoking.
CHEERS to "Spirit." Mars rover touches down in picture-perfect landing. First item of business for gloating NASA nerds: find and beat the crap out of Europe's Beagle 2 in BattleBots-style showdown.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to your Monday morning wake-up call. Ugh...after two routine-jangling holiday weeks in a row, getting motivated today is harder than getting a Republican to acknowledge the world is round. If you, too, are having trouble opening your eyes, maybe what you need is a little extra cock in your doodle doo. If that doesn’t work, try Red Bull.
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Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of Cheers and Jeers."
---Alberto Gonzales
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