"Prayers for Bobby" is a new TV-movie being featured on the Lifetime channel on Saturday night (9PM Eastern/8PM Central). "Prayers for Bobby" is based on the true story of Bobby Griffin, a twenty-four year old man who committed suicide after struggling with his homosexuality and his Christian beliefs. A struggle perpetuated by his mother and her insistence that he could be "cured" through prayer.
Oh, and it's more than just another gay movie... Indeed, it's groundbreaking.
The finished film is not your typical TV movie. Unlike most previous gay TV movies, the filmmakers don’t dance around the issues; they tackle religion head-on, making the explicit connection between anti-gay religious beliefs and the oppression of gay people. As the recent controversy over California’s Proposition 8 showed, religious beliefs are still the primary — maybe the only remaining — argument against same-sex equality. In the aftermath of that fight, the movie feels eerily contemporary despite being set in the 1970s.
"SPOILERS" and my diary on Bobby's story after the fold.
Bobby also kept a journal that documented these troubled times and his confusion.
What's wrong with me? I wish I could crawl under a rock. God, do you enjoy seeing me stumble around this world like a stupid idiot? I think you must. There's probably some kind of pill somewhere that would heal my brain or there's probably some kind of vitamin that I'm not getting enough of. -- Sept. 28, 1981
More such quotes, through good times and bad, can be found in the Harper Collins book by LeRoy Aarons, "Prayers for Bobby", which the TV-movie is based off of.
The importance of Bobby's story does not end with his death. On the contrary, Bobby's death was a catalyst for his mother Mary. A realization that she made a terrible mistake in her believing her fundamentalist Christian beliefs could "cure" her son.
Mary Griffith explains her rationale at the time:
"I certainly believed with all my being that homosexuality was something God was going to cure and that it was a condition that had to be cured," she says. "There were no if, ands or buts about it. That's all I had ever known.
"We loved Bobby and thought we were doing the right thing," she says.
Indeed, Mary thought she was saving her son from eternal damnation. However, when confronted with her son's death, she began to question her God. How could He allow this to happen to her son? How could God pass him over? How could God have damned Bobby to hell when Bobby was trying to save himself?
"It was a terrible injustice," she says. "I find some comfort in knowing that I can't totally be held responsible for something I didn't know. There's an awful lot of ignorance in the church."
Griffin came to realize that her strict Presbyterian upbringing had, in fact, prevented her from saving Bobby's life. It was not the other way around. God was not preventing her son from being saved- by Bobby taking his own life. No, it was her strict Christian beliefs that had prevented Bobby from being saved- by preventing her, his own mother, from caring and loving for her son unconditionally.
Bobby's mother, Mary eventually realized that Bobby hadn't been cured by God because nothing was wrong with him.
"Bobby wasn't healed because there was nothing wrong with him," she says. "It was perfectly normal and healthy for Bobby."
Bobby was constantly fighting his heart vs. his beliefs. He dated and had boyfriends but couldn't get past the beliefs that crushed his soul- he was going to hell, being gay was evil.
Mary Griffin continues..
"The thing with Bobby is that he could not separate from his religious teachings," she says, adding that he felt "anything positive about being gay was from Satan and it was not valid. The psychological terror just tormented him.
She continues...
"He felt within himself he was a kind decent human being," she says. "He couldn't understand why he would be hated and why God would consider him an abomination."
Unfortunately, Mary only furthered the terror and torment Bobby felt. Until one day, after four years of being out, and almost a decade of knowledge of his sexuality, Bobby could no longer take the internal struggle raging inside of himself. He went to a highway overpass and climbed up the bridge rails. He stood himself up straight facing away from the highway below. Perhaps, he looked up to the stars. Perhaps, he thought about his mother. I'm sure he was thinking of Jesus and his God. He looked over his shoulder and saw a tractor-trailer coming. He waited to get the timing right. Then, he simply fell back and let gravity do the rest.
Today, Mary Griffin is an ardent gay rights supporter and P-FLAG mom, running a chapter out of her home. Today she helps kids deal with their sexuality. She gives them a place to talk about their internal struggles and teaches them how to deal with the world's prejudices. Mary Griffin has been transformed by her son's death. Too late for Bobby- true. However, Mary Griffin did learn from her mistakes- a lesson many have chosen not to take. Mary learned that unconditional love is the best love, the only love. A lesson many of us need to learn. Unconditional love, the way a mother loves a son. Mary learned the lesson too late. Now Mary Griffin is hoping that you don't learn the lesson too late as well.
So what are doing Saturday night? Do you need to learn the lesson Mary and Bobby Griffin struggled with? Maybe, you've learned it already, in that case be re-affirmed by watching "Prayers for Bobby" on the Lifetime Channel. Check your local listings, 9PM Eastern, 8PM Central. Sigourney Weaver stars. Filmed in Detroit.
Expect Sigourney Weaver to rock this role. Some people like Meryl Streep, for me it's Sigourney Weaver all the way when you need a female powerhouse performance.
Freep.com says:
Weaver's powerful, poignant performance is already being talked about as worthy of an Emmy.
Weaver also offers some understanding for her character, Mary Griffin:
"If you're not careful, you're so sure that you're right and your child is wrong, that they can't see the bigger picture," she says. "I think for Mary, the big picture was so black-and-white and she wasn't really thinking about what was best for Bobby. She knew what was best for Bobby. ... The heartbreaking thing was the family was so close and they felt they were saving him."
and on Prop 8:
"You kind of think, why are they sending a message to our young people that if you're a certain way, you don't have equal rights with others?" she says. "It's incredible to me that this has happened and all the more reason to show this movie now."
Amen, Sigourney Weaver. Amen.
Finally, if you are gay and need a vehicle for discussion with your parents (whether you are out or not) please consider watching this movie with them. Perhaps your family is deeply religious and opposed to gay rights. Tell them to watch this too.
Everything's an opening.
I'm seeing lots of good reviews. Don't miss it.
Preview clip here.
Official site here.