Sources close to Governor David Paterson, the man responsible for choosing the type and amount of food he will consume to break his fast, are indicating that the Governor is nearing a final decision on the matter, and will announce his early-morning food preference "within days."
"This hasn't been an easy process for him," said one confidante of New York's chief executive. "Pancakes, of course, made a strong early push for the privilege of being eaten by [him]. And for a while, that's all he had on his mind- pancakes, pancakes, pancakes. But then [popular breakfast food] Bacon and Eggs entered the picture..."
Speculation has swirled around the Governor's choice since December 1st, when the Governor woke up and realized he'd need some sort of sustenance to begin his day. Since then, newspapers across the state have patiently waited as Paterson, New York's first African-American governor, meticulously weighed the pros and cons of breakfast foods as varied as cereal, toast, pancakes, and waffles.
One associate of the governor, who asked not to be named, said that" [he] wants to get this breakfast right. He's looking for the right combination of nutrition, convenience, and, of course, the ability to be delicious in 2010."
As late as early January, insiders thought Paterson had settled upon Waffles, but their assumptions were quickly upended once Waffles withdrew from consideration, citing "syrup issues." Most aides close to the governor are also citing the lack of fresh milk in the Paterson household as very detrimental to Cereal's chances.
"The important thing is to get this right," an Albany insider tells us. "Sure, Paterson could just grab a Bagel and Coffee after only a few days' thought, like [Colorado Governor] Ritter, or, God forbid, shovel down a stack of Pancakes in exchange for cash or a lucrative job with IHOP like [Illinois Governor] Blagojevich. But Paterson's neither hasty nor corrupt, and I'm sure that whatever breakfast he chooses will be the best choice for the Paterson kitchen table."
Requests for comment from Governor Paterson's office went unanswered, as the Governor, who hasn't eaten in nearly two months, is apparently in the final stages of starvation.