Hi there to Iraq, I just want you to know we are still thinking about you, and hope you are enjoying the occupation. This is just a quick note to tell you what we are going to do about our recent slight disagreement.
First of all we will probably be leaving soon, apart from a few bases and our wonderful contribution to Mesopotamian architecture the magnificent Embassy we built to show our sincere friendship. We positioned this monument to our good taste right where you could all see it, and we even showed our love of the environment by having a green zone.
I just want you all to know that on our way out that democracy is a messy business and sorry to leave so much debris, at least you can all build a great new infrastructure. Oh and do you know if you do not like the government that we imposed on you, well what the heck, you can always change it just like we do.
A quick word about the little tiff between George W Bush and your Saddam Hussien. Well you know how these things start, a little word then some red faces and before you know it you are calling security. Cheney insured that our security teams turned up in force, and unfortunately they caused a little bit of damage on the way in. We do so regret that some of you couldn't get out the way in time, just put this down to experience for the next time.
Now we all know that George acted somewhat in haste when he said your government was linked to 9-11, you know how it is in the heat of the moment. Well we would like to inform you that we sent him back to Texas in no uncertain fashion. You do know he really is a nice guy to have a beer with so we have decided to let him have a good retirement package and will leave him alone for the sake of our national unity. You also surely do realise we have to heal after such a palaver, and we really got quite upset about the whole thing.
So just to let you know we are thinking of you, we will leave the candy and flowers by the door on the way out, don't worry, we wont be a stranger, and see you all real soon.