Mr Olbermann, my family was watching "Countdown" last night, as we typically do after dinner each night. The segment of your Super Bowl Media Day was airing and my high school senior remarked, as your white shirt was stretching roundly around your middle, "Wow! Look at this gut. He became super-sized, just like Limbaugh is...!"
If children say the darnest things, then any parent will likewise tell you that high schoolers can be downright eviscerating. It’s true, Mr. Olbermann, your profile has become somewhat pendulous and judging from a high schooler’s exclamation, it is also time to lose it.
As like you, I recently turned 50 as well. I know that my metabolism ain’t what it used to be although my appetite has remained the same since my twenties. Like you, I also have a marvelous Cornell education. I’m fully aware of all the health, longevity and quality-of-life reasons with slimming down, doing more exercise, watching my portion control and doing everything else in moderation (up to and including ONE SHARED bathtub, as opposed to two separate bath tubs – there was a reason in the before the ‘60s for separate beds but this was lost/ignored on all to "marketing geniuses" with that 36-hour pill...) and am doing all these things in earnest. In my own corner of the world, I believe in the responsibility of being around for my wide and high schooler for a long time and in the best possible shape I can be.
However, unlike you, I do not have responsibility of the magnitude of your singular voice and presence in our national political debate. I enjoy your leadership in such a debate; I revel in your eloquence comeuppance with the GOP partisan absurd. I delight in ju-jitsu you whoop-ass on the three stooges of Hannity, Limbaugh and Bill-O ...
...but I would be chagrined and dismayed beyond words if your mano-a-mano with right-wing blowhards became caricaturized to Sumo wrestling proportions – literally.
We need you, your voice, your leadership around, healthy and in shape, for a time much longer than the opposition. I miss fellow Buffaloian Tim Russert – he left us far, far too early. It would be a shame if a fellow Cornellian left prematurely as well, especially when it was all so unavoidable. It doesn’t matter who you follow – Marie Osmond, Valerie Bertinelli, Chris Berman or even if you get your own contract – but please, lose the pudge and get back into shape.
And besides, just imagine how a slimmed down, in-shape Keith Olbermann would give them all yet another reason to really set them off...
*****
Update:
Well, apparently "set them off" was the operative phrase, but not the intended audience...Folks, I read all your comments and I believe most of you are overlooking or over-reacting the intent here. I made it clear -- I'm a big fan of Keith; I love what he does each and every night. Heck, I even said Countdown was an evening ritual with my family (c'mon, a high schooler sitting down every night for an hour to watch a news show...is that normal?) What I tried to do to approach a delicate, and very well intended, subject about health to an like-aged adult who I respect and admire and how I wish, IMO, he may recognize to take some steps to insure his overall good health. Is that being judgmental and shallow? Perhaps. Could I have used better words/images to make my point? Perhaps. But in the end, if you re-read this diary, hopefully you see I am truly well-intended, albeit somewhat indelicate.