I just wanted to take a moment to thank the GOP members of the House for their complete and utter refusal to vote for the stimulus package.
There are several reasons to be glad that not one single House Republican voted for the stimulus. Follow below...
Leaving aside the rather obvious point that anything that 100% of Republicans voted against must be a good thing for the country, I'd just like to make a list of the other reasons I'm thankful for the lack of GOP support.
1.) The American people are sick to death of this shit. We are sick of listening to the bullshit and the bickering. Sick, sick, sick of it.
You don't get that, but Obama does. And he's going to beat your asses with it every time. Whenever you do this, you will come off looking like obstructionist assholes. You think anybody other than your diehard 20% gives a damn about condoms? If it creates jobs at the condom factory, crank the fuckers out.
Speaking of which, why the hell are the democrats the party of the donkey, when all the jackasses are in the GOP?
Keep it up, and good luck in 2010 with your "strategy".
2.) If the stimulus works, or the economy turns around because of all the other cash being launched at it by the Fed, or whatever...guess who gets none of the credit? Yeah, that'd be you.
3.) Perhaps you are expecting the stimulus to fail, and planning to capitalize on that failure politically. A few points here:
a.) You unpatriotic bastards.
b.) We won't forget this started with you.
c.) Don't underestimate Obama. If this doesn't work, he's liable to figure out what will.
d.) If all of this DOES fail, there won't be a country left to govern. So much for your upside.
Building on this success, I would like to politely request that no Republican Senators vote for the stimulus package either, particularly those attempting re-election in 2010. You don't have to filibuster it--even I don't think all 41 of you are that stupid--but if you'd all like to vote no, please feel free.
After you've done that and revealed yourselves as the obstructionist assholes we all know you are, then maybe we can take off the kid gloves and really start beating the crap out of you, since there will be no more need to pay homage to the imaginary concept of bipartisanship. We can finally recognize the reality, that some people simply can't be reasoned with like adults, and we can go about the project of relegating you to the shitheap of history where you belong. I salivate whenever I remember that with each passing year, another couple million Democratic-leaning Millennials will be registering to vote.
Keep up the good work, GOP. See ya in the funny papers (WSJ, I'm talkin' to you).