I'm just not used to a Presidency in which mistakes made are publicly acknowledged. And beyond that, to boot- things are done about it. (whether to my satisfaction or not is another story.)
I'm not used to a President who seems to function in the same world as I do, existing in real time, gleaning information from his environment- and then ACTING on it. (presumably having not shat on it and then doctoring it for malign ends...)
I'm not used to a President who does battle with his political opponents in a frighteningly subtle and understated manner.
I'm not used to Presidential decorum assuming a form that I can almost relate to.
In short- I have not yet come to grips with how to process the Presidency of Barack Hussein Obama.
I've been just sort of following the news a bit more detachedly lately- maybe it's the fact that the passions of the election season are completed with the spectacle of an inauguration. Perhaps it's the fact that I've started my final semester at Columbia, with a mounting debt and (in my bubble-world perspective) little prospect of a job that will do much to really pay that bitch down. Or is it that I'm simply tired of the news cycle, with the mercurial play of emotion and reason, with the sound bites and gotcha stories?
In reading the NYT, I find that stories about crime in Astoria and Sunnyside, Queens grab my interest more, when my interest is grabbed at all. Or hell, I've even started paying attention to sports I ordinarily hate. I find that I'm able to give a moment to contemplate the fact that the fares on my NW and 1,2,3 trains that I ride to school everyday have gone up ever so unslightly. I find that I'm able to pay attention to campus happenings, and take umbrage with our endowment slipping (albeit proportionally less than Harvard, P, and Yale- haha suckers!) and hate on the food, and look at the lights on the trees, and even stare for a moment, at the random Israel-Gaza protests- or the campus Republicans' struggle to remain relevant, or even that hawk that famously eat squirrels on the various quads... I notice more things. But these are things external. I find that I can just do all these things and pay attention to them.
But before, this wasn't the case.
Before, I was actively dreading the prospect of You Betcha and Friends in power. I was constantly cringing when I looked at the paper, wondering who we'd pissed off now, calculating how much face we as a nation had lost that day. I was constantly wondering (now, bear with me, I'm not a tinfoil hatter, mind you, and I know how utterly stupid this sounds) how quickly we'd become a fascist theocracy, should the GOP triumph. Not only that, but I had a hard time conceiving an existence without Republicans screwing everything up and wrecking all the things I thought made this country great.
In short- I was essentially resigned to a slow spiritual and emotional death; looking forward to a life of drudgery, paying taxes to fund herpes and syphilis transmission programs (read: abstinence only) and in my gloomier moments, wondering quite whimsically just how much and for how long it would hurt to step in front of the uptown Express D train. (Preferably right before a Yankee game- might as well be spiteful towards the American League on my way out: "this train is delayed until further notice..." "nooo first pitch is in 20 minutes!")
But- (to use an appropriate phrase) it's Morning In America.
All those lamentations of earlier? Mostly gone. Sure, the debt worries me, but oh well. I made the choice, etc. etc. bootstraps, etc.
It constantly impresses me that I've mostly been able to start taking part in the slipstream of life, that I'm not constantly being dragged by the undertow of worry for the future.
Having Barack Hussein Obama as President of the United States Of America
has actually given me a remarkable peace of mind. I couldn't believe it when I acknowledged that fact to myself.
And here is why I have difficulty with Obama's Presidency:
Because there's a guy in the Oval Office who seems genuinely attuned to the populace;
Because there's a guy in the Oval Office who shares my values;
Because the President is a BAMF;
Because I'm not busy worrying about the possible ways in which he's deviously fucking us all over; as in: It hasn't been entertained as an issue in my head much;
Because when I read the news, I am less likely to wince;
Because though I haven't tuned out completely, I still feel comfortable enough with his deportment and decorum that I don't need to be obsessing over political news minutiae;
Because there's a guy at the helm that I'm reasonably confident is NOT a complete fuck-up in all respects, running an office filled with immoral twats, actively shitting on the Constitution and the rule of law;
Because of all these things;
I'm able to pay attention to my own life without looking over my shoulder, worrying about the black helicopters.
I've never had this experience; this of actually delegating to government my gulp trust, and gulp encouragement.
This is going to take some getting used to.
But it's a learning curve I can certainly appreciate.
(end navelgazing HERE)
(sorry for the meandering- I don't really bother to format or edit internet writings- not aiming for gold here.)