Conan O’Brien on Michael Phelps’ pot scandal;
"A tabloid published a picture of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps at a party taking a huge hit from a bong. I think there’s an important lesson to be learned here: Kids, never share your pot with someone who has the lung capacity of a dolphin."

Michael Phelps can win everything there is to win at the Olympics, be in top physical shape, be a nice guy by all accounts, ...but he takes a hit on a bong and all of a sudden he’s the anti-Christ. People. Look at it from the other direction. IF he is doing all those things while smoking dope, maybe dope isn’t really so bad? Contemplate THAT while you’re sucking down caffeine, sugar, e-coli infested veggies, meat made out of assholes, all the melamine enriched dairy, eggs, fish and pork you can handle, and all the alcohol you can black out from while trying to snap up your pants and then belt them shut because you’ve gained another 17 pounds. Jeeze. Use your brains, people. But we still have Russ-pass-the-Oxycontin-Limbaugh, a walking talking fat burger who deafens himself using drugs, and he’s got a national outlet so he can convert other Haters. I’d rather my kid smoked dope and swam, thanks.
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Michael Steele, the new face of the Rethuglican Party. He has a consistent history of pretending to be a Democrat on election materials and advertising in Maryland. No, I’m not kidding. He still lost. Hahahaaa.
But hey, at least he wasn’t arrested for theft like the other token black guy the Maryland Rethugs let come to their party. The aide to the President who was shoplifting housewares in Tar-jay? Dude, Sur la Table probably would have let it fly and sent you a nice discreet bill. I mean really. Target?
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Ruth Bader Ginsburg. One of the Justices we’d like to actually keep, and now she has cancer. Well, she’s beat it once before, hopefully, she will do it again. Go Judge Ginsburg! I will hold you in the light.
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The AP released a report about the Department of Defense Budget, which says, in part:
"$547 million goes into public affairs, which reaches American audiences. And about $489 million more goes into what is known as psychological operations, which targets foreign audiences."
In other words, the branch of the government which is supposed to be protecting you spends $58 MILLION dollars more on brainwashing you than ...whatever the hell it is they do to foreigners. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice. And just a note, it is ALSO more than they spent on body armour for our sacrificial lambs...er..I mean soldiers. And what they DID send sucked and was recalled. Full of body parts. I wonder if that requires a receipt?
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I had some dim bint try to win a pissing contest with me by pointing out it isn’t safe to eat organics, either, because the peanut butter recall "has spread to Luna and Cliff Bars."
Those things are not labeled and never were labeled organic. USDA 100% organic is just that. Labels that read "Now 70% Organic" mean the other 30% could have come out of a rat’s butt and probably did. Just because you can buy them in a health food store doesn’t mean they are actually healthy.
Darwinism, baby. Too bad your kids have to suffer your stupidity. Buy them carrots, is that so hard?
Nota bene: those of you who actually know better.....please don’t e-mail me and tell me about the USDA organic certification process and what a piece of crap it is. I already know. I am trying to keep it simple for the sake of someone who really is a clueless windbag and thinks it’s better to buy two bags of swill rather than one bag of good stuff.
But this actually leads me to something interesting. I was under the impression that Luna/Clif Bars had been sold to General Mills last summer, but that turns out not to be the case, it was Lara Bars.
It does make me wonder, though, how many people know that Coke owns Honest Tea and Odwalla? That Morningstar Farms is Kelloggs? I had to give up my beloved Alexia Waffle fries when Alexia went under the hammer to Con-Agra. Earth’s Best Baby Food is the Heinz company. Boca is Kraft. And sob Ben and Jerry’s went to Unilever years ago.
If you aren’t shoving stuff into your mouth with both hands, you can use the other hand to hold the box AND READ THE LABEL.
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Sarah Palin has her own PAC now. This is actually old news, but I’m just getting caught up. I really don’t understand why anyone in their right minds would elect that bimbo to anything, but I guess having the morals of Satan and the intelligence and temperment of your average Pekingnese appeals to the Religious Reich. And more of her staff and her No.1 Dudester have been indicted for even more criminal crap. Really, can you blame me for not keeping up?