So Alex Rodriguez has admitted to taking "a banned substance" after initially telling America he'd done no such thing.
Oops. Guess he can add liar to his list of accomplishments.
Ironically, the most vilified of people who testified, Mark McGwire, is now the only one we know for sure did not lie -- because he would not say he hadn't used. (Woulda been pointless. Shakespeare knows McGwire used, and Shakespeare's been dead a while.)
And Rodriguez has come out and apologized and said he was young and stupid and trying to live up to his contract ...
and it's a pile of horseshit.
Oh, I have no doubt he felt pressure to live up to a quarter-billion-dollar contract.
And while I think the "young and stupid" defense is rubbish -- Rodriguez was 24 in 2001, and while that may seem young to many, he debuted in MLB when he was not quite 19.
Five years in the league -- a league that had banned steroids 10 years previously -- and he wants us to think he was young and stupid.
You do not get to the majors if you are stupid. Oh, sure, maybe you don't have a lot of book learning, maybe you sound dumb when you talk, but getting to the major leagues takes a lot of disciplined, focused, targeted work.
And if you are young and stupid, you should not be pulling in $20+ million dollars per year, which is the reason Rodriguez gives for why he started taking steroids in 2001.
But here is where the argument breaks down, for me:
"To be quite honest I don't know exactly what substance I was guilty of using."
Versus:
"When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure, felt all the weight of the world on top of me to perform and perform at a high level every day."
OK, I get the pressure element inasmuch as someone who will never see a million dollars, let alone 250 of them, can.
But if you have that kind of pressure on you, you're examining everything you do. You're monitoring your nutritional supplements, you're getting everything you can out of your workouts, your batting practice, whatever.
And you're sure as HELL not using anything without knowing what it is and what it will do.
The "I didn't know what I was taking" argument didn't wash with Barry Bonds, who testified before a grand jury that he didn't know he was taking steroids.
(Flaxseed oil? Seriously? C'mon. At least make up something amusingly absurd.)
It didn't wash with Rafael Palmeiro's tainted B12 shot.
Because it doesn't make sense for someone who relies so excruciatingly heavily on his physical abilities to not thoroughly investigate everything he's doing to his body.
No, Rodriguez (who was exposed early to the steroids scene in Seattle, which other Kossacks have documented elsewhere) knew what he was doing, and it would surprise me none to find out he was using before 2001. ("Hey, I've got a contract year coming up. I should bulk up so I can get more money.")
The inevitable question, and the one that concerns me less than Rodriguez's penis size does, is if he's still using.
Why should I care? Why should you care? Why should anyone care? Why would it matter? His positive test for steroids is already known, he's admitted to taking "a banned substance" -- for three years, not, like, two months -- and he's told Congress the opposite.
How could anyone need more ammunition against him? It's like getting someone on triple murder in the first degree and then also going after him for failure to pay 5 cents in income tax. He's already guilty 75 ways to Sunday; a 76th way needn't be the point at which we say "enough."
So at that point, I have two questions: What would he have to do to regain my trust, and does he have even a sliver of a hope at being elected to the Hall of Fame?
The trust issue is almost impossible. He lied and lied and lied, and now I think he's lying some more. Short of making his medical records public and being tested every week for the rest of his career, I'm not seeing it. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
And as for the Hall, good luck. Three years of admitted steroid use probably doesn't mean a home run advantage of more than 20, but most analysts say the Hall voters probably are not going to consider the extent of the use so much as that players did something they knew wasn't allowed, and they did it and did it and did it and tried harder and harder to get away with it:
Rodriguez tested positive for testosterone and Primobolan, an injected or orally administered drug. According to SI's report, Primobolan "is detectable for a shorter period of time than the steroid previously favored by players, Deca-Durabolin."
You don't move to a more effective drug because you're stupid. You move to a more effective drug because you know what you're doing.
[edited to reflect inaccuracy.]