This has nothing to do with politics...more to do with life. I live in California but was born and raised in Virginia. My whole family lives in Virginia. I never realized how difficult it would be to live without the love and support, the drama and conflict, the closeness of those you've known and loved...and those who have loved you...all your life. But now, it's especially hard.
My Grandma is 86 years old and I'm told that she probably won't be alive much longer. She is blind, bedridden, and from what I hear, dementia has set in. I was told that she said I had visited her on Wednesday evening...me, here in California. I'm glad that I could be there, if only in her mind. She probably wouldn't recognize me if I was there now, and I realize that. In my heart, I'll be there with loving family, sharing funny stories spanning the decades of her life. I hear them over the phone, but it's not the same as sharing a smile and a wink, or a good laugh...or a hug.
Grandma wasn't a world traveller, but a strict homebody. I don't believe she ever ventured more than 50 miles away from home in her lifetime. She and Papa were hard workers. They lived in a small house, grew their own vegetables in the garden. I remember being at Grandma's house (it was HER house) during canning time. The weather was blistering hot and the wood stove was burning full blast with those pots full of canning jars... peaches, green beans, corn, tomatoes, even pork tenderloin and sausage. The only respite was the outdoors, and it wasn't much cooler out there, but Grandma had tons of cats and kittens, and my brother, sister and I could forget the heat while looking for cute little kittens with razor sharp claws.
I remember visiting at Christmas and sleeping in a cold room with so many quilts covering me that I could hardly breathe, but feeling so safe and warm that nothing, not even the cold could touch me.
She bought me paper dolls...the Lennon Sisters...at the discount store in town. She cooked everything imaginable for breakfast. Her idea of fun was to cut open a cold watermelon on a hot summer evening and share it with the ones she loved most. I remember I was with Grandma when I found out my other Grandma had died at the age of 50, and she held me while I cried. She had a home remedy for every ill...even if it was just a good hug. She was in charge of her home and afraid to go anywhere else, but she held her world in her hand. She was sure of life and what it held for her.
I know that Grandma has lived a long and full life in her own terms. I think that's probably all any of us could ever ask. Everything that ever made her happy was close to home. She saw the death of her only sons, her youngest son in an auto accident in 1963 and the death of my dad 7 years ago. Five years ago, Papa passed away and Grandma started her descent. She didn't have anyone else close to take care of. That was her purpose and she never questioned it. She never felt cheated in life because she didn't have enough or wanted more. That's the life she wanted and she thrived in it. I'm happy that I shared my childhood with her. It taught me that life can be so simple and you don't need things to make you happy.
I know that Grandma has had a good life and I'm just sorry not to be there to share the memories everyone is recounting tonight in that hospital room while visiting her. I hope she can hear and laugh along in her heart.