(note: one incident of strong language)
I took a vacation to Disneyland this week with my husband and looked for a good book to take with me on the plane. This Common Secret: My Journey as an Abortion Doctor caught my eye, and before I knew it, I couldn't put it down. Part of the reason why was this story about an amazing woman who fights to give women a compassionate and caring choice of what their options are when they become pregnant. Part of it reminded me of the differences between my two abortions, how far we have come, and how far we yet have to go to truly give women a choice in what they do with their bodies.
A 19-year-old girl sits in a house converted into an abortion clinic. Abortions have been legalized for 23 years, but you wouldn't know it from this place. She had to ask several friends before she was told of a place that would do abortions. The room she sits in looks old and dirty. Shower curtains have replaced all the doors in this house. This is a clinic that moves regularly, mostly to avoid the protesters that would try to break in or burn the place down. She was told the location but had to keep it secret.
In a converted bedroom, she sees her fetus for the first time and feels a sudden longing to keep it, but she's already decided she can't. Chris would kick her out of his house if she dared, and she has no one else. He's already paid for the abortion. What more does she want?
She got into this predicament mostly because Chris refused to wear a condom. It deadened the sensation, he said. She tried to time things right so she wouldn't get pregnant, but she didn't know much about the rhythm method. It should have occurred to her that there was a reason schools didn't teach it (it doesn't work), but she was too concerned with keeping Chris happy: he could get downright mean if he didn't get his way in all things. She didn't think that he was abusing her. After all, he never hit her, but he frequently told her how ugly and fat she was, and that it was a blessing that anyone would be willing to fuck her. She didn't hear the term emotional abuse for some time, and it didn't occur to her at the time that she was being emotionally abused. She only knew that she had to do what he asked.
No one tells her what is going to happen, no one asks her if she's ok with this. The nurses are cold and clinical. She strips down naked in the converted kitchen, places a drapecloth protectively across her body, and waits for the doctor. He doesn't tell her anything either, simply plunges below the drape and starts working. She feels a pinch, then pain. There's no explanation why she hurts, and when she mentions it, the doctor grunts but doesn't say anything. Pretty soon, the pain becomes nearly unbearable and she starts to cry out and groan: she can't help it. The nurse nearby tells her to shut up: she's scaring the other girls in the living room outside. Someone pokes their head around the shower curtain, but does nothing and soon retreats.
The ordeal is soon over but she can see the contempt in the nurse's eyes: she couldn't keep quiet. The doctor leaves the room: he never even told her his name. The nurse hands her a month's supply of birth control and tells her to see a doctor before she runs out so she can get more. Then she tells the girl to get dressed. Chris picks her up at the back door and drives her home, then leaves to hang out with his friends some more. Alone and confused and hurt, the girl starts to cry. She's still crying when Chris returns home a few hours later.
A few years later, the now-young-woman is pregnant again. She and her boyfriend were using a condom, but something went wrong. Steve, who is much more gentlemanly and kind than Chris, offers to marry her, but she refuses. Somehow, she knows he's not the right man for her. However, remembering her last abortion experience, she decides she'd rather keep the baby.
Things started falling apart as soon as she tells her mother and father of her pregnancy. Dad looked sad, but Mom was livid. She called her daughter a slut: how dare she get pregnant? Doesn't she know what that will do to her future, her reputation? Of course she's going to get an abortion: there is not going to be a discussion on this topic.
At first, the woman is fiercely protective of the baby inside of her, but eventually, mom wears her down and she agrees to the abortion. A month later, and she's forcing her way past protesters picketing outside a Planned Parenthood clinic. The men and women outside yell at her, calling her a baby killer, but she tries not to listen or make any eye contact. The waiting room is quieter, and filled with other women. No one talks to anyone else, or makes eye contact, but at least no one's eyes are accusing.
After a while, her name is called and she enters the back area. Her blood is taken. An ultrasound is done, though she chooses not to look at her fetus this time. Then she sits in a room where another woman tells her what is going to happen, how long it will take, and what happens afterwards. Her questions are answered, she signs several more forms, and she is offered a pill that she is told will calm her. She is led to another room and instructed to take off her clothing. She is led into a surgical suite and sits down. The pill takes effect and she doesn't remember much, other than a memory of vague pain and a soothing voice when the pain became uncomfortable. Memory returns in a recovery suite, where she is given food and drink. Her boyfriend Steve is called in to take her home. Mom wanted her to return to the house but she refuses, preferring to head to Steve's place. She lies on the couch for the rest of the day watching TV, allowing herself to go mentally numb so she won't think about what just happened. A few days later, she's back at college.
Abortion has been legal in the United States for 36 years, and yet it still faces fierce opposition. In some cases, anti-abortionists have made it nearly impossible for a woman to receive abortion services. in 2008, 87% of US counties did not have an abortion provider. Anti-abortionists show pictures of babies aborted in their second and third trimester, when 89% of all abortions are performed in the first trimester. A fetus at 12 weeks, the upper limit of the first trimester, looks like this for reference. Crisis Pregnancy Centers frequently misinformed women about abortion, insisting that women would die of blood loss, that their uterus would be scraped with razor blades and that abortions inevitably lead to infertility. In 2006, Congress investigated 23 random CPC's. 20 of them provided misleading information that was unsupported by evidence (from This Common Secret). In some cases, women were locked in rooms and requires to watch terrifying yet inaccurate movies about the costs of abortion. Despite these roadblocks to reproductive choices, 35% of all women will have an abortion sometime in their lives.
In her book, Susan Wicklund describes the incredible circumstances of being an abortion doctor. She faces harassment, stalking, the intimidation of her husband and daughter, assault and even the barricading of her own home for days by protesters. In her own state of Montana, there were no anti-stalking laws at the time, so she could not have protesters who stalked her and sent death threats arrested. In order to avoid these circumstances, she was forced to sleep in her clinic, leave hours early so she wouldn't be trapped, hire a bodyguard and move repeatedly. Her daughter had to be escorted to school in a police car. She employed disguises so she would not be recognized, and sometimes was driven to the clinic in the trunk of a car so protestors would not chain themselves
Many women face similar trials to get an abortion. Some are fired from their jobs for taking the day off. Since many states require a 24 hour cooling off period prior to getting an abortion, women in poverty (who are four times more likely to need abortion services may be prohibited from receiving the services they need due to hotel, driving and time costs. many of these women drive 300 miles to get an abortion: it's remarkable that so many do despite these constraints.
There is something you can do, even without any medical training. Donate to Planned Parenthood. Lobby for hospitals to be able to provide abortion services, not just outside clinics. Join local groups that seek to inform the public about abortion and reproduction choices. Volunteer at a Planned Parenthood. Counsel friends in need of advice. Join local protests and marches. But do something. We often think that, as long as Roe v Wade stands, women are safe, yet this is not so. Women and their medical providers are under constant assault from the religious, the fanatical, the violent. They need protection and support: help them out!