Seriously, who ever thought that we find ourselves in the position of having such problems! Lol. The scales tipping way past the middle and into unknown territory. Maybe the creeped out feeling is partly from dealing with the sheer volume of positive input from an unexpected source, maybe partly waiting for all the good cheer and camaraderie to taper off. Or fall off a cliff and revert to status quo. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, because nothing good lasts. I’ve been fiddling with this diary for a while, but the 'Blacks creeped out: too much niceness' diary was my excuse to publish. There are two parts, emotional and theoretical.
Race Relations is such a huge Thing, and generally a prickly subject. It usually feels stiff and uncomfortable, so often thorny and unpredictable, so very ready to go wrong. Many of us stand around, trying not to shuffle our feet, trying to figure out what to do with hands and eyes. Wanting to find common ground, not wanting to make a bad impression. Often we glance at each other in doubt, Am I coming across weird? Are they taking things the wrong way? Is it just because we’re not the same? Do they think I’m prejudiced? Have I said or done something that I didn’t realize was wrong? Am I overthinking this? What do they really think about me? Should I meet eyes? Should I not? Which is worse? Does my smile seem fake since I’m thinking about it or trying too hard? Obama has changed that. What I saw looking at people at the Lincoln Memorial concert and the inauguration carried me along, even thousands of miles away.
Obama is an introduction by a trusted friend. A shared frame of reference. A common starting point. A reboot in our casual relations. The initial uncertainty between us seems altogether gone. Honest smiles abound. We share the awareness of history and the feeling of the new era that we brought about together. Whether it’s momentary or permanent, who knows, but I think that it will never again be as it was. A profoundly happy thought. Obama is the bridge between us, a bridge of welcome and joy. Of accomplishment and teamwork and shared struggle. Not equal struggle, but shared during this election and new presidency that takes us to an extraordinary place. A renewal in the vibrant Technicolor of little girls’ outfits. We are one. On the same side for the right reasons, gathering together to move forward. Our disappointments buoyed and made small by the company of our fellows in what we accomplished. Our readiness to be cynical and defensive set aside. Benefit of the doubt for all. Community and comity attained. Comity is the extension of certain courtesies across jurisdictions- we are assuming the extension of courtesies now, as we have not before. Taking for fragile granted that courtesies will be extended, respected and returned between us.
Tomorrow’s another day. Things aren’t going to be easy anytime soon. Next week or next month the pressures of work and family and the world at large may blunt some of the spontaneity, but I think that ‘Obama’ and a smile will cushion and carry us for a very long while.
It’s a leap of faith, but an earned one. One we took together.
Whew. Okay that’s the fun, over the top, emotive part of the equation. The pragmatic underlayment for the changes we see and will hopefully continue to see are rooted in assessments and (usually) subconscious perceptions that we don’t factor into our daily lives.
We pride ourselves on our big brains and how much more evolved we are then earlier models of humanity, but we are still affected by ancient patterns and perceptions. We pay much more attention than we realize to body language and facial expressions, (and scent, not applicable to this, but true).
There was a famous (at the time) study done in the early 70’s which looked at a number of white grade school teachers. The teachers, who all self identified as non racially biased, were filmed meeting different groups of young children, (2nd grade-ish ages). The teachers interacted verbally in the same manner with all groups, but when leaning down to talk with minority children, their purses went behind their backs. When approaching the white children, the purses stayed in front of their bodies. They were asked afterward if they had treated all the children the same and they all answered, ‘Yes’. When the teachers were shown the films, they were universally appalled and ashamed at the reaction. It had been entirely unconscious.
There has been a lot of research attention recently paid to what are termed ‘micro expressions’, fleeting facial expressions that are so brief that most of us don’t consciously recognise them. The discomfort of uncertainty regarding potential reactions and interactions, bracing for potentially negative interactions, and outright expectation of negative reactions all show in both body language and micro expressions. Personally, I believe that those micro expressions of uncertainty, reticence, etc are the basis of why the polls consistently show that white people perceive and believe that racial bigotry is less prevalent than minority people do. The micro expressions are unconscious and totally invisible to the person with whom they originate, (as with the purse’s positioning), but are perceived at least on a subconscious level by the people facing them who feel it as prejudice, conscious or not. And now, Obama has erased much of that uncertainty. We are expecting a more consistently positive interaction when we meet across ethnic/racial lines and so the micro expressions and body language are more positive and the positive reactions reinforce the expectations. And truthfully, Obama is probably an excuse that many people had been looking for to let go of the uncertainty and meet each other as just people with something guaranteed in common.
Reboot.