I live in the supposedly liberal, Democratic town of Alexandria, Virginia.
Some of you may have read my previous diary about the craziness with the lacrosse coaches at my daughter's high school who, along their wives, planned to stuff the ballot box at the lacrosse boosters annual meeting and gain control of the treasury. They accidentally forwarded to me an email outlining their plot, and I sent it on to the athletic director, principal, superintendent, all the parents in the booster club, the school board, etc. My previous diary, the "YOU PEOPLE" diary, was about how the wife of the freshman boys' coach implied that I was racist because I used the phrase "you people" when addressing an all-white group of morons.
For the past month, I've been battling these people, and the athletic director, principal, superintendent and school board, who have done NOTHING. It all came to a head last week when my daughter was cut from the Varsity team. Everyone in town knows it's retaliation, but there is no "right to play" and she's not a minority or disabled, so there's no civil rights suit.
At first, I wrote an angry, profane, vitriolic blog. I was mad at everybody. I was mad at the administration and the school board for not acting, and at the other parents for not standing with me, but they don't want to jeopardize their own kids' playing time.
Finally, frustrated, angry, upset, sad and feeling very, very alone, I turned to the last thing I could think of...humor. I thought to myself, this town is a bunch of stark raving hypocrites. Alexandria is supposed to be some liberal, Democratic beacon of diversity embraced, but that's bull. The high school, of "Remember the Titans" fame, is entirely socially segregated. Black kids and white kids and hispanic kids and the kids from 40 countries generally don't play the same sports or sit together at lunch or hang out with each other after school and on weekends. Most black families live in the 'Berg, a 50's era project, or the poorer parts of town. The hispanic families and the immigrant families mostly live in the high rises on the west side of town, near Intersate I-395, or the older, run down apartment complexes. The lovely mansions and comfortable single-family homes are mostly occupied by white people. I walked all over Alexandria last fall canvassing for Obama. I had a lot of doors slammed in my face, including one man who said, "I'm not voting for that communist n*gg*r."
I'll always be a Kos-posting, Huff-post reading, ACLU-donating, pinko, commie, liberal, and proud of it, but I'm not going to pretend I don't see all the hypocrisy right around me. So, without further ado, I give you my very own private Onion, a satirical lool at Alexandria, Virginia, as it really is. I hope you enjoy the blog. I hope you click to follow it, and leave a comment. I hope you find it funny when nothing around us these days is very funny at all. Most of all, I hope you pass it someone who fits the profile of the people I spoofed.
I'll be adding to it now and again.
http://satiricalalexandria.blogspot.com/