Sometimes, I click through to Zogby polls that float into the e-mail inbox just to see what the heck they're asking.
With this free online tutorial, you too can Create-a-Poll(TM). First comes the question, and then a thought-provoking sentence or two to help you create your very own poll.
All questions are found in the real actual poll. (I left many out. I don't want to bias the results).
Just follow the easy steps after the fold. Feel free to add your own questions in the comments section.
All you do is ask questions. If they draw conclusions or implicitly point at certain answers, so what?
Here's your guide:
The Employee Free Choice Act is a proposed bill that would effectively eliminate the secret ballot used by workers in deciding whether or not their plant, business, or small business should be unionized. Do you favor or oppose the bill?
That's a good one.
The Obama administration has quietly moved to reverse the policy of arming pilots of commercial aircraft. The administration is doing this by diverting funding for the training program to hire more supervisory staff who will engage in field inspection of pilots - despite no recorded incidents of pilots improperly using their weapons aboard aircraft. Do you think passengers will be placed at risk by having unarmed pilots, or not?
Ah, the Stealth Disarming of Pilots. Funny, I never knew there was an arming ...
Obama's plans to sign the Freedom of Choice Act, a bill that will end state pro-life laws, could force the nation's 624 Catholic-run hospitals to shut down or to engage in civil disobedience as a matter of conscience rather than provide abortions. Do you agree or disagree with the administration's plan to sign the bill if it is approved?
OMG! OMG! Catholics riot across the nation! They're being forced to abandon the Middle Ages! By socialists who will end state pro-life laws!!!
The Dow Industrial Average fell about 750 points during President Obama's first 60 days in office. Which of the following do you think is to blame?
The President's dire talk of economic collapse
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner's inability to offer a plan to get the credit markets lending again
A global recession and forces beyond the administration's control
All of the above
Where's the choice "25 years of Republican deregulation, thievery, lies, misdirection and canoodling with the lobbyists with the fattest bankroll ... oh, and plus Chimpynomics, Chimpy's War, and Dick Cheney's boil-encrusted butt?" No, wait ... that's his face on the Sunday pundit shows.
Should members of Congress who received campaign donations over the past two years from the troubled financial giant AIG, return the contributions?
No, they should sue AIG for damages.
Overall, how would you rate President Obama's job performance?
I get it. Questions crying out for the reader to draw negative inferences about Obama. Then, ask how he's doing.
Is the U.S. headed in the right direction or are things off on the wrong track?
If you have to ask this question, you've been in a coma since 2001.
What is your overall opinion of President Obama?
Wait -- is he "Obama" (see above) or Pres. Obama?
Do you, or do you not like Barack Obama as a person?
Do not like
Given the choice between Mikey Steele and Barack Obama? You tell me. Of course, the wife and Michelle get together all the time so I feel like 'Shel and the girls are part of the family.
Which of these community institutions do you feel are essential to the character of your community? (Choose all that apply)
Professional or semi-professional sports teams
Orchestras or other musical groups
None of these
Republicans: Answer "No."
How important is the presence of local arts and cultural groups to your overall quality of life?
Not very important
Not at all important
Republicans: Answer "No."
How has your level of giving to local cultural organizations changed since last year - has it increased, decreased, or stayed the same?
Stayed the same
Do not donate to local cultural organizations
Republicans: say "Where's the choice for shoving money into Congress' collective maw?"
What do you think should happen to federal funding of community arts and cultural programs in times of economic uncertainty - should it increase, decrease, or stay the same?
(a) The federal government should increase funding of community arts and cultural programs in times of economic uncertainty
(b) The federal government should decrease funding of community arts and cultural programs in times of economic uncertainty
(c) The federal government should maintain the same level of funding for community arts and cultural programs in times of economic uncertainty
(d) Not sure
What's a "time of economic uncertainty?" That sounds like the last ten years for anyone who makes less than a million bucks a year.
In your opinion, what is the most effective way to increase appreciation and awareness of art among young people?
a. Art education programs in schools
b. Supplementary or after-school arts education programs
c. Free or reduced admission to local arts events
d. Partnerships between youth and the local arts community
e. Other way
f. Not important to increase appreciation and awareness of art among young people
g. Not sure
Republicans: write FFFFF and it'll count five, or maybe 30, times. Think of it as a Credit Default Answer.
Do you think the role of private art foundations in funding community arts and cultural programs will increase or decrease in the coming years?
Stay the same
Hmmm. Appears to be an honest question at last.
Are you or is anyone in your household a member of a union?
If so, remember that contracts are sacred, but some are more sacred than others.
Do you consider yourself to be mostly a resident of: your city or town, America, or the planet earth?
My city or town
The planet earth
Is there a choice for "debtor's prison?"
Are you or is any member of your family a member of the Armed Forces?
Why is that capitalized? Or do you mean, "owns a copy of Elivis Costello's 'Armed Forces' CD?"
Do you consider yourself a NASCAR fan?
Why is this in every Zogby poll? Does he sponsor a team?
How often do you attend church, mosque, synagogue or other place of worship?
More than once a week
About once a week
Once or twice a month
Only on religious holidays
If a NASCAR fan, please include your annual pilgrimage to Dover, Delaware.
Would you consider yourself to be a member of the "investor class?"
Do you mean as in "Investor in AIG whether I like it or not?"
Are you currently or have you ever been a member of the National Rifle Association?
Currently a member of the NRA
Used to be a member of the NRA
Have never been a member of the NRA
The idea of a gun owner who's "not sure" is ugly to contemplate. Is you gun loaded? Not sure?
Did you not have to pay any taxes last year because your income level was below the threshold to pay taxes or because your tax deductions left you with no liability?
I did not have to pay taxes
I had to pay taxes
What grammatical genius constructed that sentence? Choice (d) is missing: "(a), and by the way: Taxes are for little people."
How often do you shop at Wal-Mart?
A few times a month
A couple times a year
Let's see ... guns, taxes, Wal-Mart, passport ... what are they driving at here?
Do you currently have a valid passport?
In my own name, or using an alias? Who wants to know?
Do you personally have TRICARE?
Huh? I guess they must be getting at something here.
Do you work in the medical field?
No, I just support health insurance companies who have applied "trickle down" economics to my doctor and my health.